Note: No Death Note characters were harmed in the making of this story….
“Matt!” Mello said excitedly, “Willy Wonka has sent out five golden tickets! Whoever gets one will get to have a tour of the factory!”
“And this applies us how?” Matt asked playing a new Nintendo game.
“Don’t you see?” Mello asked jumping up and down, “If I get one of those tickets, all my dreams will come true!”
“Mello, Willy Wonka sends out fifty billion chocolates a minute. What are the chances of winning?” Matt asked sarcastically.
“But look I got one!” Mello said showing the golden ticket to Matt who looked up astounded, “I found it in one of my chocolate bars! Anyway all that matters is that I have one!”
Matt choked on his cigarette and a plume of smoke came out his nose. He looked at the ticket, and sure enough, it was the winning golden ticket. Mello’s eyes widened and contracted as he danced around happily. Matt grabbed the ticket and began reading the back. It stated that the person that was now in possession of the ticket was allowed to enter the factory as well as an adult.
“Mello,” Matt started knowing what he was getting himself into, “Mello, Roger would never let you go after the stunt we pulled on the plane a month ago.”
“Don’t worry Matt! I made up with Roger and he already said that I could go!” Mello said happily.
“Mello….” Matt said, “I um….I already got you a ticket.”
“What do you mean?” Mello asked.
“I triangulated the chocolate source, divided it by the weather patterns of the day it started, determined the random coalition with some simple calculus, and bought the winning ticket in the first chocolate I bought,” Matt said holding up another ticket.
“Oh Matt! Now we can go together!” Mello said hugging Matt, “But who will be your parent?”
“Well…I was going to give it to you….and….so I don’t have one….”
“We will just have Roger’s wife take you!” Mello said enthusiastically.
So the day rolled around that the children and their chaperones waited outside the gates of the chocolate factory. Matt stood with his game boy in his hand. Mello stood a chocolate in both hands. The other three arrived a tad later. One was a younger Light Yagami chewing bubble gum standing with his mother. Another was an obviously rich girl named Misa Amane. The last and lest expected was a skinny teenage boy standing with and old man. Mello elbowed Matt in the ribs.
“Look at that guy. He looks really out of place here,” Mello snickered.
“My name is Ryuzaki,” L said smiling.
Mello laughed, and Matt returned to his game. Just then the gates of the Wonka factory opened, and music began.
“Welcome children!” a voice said happily, “I am Willy Wonka!”
A man with brown hair appeared as the door opened. Mello ran straight up to him.
“Hi! I’m Mello and I am your biggest fan. I love you chocolate to death, and did I mention you were awesome?” Mello asked excitedly.
“That is….nice….” Willy Wonka said. He strolled around looking at all the children. Light popped a bubble as he walked by. “And these are your….chaperones….Well we have a lot to see and need to hurry now!”
Willy Wonka ushered them all inside, and the tour began. The first room they walked into stunned Mello beyond reason. It was a room completely made out of candy and chocolate. Then a small man went by. Misa screamed and Willy asked her to be quiet.
“What was that thing?” Misa asked terrified.
“That was an umpalompa,” Willy answered, “they work in my factory.”
Mello stared in wonder at the room. It was like he had died and gone to heaven. He ran around in circles taking it all in.
“Everything in this room is edible….even I’m edible, but that would be catabolism and is frowned on in most societies,” Willy said spreading out his arms.
Mello couldn’t decide what to try first. He ran to a lollipop sticking out of the candy grass and licked it. Then he ran to a tree and licked that. His taste-buds were on fire! There was so much to try! Mello licked everything until he saw what he wanted the most. There in the middle of the room was a river of liquid chocolate. Mello dived for it.
“Mello!” Roger said turning, but it was too late. Mello had dived into the chocolate and was now eating it. Mello was too preoccupied with eating the chocolate to notice a large tube coming towards him.
“Mello get out of there!” Roger tried again, but it was useless. Mello was swallowed up into the tube. Roger was in terror, but Willy merely smiled.
“Don’t worry! We can get him out!” Willy said showing Roger to one of his umpalompas, “Take this man to the chocolate storage to get him out.”
So Roger left leaving only four children: Light, Misa, a now terrified Matt, and L posing as Ryuzaki. They all continued the tour. They walked into a glass elevator with buttons covering the wall. Light was tempted to touch one of them.
“Don’t,” Willy said as Light went to touch one.
“Don’t tell me what not to touch!” Light said, “I have won trophies in everything. I am the best at everything, and soon I’m going to be fourth time bubble gum champion! I think I am qualified to touch what I want to!”
Willy sighed as Light pressed the button. It took them to a bright room where more umpalompas worked endlessly.
“What is this?” Light asked looking around.
“It is where we make new kinds of candy,” Willy answered.
“I want to try some!” Light said grabbing up a piece of wrapped gum on the table. He took out his other piece of gum and began to chew the new piece.
“Little boy….we haven’t worked the kinks out of that yet….” Willy started, “It is called meal gum. You get a full course meal in one piece of gum, but you really shouldn’t….”
“My son is the first one to try meal gum!” Light’s mom said happily.
“Wow the first course!” Light said, “It’s pizza! And now the second Mmmmm it’s sweet lobster on rye….”
“You really need to spit that out now,” Willy said.
“And mmmm the desert! It’s blueberry pie!” Light said smiling.
Suddenly Light became very blue….
“What is happening?” Light asked fear in his voice. He began to grow huge and round.
“I told you I haven’t worked the kinks out. Now you are stuck as a blueberry,” Willy nearly laughed.
“Ahhhh!” Light screamed. His mom burst into tears.
“No matter no matter we will just juice all that juice out of him in the juicer,” Willy said pointing another umpalompa to take them away.
Now only three…Misa, Matt, and L…..
They walked back to the elevator and Matt turned the sound up on his video game. Willy looked annoyed.
“Why don’t you choose the next room?” Willy asked.
“I don’t want to,” Matt said, “I’ve almost finished this game, and I never wanted to be here anyway.”
Willy looked spited and pushed a button. The elevator moved up, down, left, and the right. The room they came to next was large and white. Matt looked up from his game.
“I made this for the gamers like yourself,” Willy said meaning Matt, “You can get chocolate bars while you are playing. It makes chocolate appear on T.V.s”
Matt looked up from his game. There was a large chocolate bar. A lever was switched. Suddenly a light exploded and the bar was gone. Willy ran to a T.V. and changed the channel. There was the chocolate bar.
“Take it,” Willy said.
“I don’t like chocolate,” Matt said.
“Chicken, ok you take it,” Willy said nodding at L. L reached into the T.V. and pulled out the chocolate. Matt was astounded.
“Do you know what you made?” Matt asked, “You made a matter transferor! I can actually play physical games with this!”
“Um….welll…” Willy said.
Matt was sold and ran to the area where the chocolate bar had been. He flipped the switch and got inside. Matt suddenly appeared on the T.V. very small.
“It worked!” Misa said putting her hands over her mouth.
“But now he’s stuck small,” Roger’s wife said fearfully.
“Don’t worry, we can get him to the taffy stretcher and he’ll be good as new!” Willy said leading them off with another of his small friends.
Now only Misa and L remained.
“Shall we proceed?” Willy asked.
They returned to the elevator, and Misa jumped up excitedly.
“Misa next! Misa next! I want this button!” Misa said pushing a button before Willy could say anything.
They came to a room with squirrels cracking nuts and throwing those that they didn’t like down to the trash. Misa stared intently.
“Daddy I want one of those!” Misa said pointing to the squirrels.
“I will see if Mr. Wonka what to sell us one baby,” Misa’s father said, “How much do you want for them?” he asked Willy.
“Oh they aren’t for sale. They crack all my nuts and test them to make sure they are good nuts,” Willy said backing up.
“Daddy! I want one!” Misa said again pulling on her father’s jacket.
“I’m sorry honey, but Mr. Wonka said they aren’t for sale,” Misa’s father said.
“FINE I’ll get one myself,” Misa said lunging over the barriers and right up to one of the squirrels. They all attacked her and knocked on her head.
“I think they think she is a bad nut,” Willy said.
The squirrels picked her up and threw her down the trash hole. Misa’s father was also pushed in. Now all that was left was L.
“So you are the last one!” Willy said, “Congratulation! You now get you prize of this factory little boy!”
“But I’m a teenager….” L started.
Willy looked frustrated and finally sighed.
“Then you can’t have the factory…good-bye,” he said shoving L and Watari out of the factory.
THE END!
