Zaraki, You...!

Zaraki, You...!

This is my entry for the My Perfect Enemy contest. As such, you can expect some rather harsh language and mentions of Sword Transmitted Diseases. Read at your own peril~

Bleach, also known as the uncrappy Naruto, is a manga full of many diverse and useful characters. Whether its the strength seeking protagonist of the strength seeking antagonist, they all have something to add to the story. Well, almost all of them. For among the plot necessary characters lies a completely useless and pointless character. A character that does little more than smile and kill. I talk, of course, of the menacing Zaraki.

From his first appearance in the manga to his most recent, Zaraki has done little more than commit overly forceful acts of vandalism and murder. Worse still, his actions are unbelievably unrealistic. How could he have possibly sliced through a building? How could he have killed Nnoitra with just kendo? Surely something isn't right with this picture. If I had to guess, I would say that he's either juicing up or the whole Bleach universe is made from Nerf.

Who knows, maybe my theory of his steroid use is valid. He's clearly overly aggressive and seems to have nothing more than hair gel stored in his skull. Then again, he could just be a pain junkie. It would explain his love/hate relationship with defense and his consuming grins that only appear when somebody penetrates his body in the none-yaoi way. Who knows, he might just be as stupid as he is ugly. Little is known of this pointless character at this time so a conclusive answer eludes us.

This brings me to yet another flaw of this tyrannosaurus like slaughterer, his lack of history. Every other character has a well established past, even the ones that get killed two chapters after they're first introduced, but for some reason predator X doesn't. What is the point in this? It makes no sense to just have some guy pop up and kill every once in a while when every other valid character can easily do it for a reason. If it did then it would rain sharks. What is the author thinking? Such a pointless action from such a pointless character is surely a symptom of a syphilitic brain.

Finally, I would like to bring up his interaction with the other characters. Or should I say his fight picking with other characters? Because that's all he does, pick pointless fights with characters that have something better to do. If not for him, surely Aizen would have being defeated much sooner than he was. The Soul Society wouldn't have such a big budget deficit from repairs, too.

To conclude, Zaraki seems to be nothing more than a filler character. His sole purpose is to fill in the gaps between plot developments with pointless carnage and mayhem. His relevance to the story seems nonexistent, making his existence a pointless and hollow one. A fate I wouldn't wish on any character, except possibly Sasuke. Sadly their isn't a way to stop his path of destruction, as he exists out of the story's reality. Maybe he'll stay like that forever? Who knows. All I know is that if I could say one thing to him, it would be "Zaraki, you bastard! I hope you get some form of sword herpes so nobody wants to fight with you!"