Seriously, I am way too fucking tired to even be at school right now. ._. I almost fell asleep at the computer a moment ago. XD
But anyway, you guys should message me more often. Not being an attention whorewait i lied yes i ambut I get really bored on the computer in the mornings. cx So yeah, message me or something. I can't reply to comments on the school computer ;-;
Yeah, that's all I wanted to say. :P
Yeah, it seems that I have returned to this site. I won't be able to submit any art however. ._. Sorry lol.
n.n I missed you guys quite a bit. o:
But as of now, I have more free time to be on the school computer. Mostly in the mornings, though. Ah well.
Well, anyway, my life has become absolutely fantastic. I'm open about my gender to basically everyone and I've had a lot of support. My family is still kind of "ehh..." about it, but my friends have been awesome. Everyone has warmed up to my name (incase you forgot, I go by Kyle now) and have been using the correct pronouns. So that's been really great.
As of last friday, I now go to a therapist. I've been having really awful panic attacks due to my anxiety and I just couldn't live with it anymore. I've also been having trouble with old self-harming issues. Not too long ago, I relapsed back into cutting... However, that has stopped, I think. And my eating disorder (bulimia) has been resurfacing but not completely. If anything, it makes me not eat for a day or so. But I'm okay now.
My therapist's name is Diana, and she seems pretty cool so far. She already helped my mom to at least acknowledge that I identify as a boy. That was a fun experience lolol.
I've been doing good in school, except math and photography but I'll survive. I've been really getting into Drama though. It's really fun to just get up on stage and forget who you are, only if it's just for a moment.
My art has improved majorly. I'm not exactly happy with it, but I'll get there. I've also finally gotten serious about my writing and am starting on a new story. I hope to work on it until I graduate. (I'm a junior, by the way.) And I'm still going to write my 'gay porn' on the side, under an assumed name. derp.
Oh, and I have a boyfriend. :D Of almost four months. (Our four-months is in four days xP) His name is Kyle. Yes, I'm dating a guy with the same name as me. Problem? lol. But anyway, he's amazing and absolutely perfect. Even though we live an hour apart from eachother, we still see eachother from time to time, but we talk everyday/night. I love him soooo much, and he's become my new best friend. He's always there to listen to and comfort me. And even though he doesn't always know what to say, he still manages to cheer me up. He's sweet, funny, and adorable as hell, and is just all around perfect. XD
So yeah, my life is just awesome.
I may be online more often now. I don't have anywhere to go or friends to hang out with at breakfast/lunch at school, and the computer's open. :D
I'll make a real life post in here later.
I passed my math test (shocker?) and so I have free time on the laptop. :'D
Anyway. Life is pretty fantastic right now, actually.
There's really nothing current to complain about, so I'll summarize my life (
Hmm, well. Joe and I don't talk at all anymore. Quite a bit of shit happened between us. He faked his death to get away from me, and apparently lied to me about every ounce of his 'feelings.'
He's a game-playing bastard. The only feelings I have for him anymore is the one where he burns in hell for everything he's done for me. Even after he faked all that, I tried to give him a chance to be my friend, buuut... He's too far gone. Everything has gone too far in hell between us to even start over. He's ruined a lot of things for me.
As far as friends go; I've lost two. Cheyann and Sammi.
Cheyann caused a lot of drama between me and Ashley and I can't forgive her. She doesn't let anything go, she's always sad though she's a spoiled brat, and she's just all around a bad friend. She wasn't ever there for me, and she laughed at all of my feelings.
Sammi, well, she's just simply a conceited bitch who can't keep her big mouth shut. She thinks she's 'holier than thou' and she's ridiculous. Confronting me about how she thinks she knows the whole story between Joe and I, and taking his side. SO yeah.
And the situation about my father. I officially moved out in October, to my mom's fulltime. He just stressed me out until I couldn't take it anymore. I rarely speak to him. We're on good terms, sort of, but I can't live with him. It's too much pressure.
As you might be able to see from this post so far, my personality has changed. I no longer give a fuck about bullies and 'haters.' I'm perfectly happy the way I am now. I'm more thankful for what I have, instead of depressed because of what I don't have.
There's about three reasons why. But I'm only going to speak about the main one.
This summer, I discovered that I'm a female-to-male transgender. It's the reason that I've always felt so awkward as a female. Why I dislike being referred to as female and 'Kayla.'
So I officially go by Kyle now. And I'm male inside. So I'd prefer if you guys could start referring to me as Kyle now, and male if you don't mind. I know it's a habit change. But please respect my preferences, please.
And yes, I am a gay male. Sexual Identity and Gender Identity have nothing to do with one another, so yeaah.
Hence, I left all my sadness and depression with 'Kayla.' Now that I've dispelled her, I'm much happier. c:
By the way; I am a dirty hoe. xD and a 'gay little whore.'
~With love, Kyle. <3
I'm sorry that I have to be so inactive. It bothers me, it really does. >_<;;; But I still don't have a computer and it's a very rare chance when I'm able to log on at school. (like now!)
But I will post as much as I can. I sincerely apoligize guys.
PLEASE still try to be active. :b I'd appreciate it.
BAAAIIIIIII FOR NAO.
~Kyle still loves TheO. <333