Top Ten: Insane Otaku The Mask

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: This Top Ten list was originally posted on April 2, 2006 in theOtaku's articles. This was back when Gundam Seed and Fullmetal Alchemist were the most popular anime series around, Bleach was now beginning to emerge as a hit anime series, and Death Note mania wasn't as widespread as it is now.)

Today's category:
TOP 10 SIGNS THAT AN OTAKU IS GOING INSANE

NUMBER 10: When a girl uppercuts him, he suddenly jumps from the ground and tries to fly as if gravity never existed.

NUMBER 9: He develops a fear of hugs from women because he believes it will turn him into a seahorse.

NUMBER 8: When he looks at people, he sees their eyes are bigger than normal size.

NUMBER 7: When someone asks him to buy some bleach from a supermarket, he comes back bringing with him a manga book having a drawing of an orange-haired anime bishounen.

NUMBER 6: Instead of running away from a bunch of thugs who plan to mob him, he faces them with great courage. But then he gets beaten to a pulp after several unsuccessful attempts at performing the Kage Bunshin technique.

NUMBER 5: He tries to perform some alchemy techniques so that he can turn a ream of paper into the latest Fullmetal Alchemist manga volume.

NUMBER 4: Ask him who Hayao Miyazaki is and he'll give you a very detailed answer. Ask him who George Bush is and his mind goes blank.

NUMBER 3: He fears that the woman he is sleeping with was actually a female born decades before he was born and had just awakened from sleep after her body has underwent cryogenic freezing.

NUMBER 2: He plots a suicide attack on the headquarters of 4Kids Entertainment.

AND THE NUMBER 1 SIGN THAT AN OTAKU IS GOING INSANE:
He argues to his English teacher that the true definition of "freedom" is not "the state of being free" but is actually "a prototype assault mobile suit powered with an ultra-compact nuclear fission reactor, sensors, and phase-shift armors, and is equipped with a neutron-jammer canceller that gives almost unlimited power and energy. (You know what I mean.)

Author
The Mask
Date Published
08/07/08 (Originally Created: 08/07/08)
World
The Mask's Cafe
Category
Crossover Anime and Manga Fan Words
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