I don't usually post stuff like this, but I need to do some blogging therapy. Now.
To the people I owe drawings, I'm sorry they aren't up by now. I started them for real (as opposed to all the false starts and scrapping), but for some reason, I just can't make myself pick up that pencil/stylus now.
I guess it's because I see all these artists that are more skilled and/or more loved than I am here on theO. I've been an Otakuite for nearly five years, and I hardly see any improvement in my art. I'm not an amazing artist, so I have no chance of being recognized. That's made me want to post art even less, which is very counterproductive.
I feel like I'm not doing enough. There have been people that have only been on theO for a short while, and they're running circles around me and rubbing shoulders with legendary members. Even when I try my hardest, few people give me the time of day.
I subscribe and comment when I can, but I feel like, more often than not, it isn't reciprocated. Sometimes I'm outright ignored. I don't know if I'm annoying or pushy or what.
I sound like such a brat right now. I apologize for that. It's just that I'm very depressed because I'm under-employed, running out of medication, shut in my apartment for most of the time, and steadily gaining weight. Realistically speaking, there ain't no way I'm losing 40 pounds in 3.5 months when Anime Central rolls around. Goodbye, cosplay.
Lately, I've been feeling like I'm cursed, because I'm an artist, but not a great artist. Only great artists succeed. Anyone else is just tossed aside. I'd be OK with this if it weren't for the fact that I can't do much else besides artistic endeavors. (Just so you know, I'm taking about more than just visual art-- I'm not a good enough musician either).
Man, this is such a disjointed post.
To summarize, I'm in a vicious cycle and a downward spiral. I just can't win with me.
Why am I even posting this? I'm just opening myself up for attacks.
If you're a Tumblr user and you're not upset by a little foul language, read this. If you didn't read it, let me paraphrase: Tumblr is changing their TOS so that they can use any user's material for their own purposes if it's not copyrighted. Pretty sneaky, huh?
If the powers that be don't change this, I'm deleting my Tumblr account this February before the new TOS goes into effect. It's not likely that Tumblr will find me, but I want to be safe. So listen to my songs while you still can. I apologize in advance to all six of my followers.
Edit!
I contacted Tumblr, and this is what they had to say:
Tumblr has no intention of owning any original content you post in order to sell it for a profit. As stated in the new Terms of Service, "You retain ownership you have of any intellectual property you post to Tumblr."
Thanks for your note. The "Subscriber Content License" section you are pointing to is actually not new - you can see it in the March, 2012 version of the Terms of Service, as well as the annotation to that section that states "you grant us a license to make that content available in the ways you'd expect from using our services."
This section is there so that Tumblr has the rights it needs to make Tumblr and enable sharing of what you post on the site, but as we state, it has no impact on your rights to whatever you post, so the sections aren't contradictory at all. Without these rights, we may not be able to, for example, let your followers see what you post on your blog. Also, again, this section isn't new. Sorry for the confusion!
I feel much better now. Sorry for the false alarm, everyone.
You know how how those run-of-the-mill fangirl posts go. They just go on and on about how hot the guy is and how they're gonna marry him and stuff like that.
This is not going to be one of those.
I've been planning this post since la...
Read the full post »
I was skimming through my copy of the Azumanga Daioh omnibus just now and I noticed something. In just about every one of Chiyo's speech bubbles, the text is formatted in a different font. At first, it's the same font as everyone else's speech bubbles, but after the "special" where the girls find the abandoned kitty, the font that Chiyo's speech bubbles are formatted in looks more intense than the others. Does anyone know why this is?
Here were my 2013 goals centered around theO. Which did I accomplish? Read to find out.
1. Draw more. I want to get in at least one picture per month. That way, I can do an end-of-the-year art meme. I think this goal is going to have a lot of sub-goals.
Mission accomplished! I just need to slap together that meme.
1-A. Draw fan art from series that I've never drawn from before. Self explanatory.
Done!
1-B. Practice drawing my characters. They need some development.
I got in some practice, but there's room for improvement.
1-C. Enter more Challenges. This year, there weren't a lot of Challenges that I was interested in. Heck, there weren't a lot of Challenges, period.
Need I say more?
2. Start my web comic. It's going to be about me and my OCs. There will be much craziness. This goal can be broken down further.
I think my inspiration for this particular web comic kind of died out. But I do want to make SOME kind of comic.
2-A. Learn to use my tablet. I want this comic to be as computer-centered as possible.
I LOVE MY TABLET! I think I'm getting better using it.
2-B. Learn to use Manga Studio. I've had it for quite some time, but never figured it out. And when I mean "quite some time", I mean the version I have is no longer current.
News flash: I have the current version. It is amazing. It makes SO much more sense than the older version I had. And I think I'm getting a pretty good handle on it.
3. Crack the Fan Art Top 25. Yeah, like that'll happen.
I cracked two of them! Wow. I know my time on the 1 Month one was short, but I did it.
4. Buy a scanner. I don't want to have to go to my parents' to scan anymore. It's a waste of gas to drive just for that purpose. I'll have to do a lot of shopping. Large scanners are expensive.
Didn't make this goal. I need to save up more. Especially since I have my eyes on a different one than before.
5. Write more. Poor "Rebels" is neglected. "Survival Instincts" needs an update. I have to figure out what else to add to my library as well.
I posted a bunch of new stuff. Still need to work on my multi-chapter stories more.
6. Make a wallpaper. I know the Wallpaper section is kind of dead. But I want to try my hand at one anyway.
Didn't do that either. And I apologize to Anime Galleries. It was Anime Stocks that infected my computer. Note to self: If a message comes up saying that you need to update something, CLOSE YOUR BROWSER IMMEDIATELY! Then scan for viruses EVERYWHERE!
7. Do my voice meme. It's still open. Ask me anything, so long as it's appropriate.
Done! Click meh. Almost done with the drawings I owe people, too.
8. Start a Challenge. I have SO many ideas. I just can't think of any of them when I get on theO.
I never actually did that. I just have too many ideas to pick from. And it doesn't help that I want to enter every Challenge that I come up with.
So that was 2013. All my incomplete goals automatically carry over to 2014 because I can't think of any new ones. Except maybe to use this World for more anime-ish things. And cosplay and post pictures of that.
