Otaku Eternal | Posted 01/08/10 | Reply
suddenly I feel the urge to write xD i am usually not the type of person who will write that much, but i haven't written for a long time :P plus the idea flows~~~ ^^ you're welcome :P
actually...I have the same habit lol I tend to use comma a LOT :3
I'm trying to get rid of that habit though, so I always review my writing based on that point.
you're welcome and NO PRESSURE xD
i make mistakes too >D
woops I made a long comment again :P
Sunrise (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 01/08/10 | Reply
XD Wow, that's one lonnnng comment you have there Sempai. XD
Yeah it is. I'm more of a visual person, but eh. :D Thanks a lot! ^^
Oh oops. It's a habit. I like using the Oxford comma lot. XP
haha, thanks for that. >< I'LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME. I PROMISEEE.
Yayyy, I gots praise! :D
But I like reading long comments. :3
Oh, thanks~ I'll do my best. :)
Mighty RED RANGER
:O I didn't know you love writing as well :3 haha. Came across this when I was looking at your worlds~~. I'll try giving constructive comment, but it's indeed harder than commenting in wallpapers xD aside from the fact that english isn't my first language, I'll do my best :P
Let's see.. About the punctuation mark :3 you tend to use coma before and, like "..people would wave to him, and say hello.." , "..a brightly patterned, and glittery..". I think it is not necessary? =p That's probably the obvious one, but I could be wrong ^^"
Oh, and "..an pretty.." should be a pretty ^__^
There are few others, like "and" in the beginning of a sentence and the use of fragments (phrases) instead of sentences. I guess it really matters when you work on a formal writing, but since it's a fan fiction I let it slip xD
Based on the content, I think you are doing great ^__^ the story was fun to read, with easy-to-understand sentence order. It is always a good idea to put blank space to make the whole writing neat <3 plus, using direct speeches make the story comes to life. Another good point I noticed is you can make me actually feel like being the central character of the story. Somehow, I can be the Kira because I can imagine every chain of events vividly on my mind :P That's really good :D it means you can describe really well and create a nice atmosphere <3
those make a really long comment :O
haha. Overall it's a nice writing <3 look forward to read another one~ :D