Loneliness And Depression

You have an empty feeling that comes from within
You long to share your feelings but no one will listen
You reach out for open arms, but nobody is there
Your tears fall to the ground, but nobody cares
You pick up the phone, but have no one to call
You feel overwhelmed; your mind is a crawl
You lay in your bed in the light of the moon
Just so you don't see those who aren't there for you
The flames spark inside you and heat up your fear
Your thoughts are suicidal, your days are so drear
Emotional fires burn up in your head
Fires of love and pain and regret
Consumed in your own darkness, you slowly fade away
Your once blue and sunny sky has turned to clouds of gray

©Rebekah Johnson,12 May 2008

SPM

okay i know that it's rap and a lot of you guys don't like rap. But the lyrics are so true. I remember when i had to watch a loved one go through this...So just...give it a shot okay?please? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v70u4-M6Q6s&feature=related

{Chorus}
She don't know why
But all she knows
is that her youngest child
is a real gangsta now
you see...

[Verse 1]
He was a good kid all through elementary
A's and B's and had no enemies
But he saw all the G's as he walked home
he couldn't read all the words on the walls though
So many letters crossed out with X's
He wondered he knew not to ask those questions
No pops, and his mom worked through the nail
She managed to buy him some shoes on sale
She didn't know, she bought the wrong color
And they stayed in the closet all summer
Even though the kid wasn't affiliated
He knew what they liked, he knew what they hated
Now he's in Middle School, same individual
But this is where things seem to get a bit difficult
This is the life of a young Mexican
First verse done take me to the second one

[Chorus] - 2X

[Verse 2]
6th grade, why so much homework
Got a pot pie sitting in the stove burnt
Momma still ain't back from her job yet
So he eats it cause that's all he got left
Then he plays with his little puppy Cinnamon
His last dog was a victim of a hit n run
There's a knock on his door it's his homeboy
Your mom's gone? He pulls out a chrome toy
Where'd you get that from? The kid asked
We broke into a house we got a bunch of shit stashed
It was the first time he ever held a real gun
To get one of these you gotta steal one
We too young they won't let us buy a gat
Now if they shoot at us we can fiya back
Who is they and why would they blast at me?
Cause you from the hood fool, this is family

[Chorus] - 2X

A year passes now the kids Dickies sag
In his pocket got a knife and a nickel bag
And the homeboy that showed him his first gun
Got killed last week in a burban
Putting work in 45 jerkin'
Lucky shot hit, popped like a virgin
Closed casket touched as he strolled past it
Got his name tattooed on two a hoes asses
So he'll still be remembered often while
His little bitch gettin' hit doggy style
It ain't stoppin' now while his moms' on the ground
On her knees yelling "Please Lord not my child
I want to watch him smile
He can turn his Pac up loud
He can sleep with his pitbull on the couch"
And while the kid is listening to her words
All he can think about is bloody, bloody murders

[Chorus] - 2X
A poem~~I I need to say goodbye although you're with me.
I stand beside your grave, yet you are here.
I miss you terribly and hope you miss me,
But when i turn to you, you're always near.
I talk to you as though you lived within me,
Not changed but simply moved in from outside.
I know each day you must a little leave me,
But here, as always, you must be my guide.
You were and are and will be, just as ever,
In many minds and hearts, not only mine.

{break}

The cold winds were like needles stabbing through my clothes. God if i knew it was going ot be this cold, i wouldn't have stayed out herei grumbled as i stared at my stiffed up hands.Well the text from Ruby said to meet her here at 7:00...it was now 9:30 and pretty dark.Wr

oh.

Oh my goodness, my heart is going to burst from my chest,resonating so loud that i get frightened that the entire world will hear~ Blood rushes into my palms, adrenaline courses though out my feeble veins. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out.Sandpaper scratches the inside of my throat, biting my neck~Blood grinds down my throat it tastes so sweet,even though i know that it shouldn't~~

...

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

it doesn't jet me finsh my posts!!

OKAY! egh!!
IM TALKING TO ERIK!!!!!!