Last week, Mason and I decided to break up. It was mutual. I knew deep down that I had made a poor decision to jump into a relationship right after getting out of a rather serious one. It's been good for the most part. Everything. I mean, I'm still hurt from me and Brandon's relationship. Looking back at it, it wasn't very...good. He was not a good guy. He said a lot of sweet things, but did a lot of things that weren't so good. I know in the relationship, I wasn't perfect and didn't always say the nicest of things, but I'm glad I can own up to that. Can he? I don't know, but quite honestly, I'm really glad he's out of my life. It's much better without him trying to control what I wear and do. And judge me for who I am friends with and who I talk to.
Yesterday, it was a great day. All weekend I had to stop myself from trying to think about a guy who I am somewhat interested in, but I don't know if we'd ever work out or if in fact he likes me back. I decided today I'm not going to hang over the whole situation, because I know that even though I want to be in a relationship, I'm not ready. I have to put what's needed before my wants, and I feel like I have been doing that a lot more lately. The whole "not being in a relationship" thing isn't as complicated as it feels though. I know that. I think that my best guy friend of..what...4 years now has feelings for me. We once tried dating, but we were so close that it was weird. Not only that but I had just gotten out of a relationship, and again, wasn't ready to be in another one. We've both matured a lot since then, though. It makes this situation complicating, because I have thought about trying again with him, and right now he's engaged with this girl of 2 years. She's really awesome, a person I can really call a friend. Things with them right now, though, aren't going so well. Right after Brandon and I broke up (for the first time this time), he was telling me how he's not so sure anymore on how he feels about her. It's really rocky. There's no part of me that wants them together, but one part wants them broken up because I know he's not happy and the other part wants them broken up because he is like my best friend, and I wouldn't mind trying a relationship with him again far in the future when I'm ready.
With all of that nonsense above, I'm not stressing over it. For once, I'm not taking a situation and blowing it out of the water with stress and being overwhelmed. I have always been one to believe that everything happens for a reason. Right now, I'm making the choice to just let it be. To just let it happen-whatever it Is that needs to happen. If something blooms out in a relationship and it's good-then it's good. So for right now, I'm just chilling. Just living like I ought to.
Today wasn't such a good day for me because of a migraine. Not very fun, but eh. I got home and slept for 3 hours and I just took 2 Tylenol pm's so I can sleep soon again and to get rid of the migraine I have. The oh-so bittersweet heat. haha. STILL better than the cold, though.
