1. During your lunch break, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hairdryer at passing cars, and see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, put "For smuggling diamonds."
7. End all your sentences in "In accordance with the prophecy."
8 Stop using punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Whenever you go out to eat, order diet water with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems "don't rhyme."
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell friends you can't attend their party because you're "not in the mood."
16. Have co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Bottom."
17. When money comes out the of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot screaming "Run for your lives! They're loose!" Keep count of how many people follow you.
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."
20. Wherever you go, always remember: turn signals are a sign of weakness.
Even if you're not an adult, these are still funny. Repost 'em if you laughed at least twice!
