On the phone.
Guy: Hi, This is Brian. (:
Brian: So what's up?
Me: ... I don't know you?
Brian: That's okay! (:
Me: No, it's not... How did you get my number?
Brian: I got it off the barcode from my can of soup. :D
Me: ...That's kinda creepy.
Brian: So what's your name?
Me: It's 30 minutes past Midnight. I'm not gonna talk to some stranger.
Brian: 'Kay, I love you.
Brian: ... Sorry. :c I'm just really lonely.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry.
Brian: So will you be my friend?
Me: I'm happily married and my husband doesn't like me talking to strange men this late at night, so I must leave. God Bless You!~
...I'm such an ass.
Okay, so since everyone's kind of worried about what I said about Matt, I've decided to send him a message telling him how I feel.
If you know me, I never actually PUT MY FOOT DOWN in Relationships and tell it like it's going to be. So here's what I said.
You know that I really like you and you make me happy.
No, this isn't a break-up message.
I need to tell you about how I really feel. How uncomfortable I feel when you say really... Sexual things.
I'm not a prude or anything. I do like joking around and such. But there's clear line between joking and just plain dirty.
Saying things like, "I'm as hard as a rock." is wrong. I don't like it, and I want you to stop. I need you to understand how I feel when you say that.
It makes me feel like you're using me. And I feel violated when you say things like that. You always say you're sorry, but you're not.-- If you were, you wouldn't keep doing it.
I understand you're a dude. And I know that you have 'needs' and all that, but please, keep it away from me.
I don't think you're anything less of a man because of what you prefer, so if that's what it's about then you can quit proving yourself to me.
Anyway, please don't be offended. I'm just not ready for that."
Thanks for all the concern guys.
As my friend Caitlin says--
"All guys want to get into our pants; Good guys just have patience."
~The Sex Is Good, Saving Abel.
SO HEY GUYS. I'M ALIVE.
Well, sort of. I do have a Stomache Virus, so yaaaay. :/ I got blood taken-- For no apparent reason. They said it's because they want to make sure I'm not pregnant...? ._________. I told them I was a virgin, but they didn't believe me since I'm 14, Throwing up almost everyday and gaining weight rapidly. e.e But they couldn't get enough blood so I get to go get MORE BLOOD TAKEN TUESDAY!!! :D
My dad felt bad for me, so I'm home for the day. He was going to make me go to school. e.e;;
Dude, I really hate how I get so nervous easily... Right before she stuck the needle in me, I started crying my eyes out and shaking. Then I started laughing. -- If you know me, I laugh when I'm nervous, I laugh when I'm trying not to cry, I laugh a LOT.
They also think that I may have to go to a Rehab School next year... Since I'm considered Mental. xDDD;; So, that may or may not happen. To be honest, I don't even care. :P Though the way that my doctor described it, It sounds niiiiiice. xDD Couches, Early release, You can eat whenever you want, 20 Minute passing periods... OHHELLYES. >:D But I don't really want to be with people who could prolly rip me apart. xDDD
So my dad is going to be taking away my desktop soon, but I'll have the laptop. :3 And I'll have mah own account on it, so my brother can't get in my crap. :D
OMG, I love Double D from Ed, Edd, and Eddy. xDD His freaking-out-voice just cracks me up.
Oh yeah, and me and Matt are good... I think...
I really like him, I do... But... I hate how perverted he is. :/ He acts like a fucking horny dog half the time. And he apoligizes for it, but it doesn't make me feel any better... He's always asking for pictures of my boobs or stomache, or me in my underwear... And you know I wanna make him happy and all but it makes me feel horrible. I almost sent a picture of me in my bra a couple days ago, but then I told him no. I've told him how it makes me feel, but he doesn't seem to care...
He's always telling me how he isn't gay, and how he wishes he were manly, and I can't help but think that he's trying to prove himself. And I hate it... I like sweet and sensitive guys. I've never been into the whole I'M MACHO AND OVERLY MUSCLED... LOVE ME! guys.
That's why I don't really like texting him or anything... When we're on the phone he refrains from it because his dad's around.
I just wish he wouldn't do that. I'm not ready for the sexual stuff. After I took that picture, I started crying and I deleted it.
I don't sext, by the way. Never have, Never will.
I just wish he would know that I'm not a sexual person and that he makes me feel uncomfortable...
Not to mention, that I feel guilty for not being completely honest with him... I mean, he knows about the way I feel for Joe and all... But I always feel so horrible after I get off the phone with him and end up falling asleep imagining being in Joe's arms... I really do love him guys... But I know what has to happen...
And school... Well, it's not going so well. Considering I miss a lot of school because of health things, I end up failing a few things. But it's nothing I can't get back up, I hope.
Anyway, I have to go read a scene from Romeo and Juliet, so later.
By the way, This made me LOL.
So I have no idea when I'm going to be able to be online and actually get some things done like post... Right now, I'm sneaking on because my dad's at the store and my grandmother's trying to help me. xDD;;
I'm sick, I don't know what I have. I think it's a stomache virus, but I don't know. It hurts worse than when I had the last time and I've been throwing up acid, but not my food... ._.;;;
I'm going to the doctor for it tommorow, might end up in the Hospital depending on what they find.
They still don't know what to do about the cist.
But whether I'm in Hospital or not, I won't be on much since my dad finally got his laptop cord.... Meaning that my desktop is gone. :'c
I have no idea if I can download IMVU or not on it... ;~; Because my dad think IMVU causes viruses... WHICH IT DOESN'T. It does make your computer a little slower, but how slow? Depends on what kind of computer you have and how old it is... The laptop is fairly new so yeah.
I have to share the fuckin' laptop with my retarded brother. PFFT, He can fuck that idea. He'll hog it. HE'S THE ONE WHO GOT ME SO MANY VIRUSES ON THIS ONE BECAUSE HE LIKES DOWNLOADING PORNO AND GAMES. -.-
And you know? I'm suffering because we can't move out of here because of my stupid dad. He keeps buying all this useless stuff when he really needs to start saving up for a house... I'm tired of not having my own room. :/ If I had my own room, I could keep my desktop and that little fucktard of a boy could have the damn laptop.
BUT NO, MY DAD JUST HAS TO FAIL AT LIFE.
Sorryy... I didn't mean for this to be soo... Angry. xDD;; I'm just pissed off. So yeah, who knows when I'm going to be back online again. D:
To Ashley-- LIAM LOVES YOU. <33333 And so does Kyle. c:
Jay: I don't know why I stay on here... So many memories. It hurts.
Me: I'm starting to question that too, Jay. I guess I stay because of the good ones.
Jay: But you do remember what happened exactly one year ago, right?
Me: Yeah, I do. :/
Adrian: What happened?
Me: ... Shall I tell him, or you, Jay?
Jay: I will.
Jay: The older players know... Adrian, A year ago today, The love of my life was killed in a car crash. Her name was Izzy.
Adrian: Oh my god. ):
Me: That was a day we all lost a friend.
Jay: Kayla, do you remember the last thing she said on chat?
Jay: "I love you, Jay. I'll be back Monday."
Jay: I'm still waiting for Monday.
Me: I know.
Jay: And it will never come.
Jay: She's always going to be in my heart, dead or not... I haven't dated anyone since.
I didn't even think about it until Jay mentioned it. Our friend Izzy died a year ago today. She was a very funny and faithful person and I'm sure we all miss her.