Once upon a time, there was a femme transboy named Kyle. He was very insecure, artistic, imaginative and lived in a very un-magical place called Kansas. Someone he once trusted, an evil, ugly witch cast a spell and manipulated the boy into having a romance with razor blades, fire, and self-destruction, and made him hate every inch of himself.
But this all changed when he met his knight in shining armor, Jason. Jason broke the spell with an enchantment called "love". Jason made Kyle's grey world flush with color. Along with friends of every kind, Jason brought Kyle to a vision of self-love and acceptance for everyone, no matter how different. Kyle became a prince.
But the prince is in distress-- his temptation to destroy himself, his doubts, his inner demons. But he, with the hope of loved ones, battles these off even when it appears he is losing the war. He will always find himself victorious with the wonderful people he grew to love on his side.
The prince finds joy in writing, drawing, acting, costuming, designing fashion, listening to music, making odd crafts and jewelry, and reading/watching things. Sometimes he finds himself among faeries, who he believes and finds his faith and ability to cast magic in. Other times, he appears as a fallen angel, a tragic hero. But most times, he's just a submissive and clumsy cat boy who wishes for affection and cuddles. His anxiety disorder cripples him, takes him away from his desire to be around people, and though he values his alone time, he craves company.

Though his life is not spent in a castle, he continues on and loves life. This is his story of romance, acceptance, and finding the beauty in everything.

--dA--facebook--YouTube--tumblr--my knight <3--

Boldly Bored.

Since I'm bored, I did another thing. :U

I am a cuddler.
•I am a morning person.
•I am an only child.
I am currently in my pajamas.
•I am currently pregnant.
•I am left handed.
I am a little shy around the opposite gender I'm a LOT shy around everyone lol.
I bite my nails.
I can be paranoid at times.
•I enjoy country music.
I enjoy smoothies.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
•I have a car.
I have/had a hard time paying attention at school.
•I have a hidden talent.
I have a pet.
I have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” guy/girl. but not this time!
•I have all my grandparents.
•I have been to another country.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
•I have or had broken a bone.
I have caller I.D. on my phone. I have a cell phone LOL
•I have bathed someone.
I have changed a diaper.
I have changed a lot over the past year.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
•I have had major/minor surgery.
•I have killed another person.
•I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have mood swings.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. I have ideas... just unsure of how exactly I'll get there.
I have rejected someone before. oh girls... I know you want to bear my children but alas, I am gay.~
I like the taste of blood. call me freaky. I can't explain it.
•I love Michael Jackson.
I love sleeping.
I love to shop.
•I own 100 CDs or more.
•I own and use a library card.
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
•I sleep a lot during the day.
•I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
•I work at a job that I enjoy.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
•I am wearing socks.
•I am tired.
I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt.
•I consume at least one alcoholic drink every month.

I have/had:
•Finished college.
•Smoked cigarettes.
•Ridden every ride at an amusement park.
•Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a concert.
Helped someone.
•Spun turn tables.
Watched four movies in one night.
Been broken up with. and he even faked his own death to get away with me. then came back into my life to fuck everything up.
•Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
•Been in a tornado.
Watched someone die. I've seen people get hit by cars and all sorts of things. /:
Been to a funeral.
•[B[Burned yourself.
•Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
•Spent over $200 in one day.
•Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
•Written a 10 page letter.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved. my friend committed suicide and I was in a weird place in life. It took me a year to fully realize he was even gone.
Gotten in trouble for something you didn’t do. ugh all the time.
•Stolen books from the library.
Been in a mental hospital. a few times, actually.
•Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
•Fired a gun.
Been in a school play. I played a guy named Ira, a cool slacker dude lol.
•Been fired from a job.
•Taken a lie detector test.
•Swam with dolphins.
Attempted suicide. seven times.
Written poetry. I suck at it, btw.
Read more than 20 books a year.
•Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Used a colouring book over age 12.
•Had surgery.
•Had stitches.
•Taken a taxi.
Had more than 5 online conversations going at once.
•Had a hamster.
Dyed your hair. every few months~
Had something pierced. don't get excited, just my ears. I want angelbites though.
Gotten straight A’s. back in middle school.
Your parents sent you to a shrink. twice, actually. the first was to help me "find god" the second was to help me get through my parents' divorce. The third time was of my own doing.
Been handcuffed. my ex-bestfriend and I were a zombie cop and dead prisoner once for halloween. I was the cop. But you know, I'm easily dominated. Lol.

My hair is naturally the color:
•Light brown
•Medium brown
•Dark brown
•Dirty blonde
•Strawberry blonde
My hair color isn't even on here so ginger

My eyes are:
•Light brown
•A combination of things
•Ice Blue

People sometimes label me as:
Yes all four of those. LOL

Some of my biggest fears are:
•Spiders/other insects
Doctor/Dentist appointments
Needles especially needles. x.x
Being alone in the dark unless it's a familiar place.
Small spaces
Oceans/large bodies of water
•Large animals
•Small animals
•Open spaces

I have:
•A friend with benefits
•A laptop in my room
A television in my room
•Good grades
•My own car
•Married parents

7 Deadly Sins thing.

I've had this saved in my phone for a while but I totally forgot who I stole it from! D:

[ ] You carry a mirror everywhere.
[ ] You carry beauty supplies everywhere.
[ ] You put others down.
[ ] You flaunt or brag about yourself.
[ ] The only topic that interests you is you.
[ ] You don't listen to others problems.
[ ] You wear booty shorts.
[x] You wear makeup. (Occasionally, but more than you would think.)
[x] You enjoy attention. (Only from people I know though. Like when one of my friends compliments me on my outfit and they all join in lol)
[ ] You like to do things YOUR way and YOUR way only.
Result: 2

[x] You feel negative about your body image. (being trans*, chubby, and like I have a gross face definitely doesn't help my self-confidence.)
[x] You don't have a lot of money. (We really don't. >.< I'm always the broke bitch.)
[/] You don't have good grades. (They aren't terrible, but they need to be better.)
[x] You're insecure. (lol yeah)
[x] Your living conditions aren't the best. (I get angry a lot here and I'm not treated well often times.)
[x] You cry a lot. (I really do. But I'm working on changing that. And I have yet to cry at school this year so hey! :D)
[x] You are bullied. (Erryday.)
[/] You've never been in a real relationship or have been in a bad one. (I've been in a FEW bad relationships.)
[x] You don't attract all the girls/boys. (girls always fall for me. but guys, not so much.)
[x] You think everyone else has better things. (Because they do lol)
Results: 8. Damn.

[x] You eat a lot. (I gotta stop. >.<)
[x] You always get more than what you need. (Only when we eat out at a buffet or something. I like to get my money's worth.)
[ ] You always have snacks around your house.
[ ] You drink a lot. (Alcohol or?)
[ ] You always have a granola bar or something in your purse.
[ ] You hide food.
[x] You binge-eat.
[x] You are normally warm. (It sucks. o.e I get overheated easily, and I cant stand being hot. But you know what? It's finally cold outside so fuck yeah.)
[ ] You can crack a lot of your bones.
[ ] You often say, "I'm starving...."
Results: 4

[ ] You are very sexually active. (lolno)
[x] You have had three or more girlfriends or boyfriends.
[ ] You wear matching underwear.
[x] You wear a lot of makeup. (Sometimes cx)
[x] You have fetishes. (eheheh. I have my main ones which are mostly about me being a submissive masochist (bdsm). But I do have small ones like when someone moans and breathing fast. I also kind of get turned on when my heart skips a beat. o.o)
[x] You have looked up porn. (Accidentally. I don't like porn really. I think it's a joke and I wouldn't be able to take it seriously. Maybe I just haven't found what I like though.)
[x] You are a fan of Yaoi or Yuri. (My life is yaoi LOL)
[x] You have "fantasized". (LOL okay so once upon a time, I was at my ex-bestfriend's house. This was back in like 7th grade. I fell asleep while she was still awake. Aaaaand I had a wet dream. So I guess that I had moaned in my sleep, and she woke up before it got too serious. But still. That was way embarrassing.)
Results: 6

[ ] You have not had a real relationship.
[ ] You go to anger management classes or used to.
[ ] You have to take special pills.
[ ] You are aggressive.
[x] You hate someone. (There are three people in this world that I wish a fiery death upon.)
[x] You have hurt someone - physically or mentally. (If I ever hurt someone physically, it was probably an accident due to me being clumsy. I hurt my ex-best friend mentally. I regret it. But the bitch hurt me more than I could have ever hurt her so she deserved it.)
[x] You back-talk people. (My parents and a few of my friends lmao)
[x] You have gotten detention before. (For being tardy lol)
[ ] You get into fights - verbal or physical.
[ ] You are strong. (I'm the weakest ever.)
Results: 4

[ ] You often buy things.
[x] You [often] WANT instead of NEED.
[ ] You have expensive things. (lol I don't like to spend more than I should on things. The only expensive thing I own is my iPhone.)
[ ] You put yourself before others.
[x] You can tend to be a little rude. (I try not to be. But I'm very judgmental and bitchy.)
[ ] You don't try to save money.
[ ] You own more than two cars.
[ ] You own more than two credit cards.
[ ] You always have to look the best.
Results: 2

[x] You don't do gym in school or don't try in gym. (lol I had gym freshman year and I just sat against the wall and drew. I somehow managed to pass the class though so hey)
[x] You don't have the best grades.
[x] You procrastinate. (senior project >.< omg)
[ ] You go to bed at ten p.m. (I try to do so, but it never happens because I over think before I sleep. So it's usually 11-12 before I'm asleep.)
[x] You often take naps. (Even though I always feel weird after them.)
[ ] You fall asleep in classes.
[x] You're often called lazy.
[x] You don't participate in class. (>.< too shy)
[x] You do the minimum amount of work. (Why do more than you have to?)
[x] You seldom go to church. (Pff I haven't been to a church since the beginning of the year. And that's only because I had to go with my friend.)
Results: 8

lolol I'm envy (which I saw coming) and sloth. Fun times.


Well guys, guess who's not going to school today because he's had some bad luck lately? >.< Man, I haven't updated this in a while. Like really given you an update in forever. So I shall do so now. :3 a lot has happened recently. ...

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Broken Ties.

Fucking Ashley.

You ruined me.

You left me when I needed you the most. You left me when all I needed was your support. Your approval. All I wanted to know was that you were proud of me. That you loved me and cared about me. That all those years of close friendship meant as much to you as they did to me. You were a part of me. We were so close. I felt your pain as you felt mine.

I was the only one ever there for you. When Nick broke your heart, I was the one who listened to you cry for hours on end. I was the one who listened when you were mad at your mom. I was the one who tried his hardest to cheer you up. I was always there. Always. I looked up to you. I respected you. I stood up to you. But above all, I loved you like you were my sister.

But you left.

You told me that I was too much for you to handle. That I needed to recover from my anxiety entirely to be your friend. That I needed to give you space.

And I tried my very hardest. But you still left. You told me that I just had too many issues for you and you fled my life. But little did you know, you left me with more issues than I ever had before.

You've been gone for a while now. We haven't talked since last November. I lost my "best friend" sometime after Halloween.

The first couple of months were brutal. Because when you left, you inflicted the deepest wounds I ever carved into my skin.

And at first, I tried to win you back. I started going to the worst therapist in town, because that's all my family could afford and I gave you your space. I stopped talking to you altogether. I stopped trying.

But as time passed, I stopped caring, also. I didn't even as much as give you a second look. You were a stranger to me.

I wish I still didn't care but I do. Because now I hate you. I hate you with all my heart. I hate you with every ounce of my being. I can't even look at you anymore. I have to fight down the urge to confront you everyday. The urge to walk up to you and tell you about all the pain you've caused me.

Because you've destroyed me. My anxiety is sky-high. I have trust issues and abandonment issues and I get so worked up over the smallest of things and I can't relax.

You've made me so insecure.

I get so scared that Kyle will leave me if I so much as make even one mistake. I'm so afraid that I'm too much for him to handle, or not enough. I'm terrified because I know that he could do better if he wanted to.
I know he won't leave me anytime soon but I'm so scared that I hold him back in life from being happier.

I'm afraid of everything.

And it's all because of you.

You're not a human being. You're a monster. A cold-hearted, mean-spirited destructive monster. Because no fellow human would ever, no matter how much of a low-life they are, would destroy another person this much.

And now I know how much better off I am without you. But I'm still cleaning up the mess you made.

In case anyone was wondering what happened between me and Ashley. I also needed an outlet for my anger. And no, we will never be friends again. Ever.


Everybody Talks.

Just a warning, I'm really indecisive, so there are more than one answer to a lot of these n_n;

About Me

What's your name? Kyle.
Why were you named that? well, why not?
Are you male or female? maaaale. most days, anyway.
Would you rather be the opposite gender? my life would probably be a lot easier. but no.
How old are you? 17.
How tall are you? 5'7
Are you happy with your height? no D: too tall!
How much do you weigh? Like 250 lbs. -.-
Are you happy with your weight? no, but I do plan on losing it next year or before I start hormone treatment. truth be told though, I truly don't think I'll ever be happy with my weight no matter how small.
What color are your eyes? like a light grey ish olive green.
What's the natural color of your hair? gingerrrr.
Do your dye your hair? If so, what color? At least once every few months. At least. And it all depends on how I feel. My next color is burgundy and maybe a teal streak.
What's your body type? Tall and curvy. Which would be great if I were a girl. But I'm not.
Do you know your blood type? If so what is it? No idea??
Are you happy with your appearance? HAHAHAno.
What is your sexuality? Gay with some Pansexual tendencies. Like I'm all for the guys but some androgynous/genderqueer/agenderetc people...
List things that turn you on: confidence, open-mindedness, spontaneity, dominance, a bit of pain (being bitten, scratched,etc) , tattoos, piercings, less extreme forms of bondage (like handcuffing and such) idk this is a hard question for me to answer because I'm so sexually innocent. All I know is that I like it rough and I'm a submissive.
List your turn offs: oh god this is easy. boobs, "girl parts", too much makeup, negativity, close-mindedness, dirty talk

What's your favorite...

Food: Chinese fooooood, spicy food, soup, salad, sweets.
Drink: hot beverages, like peppermint tea, hot chocolate, and coffee.
Animal: octopi, foxes, wolves, cats, penguins, turtles
Book: I don't even know. I need to start reading again. .-.
Magazine: idk i like those home-making magazines with recipes and stuff. And fashion magazines of course.
Newspaper: idkkkkk
Website: facebook, TheO, deviantart
Pen: ???
Movie: suicideroom, tangled, brave, a knight's tale, hot tub time machine, rocky horror picture show, Edward Scissorhands and Corpse Bride
Holiday: Christmas!! Or valentine's day. I love all the holidays though n.n
Myth: I like the Hades/Persephone thing. Idk I love myths in general.
Childhood story: not sure.
Weather: either cloudy, or rainy and cold or snowing. I hate hot weather.
Eye color: blueeeee. c: or golden brown
Hair color: on myself orrrr? on myself I really like pink, blonde, or something dark like burgundy.
Music player: idk I don't have many options. Right now I'm using spotify even though I hate it.
Flower: roses c:
Sport: I like to watch jousting, fencing and dancing. Do those count?
Vacation spot: never been on a vacation, so I couldn't tell you.
Ocean: ???
Shampoo: garnier fructis, or herbal essences. But I'm broke most of the time, so we use cheaper stuff like suave professionals or vo5.
Deodorant: axe or old spice. fuck yeah
Computer/Laptop: a computer is a computer
Store: gordman's, hot topic, Kmart.
Clothing brand: idcccc.
Shoe: anything but sneakers. I really like canvas shoes and boots.
Thing to do: this is an awfully general question. My favorite thing in the world is cuddling with my boyfriend. But I also like writing and drawing and listening to music and talking to my friends.
Feeling: being with my boyfriend. definitely.
Celebrities: ohhhh man. Jared Leto, Jeffree Star, Gerard Way, Davey Havok, Marilyn Manson
Subject in school: English, Any of my art classes, theatre <33

This or That

Pepsi or Coke? neitherrr. I don't like most cola drinks.
Water or Tea? Tea please.
Braces or Retainer? ??? I think braces are cute...
Bed or Couch? Beddddd.
Past or Future? Neither. Thinking about both make me upset. I like the present.
Woods or City? Cityyyy. Though the woods would be cool to live in for a little while.
School or Work (as in job)? Work, probably. Lol
Sun or Moon? Moon c:
Fire or Water? Fire, I guess. I'm a hydrophobe.
TV or Computer? I'd rather have a computer.
Shower or Bath? As much as I love baths, I gotta say shower.
Unusual or Normal? Unusual :D
Predictable or Unpredictable? Unpredictable. I don't like knowing what's coming lol.
Explainable or Unexplainable? Explainable. I don't like being confused.
Honesty or Deceit? Honesty. LOL who would pick deceit, I wonder.
Together or Alone? I like my alone time but I also get lonely easily so idk.
With Someone or Single? I love being with my boyfriend more than anything ever, but honestly if we broke up, I wouldn't mind being single. He's the only one I want.
Sunny or Rainy? Rainy. Natural ginger plus sun equals NO.
Cats or Dogs? Cats <3
Reptiles or Birds? Both frighten me.
Poltergeists or Demons? Demonsssss.
Summer or Winter? Winter <333
Night-Owl or Early-Bird? Night owl definitely.
Peace or War? Peace maaaannn.
God or Satan? Satan. Only because satanism is more about worshipping yourself than some deity.
Life or Death? Life. c:
Hot or Cold? Coldddd.

First Thing To Come To Your Mind...

Blood: cuts
Nightmare: alone
Clown: ewh
Squirrel: hyper
Great: alexander
Royal: prince
Fangs: lips
Inside: warmth
Outside: trees
Voices: whisper
Darkness: blind
Light: sun
Snake: slither
Bed: sleep
Ocean: vast
Family: broken
Myths: cool
Demons: sexy
Angels: pretty
Love: kyle
Hate: ashley
God: cross
Satan: interesting
Nothing: something
The Unknown: creepy
Paranormal: ghost
Friend: nick
Self: hate

The What's, Who's, When's and Why

What's your earliest childhood memory? I was like 4 wandering around the house in the middle of the night and tripping over the carpet and busting my lip open on a laundry basket
What's your worst childhood memory? I was like 7 and I told my parents that I hated myself. They both got mad at me and each other and argued. They threatened to get a divorce and leave me and my brother in foster care.
What's your new years revolution for this year? I don't have any except pass all my classes this semester and don't cut. For next year, I plan to lose weight, and start transitioning.
What's your current pet(s) name(s)? My three cats are Mr. Fuzz (Fuzzy), Sophie, Whisper and there's my ferret, Sunny.
What's your relationship status currently? happily with my fantastic boyfriend who I love named Kyle for a year and almost two months.
What's your current health? I'm still recovering from a cold. Mentally, not so well.
What's your current mood? Fine, just have a migraine.
What's the nearest book to you? The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. Haven't read it yet though.
What's the color of your nails/toenails? Right now, they aren't colored.
What's the time where you're at? 6:54 pm.
What's the one thing you'd DIE before doing? There are a lot of things I'd die before doing.
What's the name of the person you love? Kyle <3
What's the name of the person you hate? Cunt. I mean Ashley.
What's the subject in school/college that you just hate(d)? Financial literacy, math
Who's the bestest friend what you wouldn't trade for the world? Kyle, Nick and Lyn
Who's "that" friend who has a heart of gold? uhhhh?
Who's the person who you love but doesn't love like that back? idk?
Who's the person you would never hurt? Kyle, Nick, Lyn
Who's the person you'd confess anything to? Kyle n.n
Who's the person you argued with? Well seriously, it would be my brother probably. Playfully, I'm always arguing with Lyn.
Who's the last person to say 'I love you' to you? Kyle more than likely.
Who's the last person you said 'I love you' to? Kyle c:
Who's the last person to hug you (through the internet&in person?) Internet, Kyle. In person, Lyn.
Who's the last person you punched? My brother lol.
Who's the last person to help you out with something? Lyn. She helped me skip the pep assembly yesterday lol
Who's the last person you called on the phone? Kyyyyle.
Who's the last person you saw? My mooooom.
Who's the last person you talked to?and my mom again.
When was the last time you just stopped and were happy for what you have? Probably a few nights ago.
When was the last time you hit something to take all the frustration out? An hour ago.
When was the last time you wrote your feelings down? Like a few days ago.
When was the last time you spent quality time with your family? Monday night. We always go to my grandparents' house every Monday night for dinner.
When was the last time you did something for somebody without asking anything in return? I'm... not sure.
When was the last time you thought outside of the box? I always do. cx
When was the last time you believed in yourself? there was a time when that happened???
When was the last time you confessed something to somebody? Earlier today when I talked to Kyle.
When was the last time you felt remorse? This morning.
When was the last time you felt pure joy? A few days ago.
When was the last time you smiled and really meant it? I never smile without really meaning it.
When was the last time you cried yourself to sleep? Probably last night. Well I mean. I cried before going to sleep.
When was the last time you stood up for what you believe in? I don't think I ever have.
When was the last time you stood up for someone who was hurt? Sadly, I don't think I ever have, once again.
Why did you do this quiz? I just wanted to.