what is it that makes me so distraught today
whether i wondering it or not
the feeling is there in me
i wish it not to be
but i can't let it go
it comes from my memories
from days long lost to me
but still inside of my heart
days when i knew happiness
when i knew what true pain was
the nights i would lose myself
in dreams and nightmares i remember not
but i know they came to me
for each day i would wake,
and feel the raw emotions
each day back then i feared this
for emotions have run amock
causing me pains i never knew
but... as i have grown it's gotten less
though the struggle is there,
the distraught mindset will truly never leave
i have learned to cope with it.
it's become, well a part of me,
and it will be a constant fight
but i will live it through
days of misery
nights of pain,
it's part of who i am
along with my hope.