oh. my. goodness.
This weekend was absolutely perfect! It was exactly what I needed after a particularly terrible week. It was really rough and stressful but I'm so happy right now, I can't even comprehend that I was ever that miserable. I was battling the urge to cut and just generally hating myself. But now I can't stop smiling. c:
The good times started Friday after school. I had been feeling pretty insecure about my looks lately so I finally got my hair cut and dyed. It's pretty short and it's all a bluish purple. I love it so much! I feel really cute. c:
I'm also excited because the renaissance faire is coming up~ and I got a part in a play in my theatre class :D it's a parody of Hamlet. I play three roles (sort of): hamlet's father's ghost, Philonius (I think that's his name??) and Actor #3, who's all excited about a sword fight lol.
Then yesterday morning, I FINALLY got to my boyfriend's house. He got me started into Assassin's Creed. :3 and we watched cartoons and movies like we always do. This time we watched Movie 43, Liar Liar, Steven Universe, Eclipse (like the Twilight movie), and Gravity Falls. It was a lot of fun. c: we talked and cuddled and laughed.
Buuuuut there was much more happening as well. c; I'm going to talk about some sexual stuff so you can scroll past it if it makes you uncomfortable.
We made out a few different times, but there was one point when everything really changed.
It used to be, our version of making out, that we just kissed a lot. Not really any tongue but that was that. Because I'm kind of terrible at it xD
He gave me my first hickies. o///o under my collarbone. The first time was just a test to see if I'd like it, if he could even do it (he thought he wasn't good at them). And I just loved it so he gave me another and it was... woah. x3 and he pulled away and looked at it and was like "oh my god this is awesome :D" and I agreed omg. We were both so giddy about it cx
Then we got to making out more. And he pulled away and we just talked about our little kinks and such. He told me he really liked grinding, and that he wanted to try it with me. So he got up, turned off his light and got on top of me.
It was apparently his first being on top while doing this, and my first time EVER doing this. So we were grinding (with clothes on). And like I thought he was really attractive before, but the impossible happened and he became like 143773 times more sexy. His expressions, his sounds, everything. Like oh my heavens. And we ended up orgasming at about the same time. (Which is the first time we had ever done anything like that)
It was such a magical experience. Not just because of the sexuality, but we had such chemistry. My heart was pounding and I could feel his racing against my chest. So wonderful. And he was such a sweetie. Being a gentleman, asking me if I liked it and if it was okay and taking care of me. He told me that he loved me and called me beautiful.
Afterwards, we just held eachother and talked about it and went to sleep after watching a movie.
We did it again today before I left and I got to listen to his fast heartbeat after he orgasmed. God he was just... Wow. Perfect.
I've never felt such a connection. I'm really glad we got to experience it together and I'm excited to make more memories with him. I feel like it really added strength and trust and love to our bond. I had no idea it was possible to love someone so much.
All my life, I haven't had the best luck with people I fall for. I've had my heart broken so many times but with him, it's obvious to see why no one else could've worked out with me. Everyone else made me feel bad about myself or neglected me. But he is so handsome and sweet and caring and he reassures me about how much he loves me. I've never had such a good guy for so long.
I'm excited to be his.
I'm home now and I have school tomorrow but even that can't wipe the smile off my face. x3
I keep looking at his love bites and just dying of happiness. They're like little secret marks of ownership and reminders of his love.
I hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend as well~~
Stolen from Nikki. c:
You have watched at least 20 Disney movies.
You have watched at least 40 Disney movies. (I'm not entirely sure. o:)
You don’t eat dairy.
You work best at night time.
You take a selfie almost every day.
You laugh at the end of your sentences. (I laugh at everything)
You wink at people.
You hate being tickled.
You want to travel the world in a boat. (lol I'm a hydrophobe. Getting me on a boat is basically impossible.)
You want to travel the world in a hippie wagon. (yessssss)
Your hair is fluffy.
Your hair is sleak.
Your hair is an artificial colour. (just cut and dyed it purple last night~~)
You get takeout at least once per week. (I live so close to a McDonald's. -w-)
You dislike the general public.
You have been caught sleepwalking.
You sleep with a plushie. (not like an anime plushie though. just a few stuffed animals. cx)
You have eaten an entire block of cheese in one sitting. (don't judge me.)
You have eaten a red hot chilli pepper.
You draw hearts on top of your i’s.
You have watched an episode of My Little Pony. (I'm a brony lol)
You have a crush on someone who knows you. (my boyfriend lol)
You keep plants in your room.
You collect music CDs.
You take vitamin supplements.
You read mostly non-fiction.
You go on Tumblr every day without fail.
You have published a YouTube video.
You have a fandom blog.
You have eaten Pocky. (my mom won't buy it for me anymore. xD so I get my fix from my friends.)
You can play the cello.
You can play the harp.
You prefer vampires to zombies.
You prefer zombies to vampires.
You have been described as naive. (I'll admit to it.)
You have been described as suspicious.
You have had a stalker.
You liked going to school.
You have a pear-shaped body. (I have great hips but no ass. wtfffff.)
You have an apple-shaped body.
You have sensitive teeth.
You like your job.
You have a slow internet connection.
Your phone is not a touch phone.
You are the dominant one in the relationship. (LOLno)
You like watercolor painting.
You like playing the drums.
You are scared of loud noises. (I'm very easily startled. -w- thus, my phobia of balloons popping.)
You eat food in your bed.
You are shy but not quiet. (I talk softly most of the time. But I do talk a lot. I talk too much, even.)
You are quiet but not shy.
You plan a lot of parties.
You have an alter ego.
You are good with money.
You are afraid of intimacy.
You normally have dinner after 8pm.
You normally wear high heels.
You have been grounded more than once. (I'm not a bad kid, I just slip up a lot. xD everything I've been grounded for has never been my intention. It's usually for my grades being too low or something.)
You have never seen Shrek.
You have won a trophy.
Your favorite ice cream flavour is mint.
Your favorite ice cream flavour is vanilla.
Your favorite ice cream flavour is strawberry.
You are good at sports.
You have a skin care routine.
You are a D-cup or larger.
You have long legs and arms. (not sure about my arms, but my legs are pretty long.)
You add ketchup to everything.
You have an anime figurine.
You have danced and not cared who saw it.
You want to go into outer space.
You want to rule the world.
You constantly hurt somewhere. (at least the places where I hurt vary. owo)
You are scared of mice.
You are scared of horses. (I like to admire them from afar.)
You are scared of butterflies. (I love butterflies a lot! But I don't like them near me. >.<)
You have one or more moles on your face. (not on my face lol)
You are good with children. (which is weird because I hate them.)
You have learning difficulties.
You drink at least 7 pints of water per day.
You want to be a singer in a band.
You have bought a frame for a special picture.
Your favorite Disney Princess isn’t Belle, Ariel or Rapunzel. (Jasmine, or Mulan, or Merida. c:)
You prefer to watch than participate.
You have dark skin.
You have dated 5 or more people.
You have been told you are a cool person.
You have been told you are a scary person. (people don't really understand how I am. I do everything a little strange.)
You are doing this post because you are bored. (kind of. I'm on a hour-long car ride to go see Jason. <3)
Here's my new look ~
Incase you were wondering.
-Name: Kyle cx
-Age: 17, 18 in a few months.
-Gender: Femboy/androgynous boy.
-Sexuality: To be technical, I'm demiromantic and pansexual with a strong preference towards men. Basically, I'm gay and I won't date someone unless I have an emotional connection with them first.
-Relationship Status: I've been with my boyfriend Jason for a year and eight months as of today. <3
-TV Shows: Game of Thrones, RuPaul's Drag Race, Friends, What Not To Wear, Say Yes to the Dress, Adventure Time, American Dad
-Movies: Rocky Horror Picture Show, Grease, Moulin Rouge, Les Miserables, Frozen, Mulan, Wreck It Ralph, Corpse Bride. I really like musicals LOL as you can tell.
-Music: Literally I like a bit of everything except country. My all time favorite band is 30 Seconds To Mars.
-Celebrities: Jared Leto *~* Jeffree Star. Why are they the only two I can think of. o_O
-Books: The Fallen series, Beautiful Children, I Am Jay, Stolen, Evernight.
-Video Games: Devil May Cry, God of War, Prince of Persia, Growlanser, Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Sims
-Colors: purple and turquoise c:
-Food: Oreo cheesecake. :Q
-Drink: I don't drink cola drinks. I like fruity soda, hot tea, peace tea, and coffee.
-Height: 5'7. o.e too tall for my liking.
-Weight: I don't even know man. Like 250ish I think.
-Body Type: Tall and curvy. Ugh.
-Skin: Slightly paler than average with pink undertones.
-Hair: Naturally ginger, but I dye my hair often. Right now, it's a light orangey blond.
-Eyes: Light grey-olive. Sometimes they look yellow/gold.
-Piercings: Just my ears... for now.
-Tattoos: none yet.
-Clothing Style: jfc I have so many styles. It changes on my mood. Mostly it's all femboy-oriented though, and stays in the "alternative" category. I go from goth to shy nerd, etc.
Personality?: Shy as hell, quiet, flamboyant, I have social anxiety. owo When I'm comfortable with someone, I talk a lot. I like to think I'm polite. I try to be as sweet and nice to everyone as much as possible. I'm really clumsy and obedient. o.e I'm easily flustered and I don't hide my emotions hardly ever. I'm pretty naive and a little slow. I'm always making really lame jokes.
-Feminism: I'm a feminist.
-Recreational Drug Use: Nope. I'm straight edge. I don't care if other people smoke and such as long as they keep it away from me.
-Equal Marriage Rights: Definitely.
Hobbies?: acting, writing, reading, drawing, makeup, designing costumes, going to renfaires, making crafts.
So yeh. owo if you'd like to know anything more just ask.
Spring break!!! Finally! I've been pretty on edge at school lately. It's been a long week.
On Monday, my mom and I had a huge argument about my graduation ceremony. Because I don't want to go to it, but everyone else in the world wants me to go. I don't want to go because I'd rather not have my birth name announced in front of everyone while wearing the color that's meant for girls. But I'm being forced to go. So I'm really worried and panicky about that, but I have a month or two to try and come to terms with it. -siiiiiiiiiiiiigh-
Monday night, I got really sick. I think it was a horrible combination of school food and anxiety. I woke up at like 2am and I felt nauseous but I was in denial of throwing up. XD I thought I'd be alright if I went back to sleep. Nope. I woke up 15 minutes later and ran to the bathroom. I was basically violently throwing up all night and day so needless to say, I didn't go to school on Tuesday.
Wednesday I went to school and had a decent day. c: same with Thursday.
Today was the official start of spring break. -forever freaking out because senior project is due next month OH MY GOD- I need to get so much stuff together. >.<
This is the first spring break that I have quite a few plans. I'm babysitting tomorrow night for Tina again. I babysat for her a few hours last night as well. So currently I have $40 :D and after tomorrow night I'll have $60. I don't usually get money so I'm pretty excited.
Then I'm just gonna hang out with Tina for a few hours on Sunday before I leave.
Somewhere between Sunday and Thursday I'm supposed to see my dad to spend some time together and "talk". I'm a little frightened by that. Because my dad knows about my being trans, he watches my deviantArt, and has seen my facebook. But it isn't like he hates me, because we've been talking just fine. I hope that, if it is about my gender, that he's supportive/accepting. That would make my life so much easier.
I'm pretty excited for Thursday. I get to spend the night with Emka, who I haven't seen since like September. She's probably the only friend from middle school I'm still best friend-status with. We don't talk much, but when we do, it's so fun. She's practically the female version of my boyfriend and I think of her as my daughter lol. cx
and sometime I'm supposed to hang out with Carli and Leila and my whole little school group of friends. c:
Then the following weekend, I'm hoping to see Jason. I miss him so much. ;-;
Oh, and yesterday I recieved two awards. My school has these awards that teachers can reward to students for showing different characteristics of a great human being. I had never got any ever until yesterday. One from my special art production and Academy/Seminar teacher, and the other from my theatre teacher. x3 they both said some really nice things about me. So it's really great.
Today I've been working on a lot of artwork which I'm gonna upload here tonight. It's been fun. c:
I want to write but I just can't figure out a good start to my story. x.x so I've been doing a writing challenge thing. I'll probably post it as well.
So yeh, there's life. owo
I take a lot of selfies I know. LOL but it's my way of feeling confident. -w-