Introduction: Germany

Guten Tag. It is customary for one to introduce themselves in this situation and in order to follow protocol, I shall introduce myself now. I have ordered and numbered important information that you may wish to know about me. Please read over it.

1. My name is Germany.
2. Ich spreche Deutsch.

I believe that is all the important information. I will serve to the best of my abilities.

...I have just been informed that photo identification is also required. Very well then.

This is Germany, ending transmission.

- Germany

Image from zerochan. All credit goes to the original artist. :)