Annoyed!!! GAH! WTF!

So last night me and my bff planned a sleepover for today and she's like "oh yeah I'll be there early in the morning like around 9" and im like "oh okay" and so I got up early thinking "hey she's going to be here soon" but no. She has to go shopping then out to eat. Well now it's going on 1:30 and she's still not here and I'm extremely annoyed.. Don't effing tell me you're going to be at my house at a certain time and then not come. And she's not even texting me anymore. I'm pretty pissed. And she knows that I hate it, too. She knows damn well. I can picture her mom saying "Oh lets wait longer to piss her off more"! Oh my god. Most of the day is wasted now. Because in 3 hours, the sun will start to go down and then it'll get dark. I can't even express how annoyed and mad I am right now. Seriously.

Yesterrday!

Yesterday I spent the day cleaning, removing all my files to my laptop to my desktop (I had to reset it to factory settings-it needed to be done), and watching LotR with my sister. XD. I did all of that at once! :OO. haha. I have a date Sunday (I think?) to go see the Hobbit. XD. I'm soo excited to see it again :3. Best.Movie.Ever. XD. So I had been planning my elf cosplay for the past month now, and I still have no idea what race of elves I'm going to do. But I have the ears ^-^. I know for sure I'm doing something simple. So I'm using my normal skin, but I'm having a shitty time trying to figure out the clothes D:. Anyone have any ideas??? HELP ME PLEASE *begs on knees*

My Christmas/Eve

Today wasn't filled with much excitment, because we open presents on Christmas eve. I spent the day with my sister, surprisingly enough after I went on that big rampage about her in my last post. I still feel that way, but hey..it was Christmas..so why not? She came over to help me with my room, but I couldn't do much anyways with it so we ended up watching Lord of the Rings. I then went to Walgreens with the family and got hair dye. Well a "lightening kit" or whatever. lol. Going back to blonde. I was in 2010. I've missed it, but my uncle Robert is upset because he liked me as a burnette. I like change, though. I enjoy being and doing different things. That's probably one of the reasons why I like cosplaying. I love being able to be different people with their different styles. Of course, I'm still me because no matter how hard I try to act the way the characters act, I end up just being silly and myself XD. Being as long as Lord of the Rings is, we ended up only watching Fellowship of the Ring. Tomorrow we are going to watch the other two, hopefully. My uncle kept going on about how the movies all together are 15 hours long, which is exaggerating if you don't have the extended version like he does. It really sucks not having a job anymore. It really does. Having no money is hard with bills and stuff. And with my tax return, I'm going to have to get my car fix unless my mom lets me sell it and take her car that she has now. Well it's a blazer, not really a car but whatevs XD. But with the rest of my money, it's going into my savings and towards the door I'd like to build. I want to build a circle door like Bilbo Bagginses door. haha. Something about a circular door sounds exciting and fun. AND different! :P.

Downhill

So today didn't go as great as it was supposed to go. I hate my situation at home sometimes, but I know that it could be worse. But I've been struggling with depression/self-harm since 2006ish. I haven't hurt myself in a long time, but it still crosses my mind quite frequently. Thanks to my mom, I have learned through her not to really show my feelings or cry in front of people. It's extremely hard because of that, because they don't understand what I'm going through. The only way to express my feelings were to cut or bite myself. When I was younger and I was upset I used to bite myself, and then it just upgraded to cutting. I don't think upgrading was a good word choice. It made it sound like it was a good thing, but that's not what I meant. Anyways, once they found out, my mom just threatened to take me to a mental hospital. That was it, never "it'll be okay" or any way to help me get through it, not like I cared, because without cutting, what would I have? My sister always got the attention. Always. She was always the one crying and the one getting babied. And now that she "wants to kill herself" she is getting all of this attention like it's so much more important than when I was slicing the shit out of wrists/leg/ankle. I know that you should always take suicide threats seriously, and you know, my sister concerns me too. But it just hurts a lot that they never ever treated me the way she did her. And as of late, I've been feeling extremely pushed down so much. Between school and not having very many friends (which no one understands. Not even my best friend because she has so many other friends) and not being liked and then feeling like crap at home because of my self-centered sister. And I am not exaggerating when I tell you self-centered. Christmas eve is tomorrow and I want to burn the present I got her. She doesn't deserve it. And she has this dog, Montana, who she calls stupid and smacks and screams at, and no one ever does anything about it! Like seriously! And she calls herself an animal lover! I'm just torn up in so many ways, and I needed to get it out, and this was the way. Because I don't want to hurt myself. I don't want to go that route, because it is an addiction. It's like an alcoholic faced with alcohol.

I'm sorry for this very depressing topic, right before Christmas..

Promoted :D

I was promoted to Senior Otaku+ :D I'm so excited! I love this website, it's one of my favorites! :3. I just want to thank everyone who reads my posts and likes my wallpapers, cards, and such. I appreciate it! ^-^

I will likely post before Christmas, but if I don't have the time I want to wish you all a very Merry and Happy Christmas! Or anyother holiday celebrated at this time! I hope you all get what you ask for and get to see the people you wish to see the most <3

Image from the following link:

http://themightysqueegee.deviantart.com/art/Merry-Christmas-Pinkie-Pie-Vector-295540534