Happy 2009 everyone!!
I'm quite tired, as I'm sure many of you are. I hosted a New Year's party, which was crazy fun. I was up til 4 last night, even though everyone left at 1. Well, everyone except my friend Lan (which is short for Alana) from out of town, and another friend, who I call Aara-kun (which is short for Aaron). Only Lan planned to stay over, but Aara's brother took the car so Aara couldn't get home, so he stayed over too.
Aara is a good kid, like a little brother to me, but I worry about him. He grew up without his father. His dad died when he was a toddler, so Aara's mom raised him and his three siblings mostly on her own. She's a good person too, though very short, so I'm guessing that Aara gets his height from his father.
So in the long run, Aara never had a great male role model. Hid older brother was there, but still a kid himself when they lost their dad. When I met Aara a few years ago, he took an immediate liking to my dad. Not really a big deal to me, I share my parents with alot of my friends. It's like having a whole bunch of siblings that are the same age as me.
The thing that worries me is what my dad will do with Aara's admiration. My dad has no real responsibility for Aara or any obligatoin to do anything for him. I'm just babbling now because I'm quite angry and I need to spit it out before whoever bothers to read this gets bored. My dad gave Aara a cigar.
After everyone went home, my dad and Aara went outside by the bonfire, so Lan and I came out too. I was . . . disappointed to see the small, red glow of a cigar in Aara's hand. He thought that I didn't know he had it until I asked him to please stop blowing smoke in my face. He looked kind of embarassed but my dad was just indifferent, like Aara wasn't fourteen like he was an adult who could legally smoke.
For a long time, my mind went numb. I automatically responded to the conversation, then went inside complaining of cold feet (which was bullshit, by the way). I didn't know what to do, so I sat in my room until Lan and Aara came up. Lan knows me like no one else, so she was the first to realize how angry and disapointed I was. Aara saw it too. He apologizerd again and again.
"I don't want you to be sad Madi-kun, especially if its my fault. I'm sorry. I didn't even like it! I promise I won't do it again."
I know its a promise he can't keep. I know that somewhere in the future, he will smoke again, I just hope that he does it when he is an adult and mature enough to make that decision on his own.
