What a coincidence, I am the exact same way.
Writing about it makes you feel a lot better, y'know. With that being said, you could have a solution in sight.
And that's a big step! And there is nothing wrong with going slow! If that's where both of you are, that's where both of you are. Don't feel pressured because you think you SHOULD do something. As you guys get to know each other better, you'll both feel more comfortable doing things. :)
Prince Hunny Bunny (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 07/25/13 | Reply
@:
Yeah, that's kind of how my boyfriend is, to some extent. He doesn't want to try new things unless he's certain that I'm alright with it. Which is lovely, but like I tell him, unless you make the first move, we're not going to do much. LOL.
He just doesn't want to offend me or scare me. But hey, I'd much rather take it slow and get used to it instead of not really understanding what's going on. x.x
That's true, I would believe. But granted, I haven't had the best experience with therapists where I live. Especially with my gender issues. So hopefully I get someone who knows what the hell they're talking about haha. cx
It's really not so bad, but my mind is always hectic lmao.
Anyway, you're right. I honestly have issues with overthinking EVERYTHING. I'm that kid in class who has to mentally prepare himself for 10 minutes just to say 'here' when the teacher takes attendance, haha.
But yeah. I'm certain that if I express my mind and feelings, that everything will be perfectly fine. The trouble is getting the courage to do so.
Oh yeah, my boyfriend is definitely into the whole teaching me thing. LOL. The first time we kissed was at a renaissance faire with my best friends watching. And it took me literally twenty minutes to gather up the courage to even look at him. Then he started getting nervous. Pfffff.
The thing is that, since I am so anxious and everything, he's kind of afraid to try anything new unless I give him the word. He's afraid that he'll offend me or something. And we both know that I won't make the first move lmao. So I guess that's why we're taking things slow. Which is good and I love it.
But, I did show him mah bodyodyody~ and that was a BIG deal. So I'm happy. c:
I usually say patience is paramount.
(Don't really take this too seriously, I'm socially awkward and for some reason I'm happily so)
If you are afraid of something...Don't play around with it and pressure will only make it worse. Stand your ground and lay down the law with whomever, they should respect your decision.
klfehjlgrkhlgngrLKagbjgwrhgurhuo'g
Omg! I used to be in your situation about sex! My first kiss happened when I was 18, and the whole time leading up to it, I didn't know what I should do. And I had no idea how to french kiss anyone, so I thought my ex was going to be completely turned off by it. But, he coached me through it, and I got better the more often we did it.
And, I didn't much more until Joe. Joe was 29, and I was 21. I had never had sex. You can imagine how self conscious I was. I mean, the guy was 30 and had been engaged. He had had a lot of girlfriends. Had sex a lot. Knew what he liked. And here I was, 21. Still in college, no clue what anything was. But he was patient, taught me. Showed me what to do.
For the first three months, I was so scared to touch him first, I was so shy. So, Joe would take my hand and have to put it where he wanted my hand to be, and I'd just go from there.
I bet your boyfriend will teach you and show you what to do. You shouldn't have anything to worry about. I mean, you're going to worry and whatnot, but it's going to be okay. And your body instinctively knows what to do. I mean, you write about it. You KNOW what to do. It'll be different in the situation, but it won't be as bad as you think.
And with me, Joe thought my innocence was sexy. So it worked. I'm sure it'll be the same for you.
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 07/25/13 | Reply
@cheriblosomchibi:
What a coincidence, I am the exact same way.
Writing about it makes you feel a lot better, y'know. With that being said, you could have a solution in sight.
DemonsandAngels
Beautiful Disaster (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 07/25/13 | Reply
@cheriblosomchibi:
And that's a big step! And there is nothing wrong with going slow! If that's where both of you are, that's where both of you are. Don't feel pressured because you think you SHOULD do something. As you guys get to know each other better, you'll both feel more comfortable doing things. :)
cheriblosomchibi
Prince Hunny Bunny (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 07/25/13 | Reply
@:
Yeah, that's kind of how my boyfriend is, to some extent. He doesn't want to try new things unless he's certain that I'm alright with it. Which is lovely, but like I tell him, unless you make the first move, we're not going to do much. LOL.
He just doesn't want to offend me or scare me. But hey, I'd much rather take it slow and get used to it instead of not really understanding what's going on. x.x
That's true, I would believe. But granted, I haven't had the best experience with therapists where I live. Especially with my gender issues. So hopefully I get someone who knows what the hell they're talking about haha. cx
cheriblosomchibi
Prince Hunny Bunny (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 07/25/13 | Reply
@Kazamas-Keyblade:
It's really not so bad, but my mind is always hectic lmao.
Anyway, you're right. I honestly have issues with overthinking EVERYTHING. I'm that kid in class who has to mentally prepare himself for 10 minutes just to say 'here' when the teacher takes attendance, haha.
But yeah. I'm certain that if I express my mind and feelings, that everything will be perfectly fine. The trouble is getting the courage to do so.
cheriblosomchibi
Prince Hunny Bunny (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 07/25/13 | Reply
@DemonsandAngels:
Oh yeah, my boyfriend is definitely into the whole teaching me thing. LOL. The first time we kissed was at a renaissance faire with my best friends watching. And it took me literally twenty minutes to gather up the courage to even look at him. Then he started getting nervous. Pfffff.
The thing is that, since I am so anxious and everything, he's kind of afraid to try anything new unless I give him the word. He's afraid that he'll offend me or something. And we both know that I won't make the first move lmao. So I guess that's why we're taking things slow. Which is good and I love it.
But, I did show him mah bodyodyody~ and that was a BIG deal. So I'm happy. c:
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 07/23/13 | Reply
Wow, that sounds hectic.
I usually say patience is paramount.
(Don't really take this too seriously, I'm socially awkward and for some reason I'm happily so)
If you are afraid of something...Don't play around with it and pressure will only make it worse. Stand your ground and lay down the law with whomever, they should respect your decision.
DemonsandAngels
Beautiful Disaster (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 07/23/13 | Reply
klfehjlgrkhlgngrLKagbjgwrhgurhuo'g
Omg! I used to be in your situation about sex! My first kiss happened when I was 18, and the whole time leading up to it, I didn't know what I should do. And I had no idea how to french kiss anyone, so I thought my ex was going to be completely turned off by it. But, he coached me through it, and I got better the more often we did it.
And, I didn't much more until Joe. Joe was 29, and I was 21. I had never had sex. You can imagine how self conscious I was. I mean, the guy was 30 and had been engaged. He had had a lot of girlfriends. Had sex a lot. Knew what he liked. And here I was, 21. Still in college, no clue what anything was. But he was patient, taught me. Showed me what to do.
For the first three months, I was so scared to touch him first, I was so shy. So, Joe would take my hand and have to put it where he wanted my hand to be, and I'd just go from there.
I bet your boyfriend will teach you and show you what to do. You shouldn't have anything to worry about. I mean, you're going to worry and whatnot, but it's going to be okay. And your body instinctively knows what to do. I mean, you write about it. You KNOW what to do. It'll be different in the situation, but it won't be as bad as you think.
And with me, Joe thought my innocence was sexy. So it worked. I'm sure it'll be the same for you.