The sugar coats my tongue.

It’s like I’m in a dream world.

I take another bite.

Shoving it into my mouth.

I swallow.

And gag.

It’s time.

I don’t even have to stick my fingers down my throat.

The food comes up naturally.

Not even digested.

It lands in the water with a plop.


Isn’t this supposed to make me feel better about myself?

I just feel worse.

I’m too fat.

Even though I can see my ribs.

I see the flawed logic.

I just don’t care.

As my life spins out of control

Food is the only thing I can control.

But it is out of control too.

I don’t want to eat.

But I take another bite.

The sugar is like glue on my tongue.

I wish it would kill me.

My hair has started to fall out.

I wear a hat.

My teeth ache.

They’re dissolving.

My throat is bleeding.

And bleeding.

And bleeding.

Each time the food comes up its covered in blood.

My stomach is bleeding too.

Could I die from this?

Does this mean death is close?

I wish I could just take pills.

But I would throw them up before they could kill me.

I can’t keep anything down.

Isn’t this disease for girls?

I can’t tell anyone.

They would give me that awful pitying look.

The one that makes me want to gouge their eyes out.

They’ll find the bloody mess in my room soon.

From the bloody food.

Soaked in blood from my throat and stomach.

And they’ll know.

But I’ve got that covered.

I take another bite.

And tie the rope around my neck.

I want to die before I throw up one more time.

One little jump.

One little snap.

And that’s it.

There is no snap.

I slowly suffocate.

Oh well.

Better late than never.

As my face swells and turns blue

I can still feel the sweetness on my tongue.


Because the darkness inside can be much worse than anything the world has to offer.

Submitted for the challenge 'Definition of Darkness' by jRockstar11385, although it was written long before then. The main character is Axel, from Kingdom Hearts.