Once upon a time, there was a femme transboy named Lukaiel. He was very insecure, artistic, imaginative and lived in a very un-magical place called Kansas. Someone he once trusted, an evil, ugly witch cast a spell and manipulated the boy into having a romance with razor blades, fire, and self-destruction, and made him hate every inch of himself.
But this all changed when he met his knight in shining armor, Jason. Jason broke the spell with an enchantment called "love". Jason made Lukaiel's grey world flush with color. Along with friends of every kind, Jason brought Lukaiel to a vision of self-love and acceptance for everyone, no matter how different. Lukaiel became a prince.
But the prince is in distress-- his temptation to destroy himself, his doubts, his inner demons. But he, with the hope of loved ones, battles these off even when it appears he is losing the war. He will always find himself victorious with the wonderful people he grew to love on his side.
The prince finds joy in writing, drawing, acting, costuming, designing fashion, listening to music, making odd crafts and jewelry, and reading/watching things. Sometimes he finds himself among faeries, who he believes and finds his faith and ability to cast magic in. Other times, he appears as a fallen angel, a tragic hero. But most times, he's just a submissive and clumsy cat boy who wishes for affection and cuddles. His anxiety disorder cripples him, takes him away from his desire to be around people, and though he values his alone time, he craves company.

Though his life is not spent in a castle, he continues on and loves life. This is his story of romance, acceptance, and finding the beauty in everything.

--dA--facebook--YouTube--tumblr--my knight <3--

the hardest ones to love are the ones who need it the most.


I'm currently sick. >.< I've been sick to my stomach since I got home from Jason's yesterday. I think it's because he spoiled me in candy and sweets ^///^
But at the moment, I'm pretty sure I've vomited so hard that I no longer have internal organs so yay.~

lol so on the way to my boyfriend's house, I got my first ticket. I don't even drive yet. o^o
my landlord was driving me to my boyfriend's town when we got pulled over for not wearing seatbelts. x.x Not very much fun. The cop gave me a hard time because I don't have any ID or anything and I'm 18. >.< I'm working on it dammit. Should be getting my social security card next week (my original one got stolen from my mom's purse a year ago) as well as a state ID. Then I'm going to work on getting a job. owo
Anyway, the ticket is only $10 so it's okay, and I've learned my lesson. Mostly from my boyfriend telling me that he would feel safer if I wore my seatbelt regularly. >.<

But anyway yeah o:
Then we got to my boyfriend's house. He gave me late birthday gifts. n.n some mini candles, candy, a 50 First Dates DVD (I love that movie don't judge me), and a deck of cards. I was really confused about the cards until I opened them and realized that he wrote 52 reasons why he loves me. >////< I think I probably died. So sweet.
We didn't make out all weekend this time. xP just on Wednesday night.

-sexual content warning-
He gave me a hickie on my hip. <3 I can't stop looking at it. It's kind of faded already but god it felt so jagiangak *///* and he did the thing with his hands on me. I got reallyreallyreally close to getting off but it never actually happened for some reason. :< Then we grinded for a bit until I was so ridiculously turned on that I couldn't stand it anymore. So I had a bright idea. "Let's masturbate together." I didn't last very long during that. LOL
But anyway, I learned that I probably can get off from him using his hands, it just takes FOREVER.
Then we talked about sex and I told him that having anything inside me anywhere would make me uncomfortable, and that it scares me. I have a medical condition, so that's one reason. But he basically told me that he was happy with what we've been doing, and that sex wasnt too important in our relationship so yay. c:
-so there's that-

We went to go see 22 Jump Street and How To Train Your Dragon 2! omg~~ they were both REALLY good movies!!
22 Jump Street started out kind of "ehhhhh" but it was so good. Really funny. It lived up to be just as good, if not better than the first movie. :D
HTTYD2 caused me such emotion. Wow. I cried a lot. xD so cute and sad and happy idkfksidlfld
We just chilled out and such until I had to go home. We cuddled a lot. I learned that he actually makes me feel better when I'm really sick by just being in his arms and him rubbing my back and kissing me. I love him so much.

Oh! I cut and dyed my hair. I miss it, but I really like my new hair. It's super asymmetric and now it's dark brown with tints of red and purple lol. I love it. Pictures at the end of the post as usual. c:

I've been feeling really insecure about my body, so I'm done being disgusting. I'm going to start taking better care of myself and eating right. I haven't been taking my iron pills so I'm really bruised up. Especially my legs and pelvis. Ow. But I am going to get healthy. My boyfriend and I made a deal to help eachother keep motivated and on track so yay!
Back to counting calories and such. Might do a detox thing pretty soon, too. Once I stop being sick. >.<

I've been writing a new short story. I SWEAR I'm going to finish it. :3

I've been in a very kawaii, please-pamper-me mood for a while. owo so that's a thing lol but Jason has been making sure I'm happy and taken care of.

Anyway I'm going to end this post because I'm rambling. Feel free to talk to me<3

This is from the day before I cut my hairrrrr.
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unintentionally antisocial. >.<

I feel really bad for not talking to people that I want to talk to. >.<

I always type out a comment on someone's post, but I never have the nerve to actually post it. I get scared that I said too much, or too little or that I ramble off-topic.

It's just that people intimidate me so much. >.< I don't even talk to my irl friends over text or facebook much unless they start the conversation because I'm so intimidated. D: nor do I even talk much about my artwork when I post it. I just post it and just say "yeh.", if anything at all.

I want to talk more, and make new friends, but I'm so awkward and scared of messing up or saying the wrong things. >.<;;

I think this is why I don't have more accounts anywhere. I would like to have a tumblr, or Instagram or snapchat and all these fun things to help me make friends but I'm so bad at socializing. :<

I'm sorry if anyone has ever felt like I was ignoring them. I'm just so crazy awkward. But I'm always open to talking with you.

-Kyle. >.<


I've actually been kinda busy lately.
It's weird. o~o

I think I'll start with last Saturday. I went to the boyfriend's early in the morning. ^~^ It didn't take us long to wind up in bed and making out when I got there. o///o

-sexual content warning-
Basically all we did on Saturday was make out and watch movies lol. At first we just grinded against one another, but I didn't get off. :< then he asked if he could try something new-- using his hands. I was unsure if I would be comfortable but I wanted so badly to orgasm. So I told him he could try, and I'd tell him if I didn't like it.
Yeah. I really liked it. >///< It was the first time I was "vocal" during a session. His mom was home so I couldn't be too loud, but I couldn't control myself. It felt amazing, and he kept at it for like 45 minutes until he got tired. But guess who STILL didn't get off? That's right, me.
But then he was turned on, so he asked if I could use my hands on him. After a lot of consideration, I agreed. But he wanted to make it good for me, too. So he included my fetish into it, where I did the thing to him and rested my head on his chest so I could hear his heartbeat. Godddd... that killed me in a good way. Even though I was the one giving, he still remained being dominant by guiding my hand. I still couldn't get off when we grinded afterwards, but his heartbeat is like perfect. It was so fast and pounding, I could feel it against my hand when I rested it on his chest and everything. I had to masturbate (for the last time ever damn.) when I got home just to relieve my tension. I'm squirming just writing about it. >////<
-okay done-

Afterwards, we just cuddled and he asked how it was to hear his heartbeat like that. I was basically speechless, and I asked if maybe he wanted to listen to mine next time he was doing things to me since he was curious. He actually agreed!!! tahlzogzog!! How amazing will it be if he finds himself interested in my fetish as well? *~*
I actually cried after we did all of the things because I felt bad that I couldn't orgasm. There's definitely something wrong with me... (We tried everything, I tried tensing up, untensing, just everything...) But he reassured me that as long as he made me feel good, that it didnt really matter so I was okay.

Anyway, after Saturday, we were innocent until I had to leave on Monday. We just chilled out and played with makeup for a while on Sunday, then we went on a date to see Maleficent.
I liked the movie, but it was WAY different from what you would expect. Not in a good way. After watching it for a while, you kind of know what's going to happen. Some characters are broken... well just one. But otherwise, I liked it. It was super pretty, and all the makeup was on point. o:

Then I had to go home on Monday. I cried a few times during the weekend because I kept feeling insecure and like he deserved better. But he cheered me up everytime and held me when I cried. He actually wrote me a love letter for my birthday that he gave to me so that he could buy gifts later. It's so sweet and I can't stop thinking about it. x///x

Overall a really fun weekend, and I might get to see him more this month after he gets back from a trip in Kentucky.

Every Tuesday, I go hang out with Carli. We call it Musical Tuesday, but we haven't watched a musical yet since she's still unpacking at her new house. So we just derp around and play would you rather.

Wednesday, I don't remember what I did but I think that was the day I went and bought art supplies. c: I got a new sketchbook, a notebook, color pencils, and a watercolor set.

On Thursday, I had to stay at my dad's house all day. We lost power at my house for a while because at like 5am, we had a CRAZY thunderstorm. It sounded like people were throwing baseballs at my house, but it was heavy rain with golf ball sized hail. But jfc. >.< it was crazy.
At my dads, we just drew and hung out and watched Law and Order: SVU. I don't get to see my dad's side of the family much, so it was nice.

Yesterday, I thought I could chill out at home but I actually had to go babysit for Tina.
This morning, I slept in longer than planned so I had to leave Tina's in a rush. x.x I was half asleep and I accidentally left the money she gave me at her house, then when I got outside, I slipped and fell in mud. Which sucked because I've already been in a lot of pain lately, but that made it worse.

Since last Friday, I've had a weird pain in my hip/pelvic region. It started as small pain when I moved it on the right side, but it has spread all the way across to the left side, and it's more frequent. I thought it was because Jason and I overdid it on Saturday, but it started before then, so I have no idea what the deal is. And I've just been aching everywhere. ;-; I think it's probably because of low potassium, and my iron deficiency... I need to get back to taking my pills for that, but I always forget.
I've also been having issues with short term memory. Usually my memory is super good. Like I can remember exact conversations, but lately I can't even remember when I set out my tea to steep. .-.

Oh, I also am starting to graduation money. omg. I got $50 from my grandparents, $25 from my dad on a visa, $25 on a check from another relative, and $100 from my grandmother's cousin. owo I've only spent $30 of it on art supplies and hairdye so far. This is a lot of money to me lol-- and I'm even supposed to have money from Tina for babysitting. It's crazy!
I think I'm gonna buy myself a haircut, makeup, some clothes, probably some supplies to make jewelry and lotion and stuff I want to sell in my shop, maybe some other things. owo we'll see. Carli and I have plans to buy some garters and stockings and sexy things so *~*

I just want to be pampered, which I'm sure that Jason will help me with if I see him again. c: I'm working on starting a diet, and just bettering my appearance and health in general. I've been eating better lately. n.n

Anyway, I think that's all I have to say. I'm gonna chill out today because it's been a bad day. I'll work on writing and RPs hopefully tomorrow. x.x but mentally, I'm fabulous! There's been a good energy between me and the boyfriend and it makes everything seem brighter.

Have a lovely day <3


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at your service~

So I'm really bored lately. There's not much to do. v.v

I'm not able to go see Jason this weekend like planned... my ride has plans so. :< we're waiting until next weekend.

I also might throw a birthday party for myself. owo I haven't had a birthday party in a while. It won't be anything crazy, just a few friends hanging out at the park and eating cake and such. Emka is really determined to make a party happen for me so xD

Anyway. Since I'm so bored. I'm going to remind you that I'm TOTALLY available to do art trades and requests. :B
I'm also thinking-- you guys should totally ask me questions-- no matter how crazy or personal, and I'll answer them on a post. It just seems like a fun and interesting thing to do. c: or if you have any video requests or just anything in general for me to do, I'd be happy to comply.

June is gonna be a new start for me. I'm starting a diet an exercise plan, and going to seriously start looking for a job. So I have to dye my hair a natural color. :< I'm gonna miss my purple but I'm also excited to start a new chapter in life. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this, but I measure my life in my hair color xD changing my hair in any way helps me to move on in life. I'm not sure why lol.

But yeah. I'm here if you need me~ I'm working on getting my new RP up. c:

-Kyle. :>

little lion man

hey guise :3

what's been happening in my life? hm.

well Saturday, I went to the melodrama theatre with my dad and brother and my dad's friend with benefits (or whatever, he has an online lover, and this chick o.e). It was so awesome!! We had a fantastic dinner first, then watched a play and musical review. I had so much fun, and I hope I get to go more often because I loved it so much. My dad bought me some light up plastic candles (I'm not allowed to have real candles), a very girly shirt, a cute jewelry holder (it looks like a woman with a dress lol), a bouquet of balloons, and a $25 Visa card. I'm most excited about the candles because they're so pretty and shimmery *~* they change colors and I just want them in every room of my life.
At the play, I got my picture taken with the hero because it was my birthday :3 he was so cute. But since it was also my first time going, I was harassed a few times lol.

On Sunday, I went to hang out with my friend Carli for a short time, then my mom and I went to shop for my graduation outfit. She bought my shoes, but I paid for everything else. I ended up with a nice pair of sparkly black ballet flats with bows, a teal undershirt, a black and white oversized cardigan, and black leggings. It was really cute. n.n

Monday... I graduated!
I had a panic attack before it started, but my best friend Tah-Tah and Jason calmed me down. I lost my damn tassel though. >.<
I made it though. I didn't cry and it was a nice time. It went by fast so that was nice.
Here's a picture that my friend Leila got of me and Tah-Tah walking in.
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Then today, I went to officially get my diploma and pay my school fees. It feels nice to finally be done with all that nonsense. I know I'm gonna miss it but for now, I'm ready to be stress free for a little while.
My mom took me out to eat at a Chinese restaurant after that. (My favorite <3). So that was nice. x3

Not much happening now but this weekend I finally get to see my boyfriend. <3 I'm so excited.

I've been in a very *anime* mood as of late. But it's hard to watch it without decent phone service. ;-; I want to watch Sailor Moon actually lol but my damn phone. -.-
So I've been watching Toonami to get my fix. I'm somewhat into Space Dandy and Blue Exorcist. Naruto Shippuden as well, trying to get back into that. Luckily I remember quite a bit. It gives me flashbacks lol
Tonight I'm gonna reread Starfighter and Teahouse. :3

So yeah, there's your update.

Also, if anyone is interested, I would love to do art trades and requests. I'll be replying to my RPs and starting up the new one this week so look for that. n.n

Not much else is happening. owo

I'm here if you need me ~