A Long Night's Dream

The theater was nearly empty, except for one string of rooms. The Batman string. Tickets were almost impossible to get at this time of night. Then there were all the people dressed like Batman and the Joker. Weird stuff.

Anyway, Eddie and Christine handed in their tickets and walked to the far end of the theater where Wall-E was showing. The room was still lit. Cheesy ads flashed by on the screen. Apparently Brad Pitt dressed as a giant chicken while working for El Pollo Loco before becoming a movie star. Who knew?

Eddie and Christine sat in the back of the theater, right under the projector. Soon, the lights dimmed and a steady stream of previews filled the screen. Nobody remembered them afterward; explosions, babes and random sarcasm kind of blend together after a while.

The movie started. Nobody spoke, either in the theater or the movie. Eddie fidgeted in his seat and leaned over to Christine.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked. "Why isn't anyone talking?"

"I don't know," Christine said, staring straight ahead at the screen. "Would you do me a favor and follow their lead?"

Eddie tightened his grip on the armrest, then relaxed it after a few moments. He stared at Christine for a few seconds. The stray light from the projector reflected in his eyes; there was a crazed flash for a second, and then they became blank. He turned forward and watched the movie.

The movie went along. Eddie shifted in his seat again. It seemed like he didn't know what to do. He kept looking at Christine as if he expected her to do something, like lean over and kiss him. The things some people will do for $50.

Christine didn't pay him any mind, though. She just watched the movie. Her eyes were focused completely on the screen, very laserlike. Kind of eerie. If little Wall-E had seen the way Christine was looking at him, he would have babbled like a stool pigeon with his nuts in the screws. Maybe. Something like that.

Eddie's hand moved very slightly, then shot back to the armrest. He mumbled, "What the hell am I doing?" and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Christine asked. "The movie is still going, if you hadn't noticed."

"I'm going to the bathroom," Eddie said. "If you don't mind, your majesty."

"You could have done that before we came here," Christine said, turning her head back toward the screen. "Go do what you must."

"I don't need your permission," Eddie spat. He marched past Christine and went down the steps and outside the screening room. A few groups of people were exiting their movies, and there was still a long line for the Dark Knight rooms. Arcade games flashed with epileptic lights, begging passers by to part with their quarters. Not a good game in the bunch. It's sad. Arcades have really taken a dive over the past 10 years.

Eddie went into the bathroom. It was clean and well-ordered, with a hint of cherry in the air. The stalls were filled, and the only available urinal was between a drunken teen with his hand slapped against the wall and his head an inch from the porcelain, and a man who was singing loudly to himself and swaying from side to side while doing the deed.

Eddie waited.

"God, what am I doing?" Eddie said. "He's not even going to see me. I don't even need to do anything; I just have to let her do what she wants, and I'll get that $50 easy. Yeah. Shit, I'll show her a night she can't complain about. Then that big fuck'll have no choice but to cough up, the bastard."

The urinals cleared up, and Eddie did his thing. He let his head fall toward the wall and hit it.

"Why did I agree to this?" Eddie said. "I hate her guts. She's been so God damn difficult since the night started. I'm takin' her out, so I should choose what we're seeing! Who the hell does she think she is, anyway, bossin' me around so damn much?"

Eddie flushed and washed his hands at the sink. He stood at the automatic dryer for a couple of minutes while it stopped and started in spurts. It probably felt good for him to have clean hands for once.

He left the bathroom and went back to the screening room. It was easy to see Eddie had no idea what was going on onscreen, which was consistent with how he watched the movie before his bathroom break. He is all about consistency, that one.

Eddie brushed past Christine, taking a bit more time than needed to knock her legs with his feet, and sat down. Christine ignored him; to her, there might as well have been nobody else in the room. It was just her and little ol' Wall-E.

Before long, the credits rolled. Christine joined the audience in a rowdy round of applause, while Eddie mustered the energy to sit up rather than slump in his seat. The lights came back to life. Eddie and Christine walked through a swamp of random splashes of soda, half-melted candy bars and drizzlings of popcorn during their journey to the exit.