Watashi ni Otanjoubi Omedetou...ne? [EDIT]

Yep, it's my birthday.

I hit the big 22 today.

First of all, a big thank you to all of you who sent me a gift and/or signed my portfolio. I'm thrilled that people remember me.

But, your wishes were wasted. Today was a repeat of the last five days for me.

See, life, itself, is going wonderfully! My grades are high, my friends are all happy and anxious to see me, my parents are progressing nicely in our home renovations, and dad is ready to move to Wisconsin next week.

But... my b/f is souring everything.

Last Friday, he'd had a pretty bad to begin with. I guess I'd promised him I'd come see him that morning, but never showed up? Thing is, I don't remember even making plans to go see him, and he skipped a class in the hopes that I would visit. So, that put him off and I felt guilty for it. So, after school, I went to his house to hang out and his mother came home, yelling at him for no good reasons other than that she was jumping to assumptions and conclusions about his Financial Aid. She got worked up over nothing, but was just... a real bitch to him about nothing. That had him in bad spirits, so that put ME in bad spirits and killed what sex drive I had left. So, when he pushed for some, I refused to give him any, and he's been grouchy ever since.

Sunday, he came over to deliver some birthday presents.
First of all, his mother expected ME to drive to HIS HOUSE for my birthday. Um... no. He never visits me. It's always me going over there. I thought he should come see me, and he did.
However, I had to run a friend home, since they'd stayed over the night before, and we had to cut our time short. So, the b/f did his little "look put off and put Yosei on a guilt trip" thing and left. But, before that, he insulted my sister and incurred my mother's wrath. Just left with a big stink, yeah?
I talked to him about it last night, and all he did was say, "Fine, I shall censor myself, even though you know it's hard for me."
I don't want him to lie or change for me. I just want him to THINK about what he's gonna say before he says it. Y'know, "If you're gonna say something mean, hold your tongue."

Anyway, he basically told me he'd been cranky at me because he felt that he didn't get me alone often enough since school's started. And, that makes sense, but... our schedules just don't match up. I mean, I'm sorry that I can't go see him, but... at least he gets to see me at all, at school, right? I could just show up later when my classes start. I only show up early to see him anymore.

Today, I thought I'd finally gotten him in a good mood. We'd found a nice secluded area to just sit and hang out, arm in arm, goofing off. He was smiling and almost back to his old self again. But, then I had to go to class. Today, for geography, our first assignment was due, and I'd wanted to be there to see that I did it right.
He wanted me to skip. And, I would have, if it had been another day. The teacher doesn't take role, and EVERYTHING that's covered that day is put up online for all the students to access later that day. I could've made "taking notes" my homework.
But, just today, I wanted to go. And, he wanted me to skip. So, finally, I broke down and said, "Okay. I just need to hand in the assignment, then we can go, alright?"
But, as soon as I gave in, HE gets all angry, "FINE! Go to class!"
I was like, "WTF? You push and push and when I finally give in, THEN you get all hot and shove me away? WHAT GIVES?"
So, I went to class.

But, afterwards, he'd been, like, stalk-waiting for me outside my classroom (He should've been in his class, I dunno if he was let out early or what...), and told me he'd written something to me. So, I was thinking, "Oh, yay! An apology AND a Happy Birthday~!"
But, no, he tells me, "However, I won't give it to you now, since it's your birthday and it would just ruin your day," and was... kinda rude to me about it.

I mean... why tell someone they're gonna ruin your day, then NOT give you said item? THAT ruined my day even worse! Because, now I'm dreading knowing what he wrote...
I'm scared.
I'm anxious.

And, I'm wondering if he's gonna break up with me on my own birthday.

I almost didn't make it through Buddhism class, I wanted to cry so bad. I almost didn't make it home...
Gods, I'm so depressed right now... No one should have to be sad and cry on their birthday... and, yet, I think I might...

So, a heads up.
If I suddenly disappear from here... this is why. I'll be back, I just... I might need some real alone time for a few days...

I feel like I'm being held together with wet tape...

Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me...

~Yosei~

EDIT:
It's not a break-up!!! ;w;
Just some usual couples issues... I jumped to conclusions and my paranoia got the better of me... OTL
*showers in relief*

End