Sooo, I just mentioned my touching problem. Its been dubbed "touchaphobia" because its catchier than the name of the actual phobia. Anyway, I figured since I had a horrible experience with it today I'd use that to help give you guys some insight on it. This story is a more extreme version of how it usually is though. I've never been worse than I was today.
I was at lunch, standing at the table, and minding my own business as usual. Out of nowhere, someone comes up, pulls my hood over my head and face, puts their arms around my neck and shoulders, and starts dragging me away. Basically, I went into full on panic mode. Unfortunately, I was so disoriented that I couldn't fight back or do anything more than clutch the person's arms and try to breath. My aunt works at my school as the instructional assistant in the clinic and I was hoping for my life that it was her and not a stranger. It wasn't her though...of course. It was this guy who's at our table everyday, but I never talk to him. He didn't know about my phobia so I'm not mad at him, but I was terrified while it was happening. My friends told him to let go and then I basically had a panic attack. It burned everywhere he'd touched me and I kept replaying it in my mind. I was trying to calm down, but I couldn't and I started breathing really heavily and waaay faster than I should have. People kept telling me to calm down and breath slowly. I almost hyperventalated and lost all feeling in my feet because of it. My head was pulsing and my thoughts were swirling. I actually have a happy place because sometimes when this stuff happens you really need to go somewhere else that makes you comfortable and thats the best you can do at the time. Thing was, I was so afraid that I couldn't get there. I really paniced after that. I ended up having to leave the table because there were so many people there. I went to my cousin's lunch table, which I never do, and eventually calmed down.
When I first got to his table he seemed confused, but then I explained. At first I just said I needed to be there, but he wanted to know why and I told him people kept touching me. He thought I meant inappropriately though so his friend says, "So who's ass are we gonna beat?" I had to explain that it wasn't like that and basically, I just sat between them until I felt better. For some reason they were a safety zone for me. Eventually I had to go back to my own table though.
The guy who grabbed me felt really bad about it all. When I got there he asked if I was okay and if I was mad at him about it. I just kinda nodded and kept my distance from everyone. After that, no one could touch me at all. Not even people who normally could (all two of them, lol). I could barely focus on anything and I wasn't really all there for the rest of the day. I'm doing fine now though.
