Just thinking about whether or not to send this to Anthony...because he and Rachel are now dating (yeah if you look waaaay back in my posts, she's the one I thought I was "competing" with for him, see page three bottom post "screw titles"). Real nice way to start a Monday, right? I probably won't send this to him, cuz its sounds a lil too bitchy, but I needed to let it out..
Was there always an underlying hint of you liking Rachel the whole time, or did it suddenly happen? Because I remember what you told me in August, you said you figured out it would never work. "I had liked her for a while but i know it would never have worked And she doesn't like me back so..." I'm not trying to hate you, I'm just warning you because I still care about you enough that I don't want to see you get hurt. And it worries me that you keep going after these girls after you told me you weren't ready for a serious relationship.After musical was over, there was this time where his fb status kept changing from in a relationship to single to it's complicated and so on cuz some girl said she liked him or whatever... and now he and Rachel are dating Was it just because I was too serious? And all of this only a month coming out of our relationship. Was I that easy to get over? When did you stop caring about me? I'm sorry for bothering you, but these questions have been bothering me, and it's hard for me to talk to you in person because I have all of these swirling, pent-up emotions with no real way to let them come through without me bursting in tears and trying to hurt something.
Wow, I realize that I'm really insecure about myself in a relationship. I guess I'm not ready to have a serious one. Or it's just that all of the guys my age are too immature to want a serious relationship and just want "to tap that", as said by some kid somewhere who I hope will never procreate. Well, sorry honey, but that ain't gonna happen with me, at least I hope not... Maybe what I really need is good no-strings-attached snogging...
Sorry for dumping all of this out here, but this is one of the only places where I feel free to let my real emotions out for others to see. Maybe because none of my irl friends are here except my sis. Anyway, something anime/manga related: I'm going to be cosplaying as Misty from Pokemon for the con coming up. But first I need red suspenders, anyone know where to get some?
