Once upon a time, there was a femme transboy named Lukaiel. He was very insecure, artistic, imaginative and lived in a very un-magical place called Kansas. Someone he once trusted, an evil, ugly witch cast a spell and manipulated the boy into having a romance with razor blades, fire, and self-destruction, and made him hate every inch of himself.
But this all changed when he met his knight in shining armor, Jason. Jason broke the spell with an enchantment called "love". Jason made Lukaiel's grey world flush with color. Along with friends of every kind, Jason brought Lukaiel to a vision of self-love and acceptance for everyone, no matter how different. Lukaiel became a prince.
But the prince is in distress-- his temptation to destroy himself, his doubts, his inner demons. But he, with the hope of loved ones, battles these off even when it appears he is losing the war. He will always find himself victorious with the wonderful people he grew to love on his side.
The prince finds joy in writing, drawing, acting, costuming, designing fashion, listening to music, making odd crafts and jewelry, and reading/watching things. Sometimes he finds himself among faeries, who he believes and finds his faith and ability to cast magic in. Other times, he appears as a fallen angel, a tragic hero. But most times, he's just a submissive and clumsy cat boy who wishes for affection and cuddles. His anxiety disorder cripples him, takes him away from his desire to be around people, and though he values his alone time, he craves company.

Though his life is not spent in a castle, he continues on and loves life. This is his story of romance, acceptance, and finding the beauty in everything.

--dA--facebook--YouTube--tumblr--my knight <3--

"i'll be true... enough"

If you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life. mark the ones you've seen. there are 239 movies on this list. put 'x next to the movies you've seen and add them up. have fun!

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show (IT'S ONLY MY LIFE)
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
Total: 3

(x) The Princess Bride
( ) AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth (crazy movie but david bowie *~*)
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates (made Jason watch this with me xD)
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 8

( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 8

( ) Harry Potter 1
( ) Harry Potter 2
( ) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer (JULIA GULIA)
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch (boyfriend made me watch this ;~; didn't expect to like it!)
Total so far: 12

(x) Finding Nemo (I've even done a scene from this for theatre xD)
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(x) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) Suddenly 30
( ) I, Robot
( ) Robots
Total so far: 15

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
( ) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
Total so far: 15

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving -MAS
( ) Flubber
Total so far: 17

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
( ) From Hell
Total so far: 17

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 19

( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Seven
( ) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Bourne Identity
( ) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
(x) The Fog (stupid movie from what i remember tbh)
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 21

( ) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bron Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine (freaky)
( ) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss's Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 22

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (this movie made me laugh a lot)
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz (I'm from Kansas, what do you think)
(x) Forest Gump (<3)
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
( ) The Terminator
( ) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 25

( ) X-Men
( ) X-2
( ) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 31

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pa
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 31

( ) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring (I need to watch all of these but god they're such long movies x.x)
( ) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
( ) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
( ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 31

( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History
( ) Three
Total so Far: 32

( ) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle (though I hardly remember it)
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters inc.
( ) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 35

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
( ) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
Total so far: 38

( ) Kill Bill vol 1
( ) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 38

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace (I've seen all of these but I literally don't remember them at all lol so I'll just mark one)
( ) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
( ) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
( ) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
( ) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
( ) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 39

( ) The Matrix
( ) The Matrix Reloaded
( ) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
( ) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
Total: 39

damn, only 39. woah


20 Dollar Nosebleed

These are named after monsters!! :D

Vampire: Someone offers you a chance at immortality. Do you take it, and why or why not?
Oh damn this is really hard question. Because I get really sad when I realize that I'm going to die one day. But I wouldn't want to keep living through all my loved ones' deaths, either. I think I would probably refuse the offer.

Werewolf: If you had to spend your life with just one person, who would it be?
I think this is an obvious answer for me lol but my boyfriend, Jason. I also think it's interesting that this is a werewolf question and he's really into werewolves. c:

Witch: If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
I know it's gonna say cheesy, but all the hate in this world really sucks. We, as humans, should support each other. I guess I should say, I'd end war and hate crimes because the world would be a boring place without differing opinions.

Ghost: Do you have any regrets?
Yeah. .w. letting people manipulate me for so long.

Frankenstein: Is someone telling you how to live your life, or are you an independent person?
I'm independent, I think. Or at least as independent as I can be while still living with my parents.

Mummy: If you were to fall into an eternal sleep, do you think anyone would miss you?
I would hope so. ;w;

Zombie: Do you miss anyone right now?
Boyfriend. </3

Faerie: If you could get away with anything, what would you do?
I don't know. O_o I've never had much desire to do anything bad. Kind of a goody-goody over here.

Nymph: What are you like when you’re by yourself?
I'm really quiet. I don't make much noise unless I'm upset (in which case I'm probably crying loudly) or laughing or singing. I tend to just kind of lay around or draw or watch TV or play video games. Not very exciting.

Mermaid: How far would you go to keep the one you love?
If I love them, I'll go to most lengths. Unless they're being ridiculous or manipulative. But for Jason, there isn't much I wouldn't do.

Shapeshifter: What would you change about yourself?
My low-self esteem and anxiety issues.

Banshee: If you knew one of your loved ones/best friends had only one day left to live, how would you spend that last day with them?
:< I'd do whatever they wanted to do with me. Take them everywhere, take lots of photos and make sure they knew that I loved them.

Siren: If you could make anyone do anything, what would you make them do?
Make them be happy. >:3

Genie: If you had one wish that would come true and couldn’t be reversed, what would you ask for?
Uhhh. Probably an endless amount of money xD I would say happiness for my friend and myself but I think happiness is much better when it's earned.

Fury: What is a word/phrase that you dread to hear?
"We need to talk.", "You're being too clingy.", I hate the word "distorted." It gives me gross images. >m<

Incubus: What would someone have to do to get in your pants?
Haha woah. They would have to promise to want a future with me and be loyal and truly love me. I'm too sentimental to just let anyone in my bed. They'd obviously have to be attractive to me and let me know they find me attractive as well lol

Succubus: What’s one thing you can’t live without?
Uhhh my phone, probably. Sounds bad but it's how I keep contact with everyone since I hardly leave my house. It also keeps me busy. Of course I can go without it for a few hours if I have to but I prefer to always have it on me.

This tag was fun, too bad I have boring answers. xD


you could be happy.

haha fuck my life.
this is gonna kind of be a tmi-ish post so be warned.

things really suck for me right now.

so that stomach flu I last posted about? yeah apparently it's much more than that.

i've had diarrhea every single day for like a week straight. i can't leave my house, i can't do literally anything.
I went to Walmart with my mom yesterday and I learned that I apparently can't stand for very long without feeling dizzy and faint. I can't eat anything without getting sicker. I have constant migraines. If I don't eat, I get all dizzy. I can't stay hydrated for anything. God I just can't do ANYTHING.

I have tried EVERYTHING I possibly can to help alleviate my symptoms like going on the BRAT diet, taking medication, getting off my iron pills, everything. Nothing helps.

If it's not gone in another week, I have to go the doctor. Which scares me beyond belief. I have a severe, deep fear of doctors. Anytime I know I have to go to the doctor, I gret stressed out really bad until my appointment. Then I cry the whole time I'm there and having a panic attack is almost inevitable. I just. HATE. doctors. They can be the friendliest person ever and still scare the ever living hell out of me. I just hate them so damn much. Just thinking of them makes me cry and hyperventilate.

And that's /if/ I even can go see a doctor. I'm afraid that this sickness might be a permanent thing and if I don't get some help, I might be royally fucked until I can.

And I keep accidentally making Jason feel bad for being with his friends so much lately but I just miss him a lot and I can't go see him obviously because I'm sick. And he's starting college soon and I'm afraid that he's going to be too busy for me.

He's been really supportive through this and trying to help my fear of doctors and stuff, though. And we've been talking through our problems and our relationship is perfect. I just feel bad for making him feel bad. My anxiety has been really bad lately. He's been the best.

I'm just so damn scared and depressed and tired of being so trapped in this house. I can't deal.

I just want this to go away.


too cuddly for my own good.

Guess who has the flu?

yep. me. -w-

I started feeling really sick last night at like 2am, then I stayed up until 8am throwing up. v~v it really fucking sucked.
Now I'm in the dizzy/wobbly/chills/feeling like I got hit by a train phase. I'm just glad the nausea is gone. x.x

Not much is happening here. Haven't seen any friends lately. I tried to go clothes shopping with my mom but didn't find anything.
Been just hanging around my house and talking to my boyfriend.

Speaking of my boyfriend. Our two year anniversary passed recently and I've yet to go see him. I don't know when I'll be able to because my ride might be a bit aggravated with me because of my ticket. But I'm going to pay him back so hopefully he'll be willing to take me. .-.

I bought my boyfriend his gifts, as well. I'm not going to say what I got for him because he does read this sometimes. <.<

-talking about sexual stuff-
We tried something new a few days ago that we did again last night before I got sick... phone sex. .///. Considering neither of us are into dirty talk, I thought it would be kind of weird. But it's actually a lot of fun and last night when we did it, I had the longest orgasm ever. xD I'm not kidding. Usually mine last like a normal amount of time, like 10-15 seconds but I had one for an entire minute. o///o it was awesome.
-I'm done. I just had to brag xD-

It's incredibly weird to think that all of my irl friends are going to be in some form of school soon. I'm literally the only person not going to college out of my graduated friends. ._. I feel a little alone and I've been scared that they're all going to forget about me or replace me. v.v

My boyfriend has had to bring me back down a lot from my crazy anxiety imagination. My family has been stressing me out a lot. I think I need to get away but I really don't have anywhere to go.

I've been getting excited for the next renaissance faire. c: the end of September. I've decided that I'm going to be an elven prince for one day, and a tribal wolf boy for the other. I have a wolf tail and a basic outfit for that costume. I just need to add some stuff to spice it up and make some wolf ears. And for my elf one, I'm gonna make a crown/circlet of some sort and I have to figure what I'm gonna wear. So that's gonna be fun.

I'm also writing a new story that I've had in my head since before I graduated. It's a love story that involves dragons and mages and probably other fantasy things. cx

Anyway. I'm gonna go cuddle with my Ollie and try to eat. If you thought I was overly affectionate when I feel well, you ought to see me when I'm sick. @~@

Have a lovely Sunday, everyone.

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a tale as old as time

It is currently 5:26am.

Maybe someday I'll actually get back to a normal sleeping schedule where I don't have breakfast at 3pm.

Tonight was a really weird night. My mom and I got into an argument about my weight. This is the second time in the last few days that she's called me fat.

I love my mom, but jesus fucking christ, she is incredibly negative and just not a good influence. I'm hoping to get away from her here and there more often. I can't deal with this anymore. At least not as often.

My brother also came over so we've been messing with things. We went to my grandparents' for dinner like we do every Monday night, then we went to Walmart lol
I got a new air freshener that smells like rain. It's delightful.

I've just been in my cutest set of pajamas and eating edible cookie dough. c:

I kind of forgot the point of this post.

Ah well. I'm just hoping to talk more to my boyfriend tomorrow. We haven't been able to talk much lately because he's been on a trip and with friends for a few days but it's okay because we still make sure to tell eachother goodnight and check in with eachother.

Lmao. Another guy just tried to hit on me earlier. He sent a picture of himself shirtless to me on instagram and said "every femboy needs a man in charge. you are gorgeous."
I told him that while I appreciated the compliment, I had a pretty awesome boyfriend and he just left. lol cx
I've never been the popular one with boys. (Usually girls like me) so it's weird how this is happening lately.

Either way, I'm not gonna give up a two year relationship with someone I consider to be my soulmate for some random guy on Instagram xD

Godddd I've been getting back into my musical mood. I think it's because
It's almost autumn and that means halloween and that means Rocky Horror Picture Show~~~ can't wait to be Eddie again.
Though once I get top surgery, I swear to god I'm gonna be Frankenfurter. Like he's too damn fabulous to not be a costume of mine.

Oh! I was gonna post in EA tonight but I'm so sleepy and I had forgotten because of the drama in my house. But I'll get to it soon, I promise.

Have a lovely week, everyone.


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