There's No Chance For Me

You know you’re obsessed with Hetalia…

[ ] When you wonder why the polar bear at the zoo isn’t talking to you

[x] When your teacher questions you when you constantly squeal during History class.

[x] When you scream “Happy Birthday Alfred” and/or “Take that Arthur” on the Fourth of July in a large crowd of people and are proud when they give you the WTF look.

[x] When you know what Sealand is and people find you weird for telling them he’s a little kid in a blue sailor suit that was for sale on eBay.

[x] When you laugh if a country’s “vital regions” are discussed in the news/media

[ ] When you question why only a few countries use Japanese as the foremost language

[x] When in a conversation about APH, you specifically use both country and human names to confuse the people around you

[x] When you ask, no, COMMAND people to become one with mother Russia and laugh hysterically when they look confused, telling them “everyone eventually becomes one with Russia” before walking away.

[ ] When you walk into a Hello Kitty store and ask where the Shinatty-Chan merchandise is [I SHOULD DO THAT! Nah, I’d prolly melt from all the girly pink and white crap.]

[x] When you take time out of your day to look up country relationships on Wikipedia

[ ] When you begin to notice all the jokes about China

[ ] When you try to make your own “idiot hair” and use two bottles of hair gel in the process.. [HAHAHA! My hair defies gravity as it is so it only takes a little hairspray for me!♥]

[x] When the Great Depression all of a sudden seem hilarious. “Your ass is MINE, America!”

[x] When you correct someone talking about a new discovery of some kind, telling them “Korea already invented that” [I’ve confused a couple of people this way actually. XD]

[x] When you have to remind people that Hong Kong is NOT the capital of China [Stupid Americans and their lack of knowledge!]

[X] When you explain that when the aliens attack, the first to go will be the British [Gotta love Tony~♥]

[x] When you’re grade in Geography suddenly shoots up [I had wonderful grades in Geography anyways, but I definitely remember where everything is now ~]

[ ] When others ask you what you mean by “England is so cute when he’s Tsundere” [OH GAWD NO!! NOOOOO!! We like our Iggy to be evil and manly and SEME!]

[X] When you find yourself thinking of the best conversation you’ve ever heard:
o Italy: France nii-san, what is intercourse?
o France: Don’t you know, Ita-chan? It’s what you do with someone you like. So…do you like me?

[] When you correct your history teacher, telling them that the pact of steal between Germany and Italy was actually a pinky swear

[x] When seeing the new Harry Potter movie the second time, the only thing you can think of is the infamous spoiler written all over England’s torso [Oh Iggy~♥]

[x] When the contagious verbal tics of the show become a part of your normal day conversations

[x] When you have full-out and vicious debates on what side (the Axis or Allies) would win in a fist fight [With myself too… Oh gawd, I’m so depressing! But seriously! Germany and Japan would put up a hell of a fight… So would America, Russia, and China though. >__>]

[x] When you imagine, when in a state of insane exhilaration or any kind of insanity emotion, you have the same menacing purple aura that often haunts Russia when he’s “happy”

[ ] When you realize you’ve memorized every single version of MaruKaite Chikyuu and sing them regularly [I’m getting there… Still need Lilli’s and Austria’s XD]

[x] When you find yourself scanning through your history textbook to find a good fanfiction topic [I don’t have a text book at home, but I do happen to know how to browse through some on the interwebs~♥]

[x] When you feel yourself tearing-up while discussing the American Revolution [Poor Iggy! *sniffle*]

[ ] When you start learning Japanese just to read the Hetalia website

[x] When you expect the Polish exchange student to be a cross-dressing valley girl [Wait… You mean he *ahem* she isn’t?]

[x] When you download your favorite episodes and watch them compulsively

[x] When you randomly scream “PASTA” and think everyone around you is weird for not getting the joke

[x] When a tomato crate seems like the best hiding place during a war

[ ] When you know the songs “Fat na kare”, “Oyayubi no Tsukaikata”, “Makka na Ito”, “Yokan”, “Gibusu”, “Lion”, “Tetsukazu No Sekai” and “Utsukushii Namae”, have downloaded them onto your itunes and listen to them daily [Oh damn… Something I don’t understand! THE WORLD IS ENDING! D: ]

[x] When “True Italian Spirit” is only another way to say “We Surrender”

[x] When the song “Santa Clause is coming to Town” seems like an odd rip-off of something that was written for Russia

[] When you try to convince your history teacher to play Chibitalia episodes when learning about the Austrian Wars

[x] When, upon looking at your YouTube favorites, you find that APH videos have filled up at least two pages of space [LOL! More like all of the many pages. XD]

[x] When you begin to read all about your favorite country obsessively to learn more about them [TURKEY!!♥♥♥ *goes back to reading*]

[ ] When you start noticing how much you absolutely adore sunflowers

[x] When you realize there’s always someone underneath the cute mascot uniforms

[x] When you discover the joys of the Sexy Waiter outfit [Hehe~♥]

[ ] When you explain to others that condoms are the best weapons in psychological warfare

[X] When others find you odd for talking to the fairies, flying rabbits and unicorns even if they’re the odd ones out for not being able to see them in the first place. [People always thought I was odd for this reason, but it’s a little more now. *grins*]

[x] When you decided to construct your own APH OC and proudly proclaim to the world that you were the one who created Portugal [And he’s damn sexy!]

[ ] When you want your own pink kitty backpack

[x] When “Flower-Egg” seems like the best name for your new puppy [You mean Hanatamgo isn’t the best name for a new puppy? D:]

[ ] When England wearing America’s jacket is probably one of the best things that’s ever happened to you. [Lalalalalalala! *ignores US/UK reference*]

[x] When, upon being scolded by a teacher when caught watching/reading APH in class, you explain that you're merely studying for you History exam [Yeah, not in class, but more at home when I’m supposed to be doing chores and stuff. >__>]

[x] When you watch movies/plays/musicals/etc., place APH characters in the roles and plan you're parody fanfiction of it

[ ] When you try and memorize the "Yakko's World" song just because you can imagine the countries while singing it

[x] When you don't feel like a nerd for knowing so much about history/geography

[x] When you find yourself attracted to bushy eyebrows, even thinking them sexy [Totally only works for Iggy and Hong Kong… Mostly Iggy though~♥]

[x] When, if something big happens in the world, you imagine the countries' reactions

[x] When, upon acting/cosplaying as Italy, you close your eyes and keep them closed to see if you can really function that way, only to realize that you can't [Never actually did this in costume, but yeah, it doesn’t work. LOL]

[x] When you try to plant random bits of Hetalia into your schoolwork, and marvel at the fact that you're the only one that knows what you're talking about

[x] When you wish your grandfather could be as awesome as Rome [YES! I want a sexy grandpa that can paint and sing and wear a cape without anyone questioning his sanity!]

[ ] When the sound of bouncing beach balls is now disturbing to you [Nope, they aren’t disturbing, but they do make me giggle.]

[x] When you use you're favorite/cosplayed country's name in place of your own [I uh… I might’ve put Kiku Honda on a couple of things. >__> ]

[x] When you find the song "Canada's Really Big" or any other references to country's sizes amusingly inappropriate [Oh yeah! Bwhahaha~ Gawd love Matthew!♥]

[x] When Shinatty-chan becomes a frequent doodle on your notebook and you have to explain that it is not hello kitty, but a fat, old guy in a hello kitty imitation outfit [I never actually had to explain it, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen soon. XD]

[x] When you spout random facts about various countries and revel in the fact that no one else knows about them

[x] When you find yourself suddenly a lot more aware of the current world situations because people did fanfictions and fanart about them

[x] When you start laughing at a world map because it's really more than just a placement of countries to you

[x] When you have a French exchange student, and you expect them to be just like France... and are fascinated that, yes they are [“Voyeuristic intentions!” XD]

[x] You spend all day scouring the internet for country relations in a vain attempt to justify your crack pairings [Yeah, I’ve done that a few times.]

[x] When you suddenly take great pleasure in learning about your lineage and relating it to Hetalia characters

[x] When you start assigning your best friends countries and when you get together you call it a "World Conference" [Ha! Gotta love us crazies on YouTube.♥]

[x] When said friends start forming the pairings you support. [Hehehe… Not hard with France molesting everybody. >__>]

[x] When you bribe your friend to say "Aru" at the end of every sentence [I’m working on the bribing part… It seems nobody cares what position they’re in when I take over the world]

[ ] When you know about more countries than your geography teacher

[ ] When you start squealing in geography class

[ ] When in history class you start making what you're learning about into a Hetalia episode in your head

[x] When you obsessively search Hetalia MADs on YouTube and are confident you know most of them by heart

[x] When suddenly the image of America is no longer of Uncle Sam or Lady Liberty in your head. [Yeah, thanks a lot Alfred! Now all I can imagine is you and your damn cheeseburgers! TT-TT]

[x] When you start thinking of the people who represent the nations instead of the places in reality.

[ ] When you see a book in the store called 'Your Erroneous Zones' and automatically touch (or want to touch) your hair. [<__< I’m so glad I don’t have one of those obnoxious hair curls! >__>]

[x] When you're following through with the you know/when #10, find something on Spain before and during WW2, and unconsciously replace 'its' with 'his'

[X] When Charlie the Unicorn is tainted for life, thanks to England [Thank you Iggy~ ♥ hahaha XD]

[ ] When you spend half a day constructing a “You Know you’re Obsessed with Hetalia when…”

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