Something Your Dog Won't Eat

Bad fanfic time!
I don't know about you but I don't know how bad I can actually go with this...
This is a really crack-filled dream I had a while back
It's very contridicting which I don't like about it
I don't know what even possessed my mind to have a dream like this but yeah...
If you throw up or click out of this before you're even done...
I really don't blame you but this is supposed to be bad
I hope you hate it...
Because I sure do...


Once there was a really popular hated girl named Nora. She had long rainbow natural colored hair and her eyes changed color depending on her mood. They were mostly gray because she was bored with everything. She was friends with a skeleton named Frank that went to her school. He was the grim reaper's son and he could kill anyone he wanted by just looking at them. Nora however wasn't affected by his abilities since his father had killed her parents and they cast a spell to where Nora was immune to anything and she couldn't die no matter what.

Nora didn't have many friends even though she was popular because she was liked too much by a ton of people and the teachers which made people hate her. She didn't seem to care much about it though. Her eyes didn't really change from the norm anyway. Frank even secretly resented her because he would turn to dust and she'd be still living while he'd be even more dead than he is now.

Anyway, out of nowhere the teacher told them that everyone in class was going on a feildtrip to a tangerine farm/forest/jungle. Nora was excited to go and so was Frank despite hating to go. Frank decided to bring his pet scorpion Zain with him for no particular reason when they went on the trip. But there were only ten people there including them, the teacher, and the limo driver.

Zain didn't like it on the bus and used heat-ray vision to melt through the jar he was in. Once he was out of the plastic bottle, he melted his way through the bus once it teleported to the tangerine farm through magic. once Zain melted his way through the car, he went over, for no apparent reason and found a random Pikachu and Cyndaquil eating some of the tangerines. Zain hated pokemon and tangerines so he stung both the pokemon and ran off, to get run over by a hover car that had teleported there from the future, only to leave to go into the past and screw it up some more.

Zain's sting didn't kill the pokemon though. The pokemon actually grew a little like they were on steroids or something and them mutated into zombies with longer hair and clothes that just grew on them. These zombies were pokemon though, so they were fast and had more abilities. They couldn't eat flesh though... Since pokemon are pokemon they hate eating flesh because it's too fleshy... They will bite though. Once they bit you, you'd become a hobo and have no friends and get tazered by the police til you died... or had a seisure... whatever came first.

Anyway, the other people that no one seems to care about along with Nora and Frank were looking at the jungle that is the tangerine and mango and orange forest. Nora hated most of the plants so she blew them up. Then a scientist fell from a tree he was climbing. Surprisingly he didn't die when he fell at like a 100 foot tall tree, I mean seriously, any normal person would die if they fell from that height... then again the n00bs in this story aren't what you'd characterize as normal so... yeah...

Wait where was I?... something about a guy falling out of a tree right? Oh yeah, well he muttered something about the last tangerine tree in the farm, had a heart attack and died because Nora had used her deathnote so he would die because she's getting as tired as this story as I am. "Shut up and get this story over with!"

How about you shut your face?

"What?! you don't talk that way to me!"

I am the creator of this crack story! I can do anything I want!

"Like what?"

Well, I just turned you into a pile of dung

"... I hate you"

I know... now apologize and you can go back to normal

"I'd sooner fall in love with a donkey"

... I'll think about that later...


Do you want to go back to normal or what?

"I want this story to end"

So do I but it ain't going to end any time soon with you arguing. Apologize.


Do you want to story to end?


Then apologize and I'll skip to the end.

"... Fine, I'm sorry"

Was that so hard?


All right... so Nora, the now not normal girl that is no longer a pile of dung, and Frank... well the un-undead body of Frank since he committed suicide because Nora kept talking and he found out Zain was killed... I forget my point... well, all or them and Frank and Nora, who were talking on the bus while everyone was scraming about the bus being chased by a zombie Cyndaquil, while a Pikachu was on the roof of the vehicle... I forget what it was since it changed so much and I could really care about the description. Just know a psycho-murdurous-zombie-steroid pokemon is chewing through the roof while everyone else is freaking out while Nora and Frank just don't even care about the trip anymore.

Anyway, a tree knocked the zombie pikachu off the bus, but the zombie started levitating and evolved into an Iwok, or however they're spelled, for no reason. I don't know, I'm just saying the crack that happened. But for some weird reason, the zombies spotted the tangerine tree and stopped attacking the bus. They went over and started eating the fruit again and the bus stopped for no apparent reason. And all the kids came out of the bus to watch the creatures that just tried to kill them eat the fruit.

"I don't get it..." Nora said to Frank, "What is it with them and the tangerines?"

"Tangerines are delicate and need to be respected..." Frank replied, "they calm the nerves...

"I still don't get it," she told him.

"I love you," he said out of nowhere.

Nora looked at him and then killed him again with her deathnote. "Shut up... I don't like you. I'm in love with that donkey over there."

The donkey looked at her oddly as she walked over and hugged it, then skipping off into the sunset with the poor creature... luckily for the donkey, it got a hold of her deathnote and made her get run over by a train. But the earth ended up exploding because God hated this story as much as I did. The End

*the writer of this story was later found murdered because of this horrible abomination. Police didn't bother searching for the murderer due to the fact they were now considered a hero for not letting this story get out on the shelves like how Twilight had*