So I should probably go ahead and post this so everyone can see it.
I don't often talk about it—mostly because it's my own problem and I should be able to deal with it myself—but over the past three years I have begun developing a very strong lazy streak, and alongside that somewhat of a passive rebellious attitude that I only even halfway recognised.
So because I was acting this way, I basically stopped performing in school. In high school, and in the first year and a half of college, I was a consistent A student. GPA was generally 3.78-ish, so I did have the occasional B, but I got my stuff done.
Now, two years and five semesters and one major switch later, my GPA is a 2.47 that I am lucky to have. Really, it's only because I have several high-credit As worth a good deal of my GPA that I'm not below 2, because I really should be, with the way I've been sloughing off a lot of classes.
And it's not even consistent, because I can obviously get my butt in gear to get to Advanced Mathematics consistently, and tried not to miss many Thermo classes (although I missed a good deal more than I should have). I can perform. And the material isn't too complex for me; I understand everything provided I'm there to learn it.
I'm just not disciplining myself to be there, or to do my work, or whatever.
The past three semesters (Spring and Fall '10 and this spring, which I used to look for work) I tried to solve this myself. The problem is, when you're trying to stop being lazy, it's really easy to be lazy about stopping being lazy, and obviously that just perpetuates. And this means I'm too lazy to stop being lazy.
That bothers me.
I'm doing piss-all in school, even in subjects I enjoy; I'm 'looking for work' almost in name only, because although I can honestly claim I've gone around, got applications, and turned them in, I've never really done any good followup since the spring semester started; and as a result I'm getting up way too late and staying up way too late.
That really bothers me.
So I've decided to change my approach. I'm going to join the Navy.
This is only partway a sudden decision. Honestly, I've been thinking on and off about enlisting for several years. I almost enlisted before starting college, right out of high school, but I made the same foolish type of decision that I made when I entered the MuEd program, so that was no help. I didn't enlist in the middle of college because I thought "well, I'll just finish my degree and then enlist", so pleh.
But I'm doing it now.
Before everyone (who hasn't already) goes GASP AND SHOCK AND ALARM, I won't be leaving immediately. The deal is, I call the recruiter back Monday to confirm things, she sets up an appointment for me to go take the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) and get a physical the next morning ... at 4:30 am. After that, I review career options with a person, sign a contract with the Navy....
...and am then stuck in a holding pattern anywhere from two to eight months. I could ship out for boot camp and BT at any time, I might just spin my wheels for a while. Point is, I'm not vanishing immediately. I'll let you guys know when that happens.
After that, it's an eight year contract with the Navy. They require four years on active duty (six if you go for something with intensive schooling, like nuclear power, which would be COOL), then the remainder of the eight years (whatever that might be) is spent in the Reserves. If you like your Navy career, I imagine you can stay on. If you want to go civilian again, your choice.
What that probably means is that I would no longer be hanging around on the chatroom once I shipped out. Obviously. I won't be gone, really, just a lot less noticeably present. I'm sure I'll have internet access, and I'll definitely keep checking in with people via email and Stalkbook and such. I'll probably get a lot more computer access once I'm off active and in the reserves, but by that point I hope to have established a good discipline routine for myself and won't be on much late-night again. (In fact, I'm going to be trying to stop the late-night-lounger habit right now, since it is quite clearly bad for me.)
I'm not moving on, guys. But I am trying to move on from other things. So I imagine there might be some growing pains in this area. Just remember, whenever I leave, I'll be back. I am just as much Allamorph now as I am anyone else, and I can't really ever leave that behind.
Besides, I still have a few projects that will want my attention. Can't very well leave those all to rot, now can I?
I'll try to update with relevant information as I get it.
