Therapy for the broken
You know it's hard but theres always a way..
- Created By Blood Moon Wolf
It's the awkwardness..
Yo everyone it's me lol.
So Cj and I shared secrets and I told him the one I hid from him which it's the first I ever told anyone.
I feel weird about it bleck well anyways I have no idea what I'm going to do but I do know I'm glad CJs the only one to know about it because I trust him with the secret so much. Apparently I messed up CJs chances to be friends with my mum. Eh it's really bad. I told my mum CJ was mine and he was going to be my babies father I'm so happy CJ likes me even though my grandparents tease him
"Cleans your balls"
"What about my ball sack?"
Lol much?I almost hurt a boy because he was making fun of my pokewalker and I got very defensive.
Okay...
Okay.. I'll tell a bit more about today.. I realized I was uncomplete about it.
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During the speaker's time.. Basically I had a whole leg arguement and disagreement.
I kept pushing Justin's leg to make him smile and we had a whole leg war, Super fun.
He also made me giggle alot because People's pain makes me laugh sometimes.
But it makes me feel bad.
Also I had a very emotional conversation with a guy that sat next to me, Colton who is my friend sort of but he and I had a serious conversation.
I felt bad for him but I was happy to have someone to talk to me.
Pretty much I felt okay afterward..
Today A Speaker Came, Tomarrow we decide what we do
Mood: Okay but alittle sad from earlier
Listening to: Suddenly by Superchick
Time: 6:59 PM
Ugh Hi People.
Today I've been fighting off a depression I got right after lunch. Ouch much?
Today a Motivational Speaker came all the way from Florida to speak to my School. I found his speech emotional, Very much emotional.
But theres one thing he said that got me to tear up for 3 classes everytime I thought about it.. And I really wanted a hug.
He was talking about what happened to his mother, And basically she was abused and he stepped in sometimes.
I felt so bad afterwards, My Mum was abused by my father too, And I would jump in the fight to help her, I was scared, I was only well 6 years old or so, I love my mum, Unconditionally, I love mostly all my family, Im a very simple little girl.. But I love my family.. My mum was the woman I looked up to and I jumped in the fights she and my dad had, Fearful but brave, Things such as Bravery and courage come out when the most important people to you are getting hurt. I was very frightened for her safety and my brother's. I pretty much put all strength into getting my dad off my mum...
I dealt with that and what bothers me is she took him back, Shes obsessed with the man who abused her.. my Father.. I dont know what side I'm on. But pretty much Michael hit the home wrecker's heart.
Pretty much.. I just tried getting in touch with him to tell him he moved me back into my flow of trying to be a difference and try to bring something to people.
I'm only going to get a job to try to make a difference Im not in it for money but to make a difference..
Byes
I hate that..
Mood: Hungry and very upset with my stomach.
Time: 6:41 PM.
Listening to: Rebirthing by Skillet.
Hey people.
Yesterday I was sick to my stomach, Got out of school early, I wore a Dress to school that day, many people were shocked at me.
My friend was proud of me, Very proud, It was strapless and she was shocked that I wore it.
And Bri asked why I was dressed up. I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders.
But I got a person whos gotten a crush on me's attention quite alot now. Which I didnt want.
But apparently he wanted that and today he was paying alot of attention to me.
And messing with my back. How I am I'll instictively arch my back if anyone runs their hand up my back with their hand or finger. So I did and he kept laughing and kept on at it.
That doesnt bother me unless he goes further at it. And CJ told me to tell. Which I plan on telling.
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I'll post about CJ in my Other World. ^w^
Pay No Mind..
Listening to: Pet by A Perfect Circle
Mood: Upset and mad. >.>
Time: 8:16 PM
Hello.
Today I gots homework, History and Science. Bleh..
I swear, Something bad will happen one time and I wont be able to stop myself from going crazy about it. EX.: My grandpa keeps asking me these stupid questions and its making me basically go crazy in my mind. It bothers me alot when people ask me such stupid questions.
I mean Im stressed enough this week, Im on my period.. Oh and I wont be posting on You'll never know for a while. Because this gives me the best security on this world. ^w^
I wish every little problem I had disolved. I need to find my grandmother's necklaces I took from her house.. I love them but I put them in a case thingy and I forgot where I put it.. >.<
Cj and I have gotten closer, Really close actually, I feel so useless without talking to him lately.
Also I guess I hate what people do, I mean I understand sometimes but god does it have to be like that?? I want to just disappear, Ive gotten where I want everyone away, Far far away from me.
I just want to disolve into the masses of peace and live my life there.
CJ has decided his career choice, Engineer, Aviation. I dont really know if I like that or not, but I cant have a big big say in it... >.>
He got his gifts yesterday, Punky loved her chew toy, Shes vicious when people try to take it, which made me happy that she liked it. My grandpa and I got it for her since she shares my nickname >>;
Uhh He and his mum liked the necklace, I think next time Im going to try to get his mom a necklace, I dont know, I might.. >.<
No No! Im not trying to win points against them liking me, Well sort of.. >>;
I think his mums a nice lady, and i had forgotten anyway that she might want a necklace, >.< Soo basically Im going to go through and save up more money to buy her and Dalton something and CJ something again. @~@;
Which right now I only have like 30 dollars? And like I think Im going to get his mum something expensive, Coz' Im like that. @~@; I spoil my people xDD
Yeaaah those are my plans... Ugh.
My drawings are getting better-ish! ^w^
Woo!
