Truancy

“This is embarrassing,” Franky whined quietly. He fidgeted uncomfortably in his place, uneasy by the formality of not only his surroundings, but his dress as well.

“We’ve been through worse,” Robin said blankly. “Just be lucky that this island is not affiliated with the World Government, otherwise this would be at least thrice as difficult.”

“You just made that word up.”

“Did not.”

“Well, why can’t Sanji and Nami do this? Maybe even you and Zoro!”

“We went over this before: you and I are the only ones old enough to do this,” the archaeologist sighed. “Besides, Sanji’s off to the animal shelter for Chopper and I highly doubt that Zoro would cooperate.”

“Okay… but does this have to involve me wearing pants?”

“Yes.”

“Damn.”

“Ma’am?” interrupted a voice. Franky and Robin both looked up at the woman sitting across from them. Even though she sat behind a large, cherry-wood desk, her prim and proper air made it seem as if she were looming over the two pirates intently. “Is everything alright over there?”

“Just fine,” Robin replied with a smile. She handed the clipboard over to Franky, showed him where to sign and passed the paperwork back towards the woman behind the desk, who immediately went to examining the historian’s blatant lie.

“Very good,” she said, nodding approvingly. “You both seem to have the perfect credentials for the truant individuals you have chosen. I believe you should really be able to keep those delinquents in line. I’ll go fetch them while you two wait here.” With that, the woman stood up and fluttered out of the room, taking the papers with her.

“What did you write on there!?” Franky asked once he was sure the woman was out of an earshot. “I didn’t even have time to look at anything! What did you write down?”

“That I was a police officer and you are a personal trainer,” Robin replied. “We have to sound like we’re ready to knock some sense into the trouble-making children we’re ‘taking in’.”

“Why do bad things have to happen to me whenever I wear pants!?” the blue-haired shipwright cried to the ceiling. Just then, the woman who had run off with the paperwork returned, painfully dragging behind her two scraggly teenagers by their ears.

“Meet your new parents,” the woman huffed, tossing the boys at Franky and Robin. “You little hooligans better be thankful that they’re taking you in, otherwise you have no idea what kind of hell we’d put you through for all of the trouble you caused!”

“It was only one string of firecrackers,” the straw-hatted teen whined.

“...that you so happened to attach to Chopper’s antlers in the middle of the market,” the long-nosed boy whined as he rubbed his sore ear.

“Just come with us, dears,” Robin smiled, applying her kindest tone possible as she put a hand on each of the teen boys’ shoulders. “My husband and I will make sure that your new home will be a very happy, productive and trouble-free one.” She then led Usopp and Luffy out of the office and was followed close behind by Franky, who really wished she would quit using the term “husband” when he had yet to even make any sort of romantic advancement on her.

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“So, I wonder when the others are coming back,” Zoro yawned as he stretched himself out on the grassy deck of the Sunny-go. It had been his job to guard the ship this time in port, so he really was unsure of all the commotion that had gone on within the past week the rest of the crew was in town waiting for the Log Pose to set.

“All I know is that I am never talking to those bastards ever again!” Chopper snapped angrily. Sanji then came over and began to wrap the poor reindeer’s head in fresh bandages, being as it was one of the few things the doctor was unable to do for his own injuries.

“Come on,” the blond sighed. “I’m sure Luffy didn’t mean anything too bad by it.” He took a renewed inhale of his cigarette and sighed. “The guy’s just a little... well... off...”

“Yeah, but...”

“Hey guys, guess who’s baaaack,” Nami said in a sing-song voice from over by the railing. She smiled slyly as the remaining four crew members came trudging down the wharf and boarded the ship. Zoro, Chopper and Sanji raised their eyebrows slightly at Luffy and Usopp eating some soft-serve ice cream and Franky unoccupying his pants almost as soon as his feet touched the grass.

“Now, what do you say?” Robin asked before the sniper and captain left, sprouting some hands from the ground and holding onto their ankles so that they would not abandon her smirking expression.

“Thanks for the ice cream!” Luffy said with a grin. Robin gave them a disappointed look and tapped her foot expectantly. Usopp groaned and rolled her eyes.

“Do we have to?”

“Yes,” Robin replied. Usopp cursed under his breath and wished himself someplace else. When that failed, he gave in, for there was no escaping the inevitable.

“Thanks for the ice cream, Mom,” he grumbled. Robin nodded out of satisfaction and let them go. Not too far off, Usopp could hear the roar of laughter coming from Zoro and Sanji on the other side of the ship. The two men had not mutually enjoyed that large of a laugh since Zoro gave Sanji Nami’s diary and tricked the blond into reading it, claiming the book belonged to Usopp.

That trip was the last time the sniper ever allowed himself to go fireworks shopping with Luffy, ever.