Pierce -
"You're...lonely." Hanatsuki finally articulated.
Had today been any other day, and I would've grinned and laughed it off. I thought about trying it, but then actually thought about it.
Ha, ha, ha--No. That wouldn't work.
I sighed, "Not lonely, per-say. More..." I thought for a minute, then sighed, "Alone, is a better word. It's not that I resent being alone or yearn for contact, as being lonely would imply...It's more that I accept that friendship and contact is beyond me, but wallow in self pity at that realization because I'm a cow and wallowing is about all we can do." I stuck my tongue out, but without real emotion.
Hanatsuki gave me 'the look'. Yeah, you know, that look that people give you when they want to tell you 'So, I was right the first time, you just don't like to admit it' but they don't say anything so that it adds to the, 'Are you kidding me' affect.
I shrugged, "Okay, I'm lonely." I admitted. "I...just need more time to sort out my thoughts, and then I'll be back to the God of Deceit like I usually am. Why is it bothering you, Hanatsuki?" I asked, leaning my back against the ugly beige walls.
Hanatsuki sighed, "Call me Hana, not Hanatsuki. And--"
"Really? Ya don't say...I think I sort of prefer Hanatsuki, myself; a hint of grace and majesty, not too feminine, quite becoming--I'd say most people envy a name like yours..." I had been looking at the drab, old ceiling, and when I looked down, I was greeted with an exhausted glare.
"Ah...Sorry, back to what you were saying, please." I'd wanna be named Hanatsuki if I were a girl...I pouted mentally, upset that changing subjects hadn't quite worked.
Hanatsuki sighed, "Whatever...I'm just saying, the group is here for you. We're all gather for a reason: we want to find Harmony. We want to be free of judgment, and we all want to be happy, I suppose...Isn't that what everyone wants out of life?" she asked me, her eyes insisting. "If you keep running away from it, you'll never reach happiness." was the girl's bottom line. She looked at me seriously. "We're not going to get mad if you try to reach out to us, you know. We don't bite...much." She gave a toothy grin.
I felt uncomfortable that this girl saw through my act. It's not that I felt weak--cause I always felt weak. It came with being the bottom of the food chain--It was more like...It was different for anyone to care about me.
I bit my lip and frowned. It seemed like almost everyone cared in this strangely close group.
I felt exposed, like everyone could see my soul, and it was awkward. Not unpleasant, just...awkward.
I sighed, moving from against the wall to the door. "Yeah...I guess you're right." I looked back at Hanatsuki and smiled a little, "Thanks, Hana." I emphasized her name and stuck my tongue out again. I opened the door and started to walk away.
"Wait, where are you going now?" Hana asked calling down the hall.
"To think." I lifted my hand and waved without turning around. "You've just made me rethink my entire stance on life with you guys--I need to sort it out."
I heard her huff out a sigh, but could hear the smile in her voice, "Fine...Good luck with that, then." I listened as her footsteps faded into the hall. Off to find her companion, Fai, I suppose.
I smiled a little. Good for her. Then mused for a minute as I realized that I may have created what could grow into friendship with that girl.
Weird...First Ice, now Hana. I doubted I'd have any friends, really. It's a wonder I'd earned two...
I sighed. I could talk to the group...Wow. I could talk to the group, couldn't I? It never occurred to me, I guess.
The group was made of people.
People who didn't hate me.
People who I could be friends with.
Gods, that threw my thought process for a loop.
I was about to continue my musings when I ran into a slight, recognizable figure, earning me a soft yelp.
I jumped back immediately and grabbed her arm gently to steady her before she could fall. Thank the Gods for my reflexes.
"I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking at all! Are you alright?" I blurted out quickly, my voice concerned. I was so used to running into people, it made me jumpy.
Abby looked a bit confused, but smiled slightly, "Yeah, I'm fine, Pierce. Don't worry about it."
I realized I was still holding her arm and let go, "Sorry. Reflex." I explained. I grinned at her, "Seems like I always run into you when I'm lost in thought, only this time, it was a bit literal." I made a peace sign.
She smiled back warmly, "Hee...Yeah, I guess your right." she giggled quietly.
I grinned, enjoying her company, "Why are you wandering around?" I knitted my eyebrows together, "Aren't you gonna check out your room?" I asked, seeing as though everyone else seemed preoccupied doing something or another.
Abby seemed a little flustered for a minute, and laughed nervously, "I'm just exploring this place. It's really big." She explained.
I looked her up and down. She looked really...soft. Like, warm and welcoming. I hummed, it was odd...I had always thought of birds as cold, mean, and distant, but this girl was really...not any of that. She was more cute than anything, and she was far from mean.
I studied her face for a moment, "Hm...Are you okay, Abby? Your face is a little red. You don't have a fever, do you?" I asked, a little horrified as I realized that when she was helping me in the snow she could have gotten sick. Ugh! I was so stupid.
Abby raised her hands, blushing a little, "N-No! I'm okay...I'm fine, Pierce." she smiled.
"Well..." I sighed, a little unsure, "If you say so...I'm sorry if you do get sick though. You didn't have to help me in the snow." I apologized.
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I type so slow! DX
I hope I got Abby and Hana right!
Yay for Pierce's epiphanies! He's finally learning! XD
