Once upon a time, there was a femme transboy named Lukaiel. He was very insecure, artistic, imaginative and lived in a very un-magical place called Kansas. Someone he once trusted, an evil, ugly witch cast a spell and manipulated the boy into having a romance with razor blades, fire, and self-destruction, and made him hate every inch of himself.
But this all changed when he met his knight in shining armor, Jason. Jason broke the spell with an enchantment called "love". Jason made Lukaiel's grey world flush with color. Along with friends of every kind, Jason brought Lukaiel to a vision of self-love and acceptance for everyone, no matter how different. Lukaiel became a prince.
But the prince is in distress-- his temptation to destroy himself, his doubts, his inner demons. But he, with the hope of loved ones, battles these off even when it appears he is losing the war. He will always find himself victorious with the wonderful people he grew to love on his side.
The prince finds joy in writing, drawing, acting, costuming, designing fashion, listening to music, making odd crafts and jewelry, and reading/watching things. Sometimes he finds himself among faeries, who he believes and finds his faith and ability to cast magic in. Other times, he appears as a fallen angel, a tragic hero. But most times, he's just a submissive and clumsy cat boy who wishes for affection and cuddles. His anxiety disorder cripples him, takes him away from his desire to be around people, and though he values his alone time, he craves company.

Though his life is not spent in a castle, he continues on and loves life. This is his story of romance, acceptance, and finding the beauty in everything.

--dA--facebook--YouTube--tumblr--my knight <3--

i hear they plan to burn me at the stake~

First of all, I want to say thanks to everyone who supported me during my last post. It really meant a lot to me.

Okay, so I finally went and got checked out by a doctor after a few days of living in complete panic of doing so. I was so terrified and scared-- as I'm sure you could tell. I've been stressing out about it for a while now.

At first, it didn't seem like they were going to be able to treat me because my mom had no way of paying. Luckily, we found my insurance card. Then we finally got there, and I was too embarrassed of my symptoms to actually speak, I just kind of nodded and shook my head to answer questions. Then the doctor just like touched my stomach and I was very uncomfortable with that but it wasn't nearly as bad as what I thought would happen. Though I was crying my eyes out the entire time.
Then he prescribed me some medication that I have to take for three days, and told me to stay on a lactose-free diet. v.v He thinks I'm lactose intolerant. God I hope not.

He also is certain it's a stress-related thing. But like... All I've been stressing out about lately is being sick?? I mean, I did used to get nauseous when my anxiety started acting up, but it hasn't happened for a while until this episode. So I'm really confused.

My mom was stressing me out the entire day today. She was screaming at me about how I "made myself sick" and to "go pay for a therapist" and she genuinely got upset with me because I stress out easily???? Like yelling at me for being stressed is gonna help.

But, in better news, I'm already starting to feel better physically-wise. I haven't gotten sick all day or night even though I haven't taken my medication yet (starting it tomorrow).

Emotionally-wise, I... I don't know how I'm feeling. I've been having panic attacks left and right, crying almost constantly, I'm stressing out about how I've been stressing out. I've been getting insecure and upset at the smallest of things. I kind of self-harmed a while ago. Like a few days ago. It wasn't anything major, but I got really upset that I wasn't attractive and I slammed my hand into my thigh hard enough to bruise. Thankfully it faded already and I talked to my boyfriend and he helped me through it.
He's been the only keeping me sane through all of this.

I've been really worried about him and all my friends starting school. I'm the only one I know of that's not doing any kind of schooling. I'm a little worried they'll abandon me or forget about me or will be too busy for me. My boyfriend has been reassuring me of how these things won't happen and I think I just have to see it to believe it.

But I'm hoping that all this loneliness and hopelessness is just coming from me being trapped in my house all the time. I miss seeing my friends and my boyfriend and even just going to the grocery store. I hope I didn't forget how to socialize Dx

I've already made plans to change my lifestyle once I get over this sickness. I'm going on a diet; starting with a cleanse smoothie or diet tea. I'm not gonna go crazy, but I'm cutting out all soda and junk food. And I'm going to take a walk everyday and start doing yoga and I'm not going to worry about losing weight, I'm doing it purely to just feel better. And I'm gonna redye my hair and stop biting my nails and stop picking at my skin. I plan to get some new clothes. I'm going to achieve my ideal skin tone and I'm just going to really focus on being a better person without changing who I am. I'm going to tune myself up.

Plus, it's gonna be autumn/winter soon, and those are my most attractive seasons c;

I'm gonna get back into writing again. I took a bit of break because of my sickness but I'm feeling well enough to at least do that. So I'm gonna update my RPs tomorrow and hopefully do some free-writing as well.

I think for now, I'm just going to chill out and stop stressing.

A few days ago, I got bored and did another try at fawn makeup. I think I did rather well this time :D
External Image

But anyway, for now, I'm doing much better. c:

I love you all, and I hope you have a fabulous week.

-Kyle c:

External Image


It's gotten worse. I can't eat anything anymore without getting sick. All I've had to eat today is yogurt and bananas and bread and I'm still getting sick. And I'm getting dizzy and migraines from hunger and it's all for nothing. It's been two fucking weeks of this bullshit. I haven't been able to leave my house or do anything and it's driving me absolutely insane.

So it's official. I'm more than likely going to the doctor if my mom can get me in on one of her days off and if she can't, I'm probably going to the minor emergency room on Tuesday.

Words cannot describe how terrified I am. Terrified, embarrassed, hopeless.

You may not hear from me for a little while.


Viva La Vida

OHSHC thing~ I've yet to actually watch/read this though. But I thought it might be fun.

Tamaki [Prince Type]:
You are French
You're a very romantic person
You flirt a lot with girls/boys.
Easily fooled by things that wouldn't fool most.
You're overly eccentric in everything you do.
You care about you family deeply even if they don't return the feelings
Your birthday is April 8th
You're slow when it comes to your own feelings.
Total: 4/8

Kyoya [Cool Type]:
You wear glasses.
You are known for being "evil".
Your favorite foods are anything spicy.
You excel in everything you do.
You're a very calculating person.
Your birthday is November 22.
You hate waking up in the morning. (this actually depends though on whether not I'm woken up naturally or not. If my alarm wakes me up then I'm grumpy all morning lol)
You never like to do anything unless it has a benefit
Total: 2/8

Hunny [Loli Shota Type]:
You're the shortest out of your friends.
You love cakes and sweets. (obvi)
You have a stuffed animal that has special meaning to you. (Ollie-Olly-Oxen-Free~)
You are/have taken a martial arts class
You are close to your cousins.
You look a lot younger than you are (I wouldn't say a lot younger but I usually get mistaken for being 14/15. >m< I'm 18 dammit!)
You're born on February 29th
Your favorite subject is math.
Total: 3/8

Mori [Wild Type]:
You're the tallest out of your friends.
You only talk when you need to
You're protective of people you care for.
You favorite food is Japanese food
When bad things happen you tend to blame yourself a lot.
Your birthday is May 5th
You're not much of a leader but more of a follower
Not many people know what you're thinking
Total: 2/8

Hikaru [Devil Type]:
You and your sibling have a strong bond. (oddly enough)
You're a very cynical person.
You like to mess with your siblings a lot.
You're the oldest sibling.
Your birthday is June 9th
You like Italian food.
You get jealous easily
You don't make friends easily.
Total.: 6/8

Kaoru [Devil Type]:
You like to play games.
Favorite subject, English.
You enjoy fashion/cosplay.
You're nicer than your siblings
Your birthday is June 9th
You're very forgiving.
You'd rather give someone something and go without to make that person happy.
You like playing tricks on people
Total: 5/8

Haruhi [Natural Type]:
You don't care about trivial things like appearance.
You're tight with money.
You get along with guys well.
You're blunt about everything.
You're an excellent cook.
You have a hard time understanding love
Your birthday is February 4th
People feel like they can open up and talk to you easily.
Total: 2/8

I suppose I'm Hikaru. owo


"i'll be true... enough"

If you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life. mark the ones you've seen. there are 239 movies on this list. put 'x next to the movies you've seen and add them up. have fun!

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show (IT'S ONLY MY LIFE)
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
Total: 3

(x) The Princess Bride
( ) AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth (crazy movie but david bowie *~*)
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates (made Jason watch this with me xD)
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 8

( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 8

( ) Harry Potter 1
( ) Harry Potter 2
( ) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer (JULIA GULIA)
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch (boyfriend made me watch this ;~; didn't expect to like it!)
Total so far: 12

(x) Finding Nemo (I've even done a scene from this for theatre xD)
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(x) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) Suddenly 30
( ) I, Robot
( ) Robots
Total so far: 15

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
( ) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
Total so far: 15

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving -MAS
( ) Flubber
Total so far: 17

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
( ) From Hell
Total so far: 17

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 19

( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Seven
( ) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Bourne Identity
( ) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
(x) The Fog (stupid movie from what i remember tbh)
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 21

( ) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bron Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine (freaky)
( ) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss's Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 22

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (this movie made me laugh a lot)
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz (I'm from Kansas, what do you think)
(x) Forest Gump (<3)
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
( ) The Terminator
( ) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 25

( ) X-Men
( ) X-2
( ) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 31

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pa
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 31

( ) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring (I need to watch all of these but god they're such long movies x.x)
( ) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
( ) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
( ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 31

( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History
( ) Three
Total so Far: 32

( ) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle (though I hardly remember it)
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters inc.
( ) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 35

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
( ) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
Total so far: 38

( ) Kill Bill vol 1
( ) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 38

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace (I've seen all of these but I literally don't remember them at all lol so I'll just mark one)
( ) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
( ) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
( ) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
( ) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
( ) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 39

( ) The Matrix
( ) The Matrix Reloaded
( ) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
( ) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
Total: 39

damn, only 39. woah


20 Dollar Nosebleed

These are named after monsters!! :D

Vampire: Someone offers you a chance at immortality. Do you take it, and why or why not?
Oh damn this is really hard question. Because I get really sad when I realize that I'm going to die one day. But I wouldn't want to keep living through all my loved ones' deaths, either. I think I would probably refuse the offer.

Werewolf: If you had to spend your life with just one person, who would it be?
I think this is an obvious answer for me lol but my boyfriend, Jason. I also think it's interesting that this is a werewolf question and he's really into werewolves. c:

Witch: If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
I know it's gonna say cheesy, but all the hate in this world really sucks. We, as humans, should support each other. I guess I should say, I'd end war and hate crimes because the world would be a boring place without differing opinions.

Ghost: Do you have any regrets?
Yeah. .w. letting people manipulate me for so long.

Frankenstein: Is someone telling you how to live your life, or are you an independent person?
I'm independent, I think. Or at least as independent as I can be while still living with my parents.

Mummy: If you were to fall into an eternal sleep, do you think anyone would miss you?
I would hope so. ;w;

Zombie: Do you miss anyone right now?
Boyfriend. </3

Faerie: If you could get away with anything, what would you do?
I don't know. O_o I've never had much desire to do anything bad. Kind of a goody-goody over here.

Nymph: What are you like when you’re by yourself?
I'm really quiet. I don't make much noise unless I'm upset (in which case I'm probably crying loudly) or laughing or singing. I tend to just kind of lay around or draw or watch TV or play video games. Not very exciting.

Mermaid: How far would you go to keep the one you love?
If I love them, I'll go to most lengths. Unless they're being ridiculous or manipulative. But for Jason, there isn't much I wouldn't do.

Shapeshifter: What would you change about yourself?
My low-self esteem and anxiety issues.

Banshee: If you knew one of your loved ones/best friends had only one day left to live, how would you spend that last day with them?
:< I'd do whatever they wanted to do with me. Take them everywhere, take lots of photos and make sure they knew that I loved them.

Siren: If you could make anyone do anything, what would you make them do?
Make them be happy. >:3

Genie: If you had one wish that would come true and couldn’t be reversed, what would you ask for?
Uhhh. Probably an endless amount of money xD I would say happiness for my friend and myself but I think happiness is much better when it's earned.

Fury: What is a word/phrase that you dread to hear?
"We need to talk.", "You're being too clingy.", I hate the word "distorted." It gives me gross images. >m<

Incubus: What would someone have to do to get in your pants?
Haha woah. They would have to promise to want a future with me and be loyal and truly love me. I'm too sentimental to just let anyone in my bed. They'd obviously have to be attractive to me and let me know they find me attractive as well lol

Succubus: What’s one thing you can’t live without?
Uhhh my phone, probably. Sounds bad but it's how I keep contact with everyone since I hardly leave my house. It also keeps me busy. Of course I can go without it for a few hours if I have to but I prefer to always have it on me.

This tag was fun, too bad I have boring answers. xD