Light In A Crowd Of Shadows

What the hell am I doing? Usually at this point I’d be laying down looking at the ceiling. But now I’m laying down looking at the sky. Why? Because I’m at a beach party with no one to talk to and nothing to do. I don’t even know how I got here. I wasn’t even informed that this was taking place. In fact I wasn’t even invited, but it was a public beach so no one could say anything. As if they would in the first place. I look at the people around me: jock, jock, jock, cheerleader, and jock. Of course in actual English that translates to: ass, ass, ass, whore, and ass. Probably some of the people who stuff me into my locker. I sit up, brushing my long black hair out of my eyes; if I sit there too long I’ll get burned.

Oh! How rude of me. I never gave a proper introduction. My name is Noah. I’m a 17-year-old male who lies down, stares at the ceiling, and enjoys the company of his shadow. You may be thinking “doesn’t this kid have any friends?” As a mater of fact I do. Friends who are not here at the current moment. So why am I here? Here at this beach party that I wasn’t even invited to? Fate? Chance? God knows. But what I do know is that if I didn’t come here on this day, I would have died a long time ago.

So I’m here at this party, wearing all black, black hair, black and white nail polish on every other nail, trying to find something to do instead of sitting here getting sunburn. I walk along ignoring all the whispers and teases that they think I can’t hear, passing by all the cheerleaders in their skanky bathing suits and jocks trying to hold in their pot bellies. It’s almost like everything is going in fast-forward and I’m stuck in freeze frame. But the thing about being stuck in freeze frame is that you notice things.

And I did notice something. A girl. Probably went to my school but I don’t pay attention to that stuff. She was having fun. And I mean real fun. Not fun like trying to get drunk and get laid, I mean real fun. Short brown hair, crystal blue eyes, and a smile that could break your heart. To bad I hardly had a heart. I didn’t think that noticing her was important so I continued to walk past the cheerleaders and jocks in this 98-degree weather.

I found a shady place to sit and started to relax.
“Hey,” I heard and dismissed.
“Hello,” Some one said with a held out “O” while flicking my head. With no way to possibly ignore them now I turned to see who it was. Remember the girl I noticed? The one who I said was having real fun? It wasn’t her. It was a security guard saying that I had to move. Apparently no one can sit there under terms of private property or something. I started to look for a new spot and I noticed the beach was packed. I found my self thinking, “Where the hell did these people come from?”

I waked over to the front of the water all of the sudden Mrs. Heartbreak Smile pushed me into the water. She said something but I couldn’t hear it clearly. It sounded something like “Cheer the fuck up!” Sitting up I saw that she was pissed. And I have to admit, it was kinda cute.
“Why the hell are you so glum? There’s plenty to do and plenty of time to do it.” She said
“First off, look around, does it look like I belong here? Two, you just pushed me into freezing water. And three, who in the hell are you?”
“My name’s Rein and you really need to relax.”
We kept on fighting as if we were husband and wife. People started to stare as we got louder and louder.

Finally we had no more points to throw at each other so we stopped fighting and gave each other ugly glares. Now, in a sappy romance novel this would be the “kiss and make up” point of the story. But this story takes a much deadlier twist. She kicked me right in the sweet spot.
“What the fuck was that for?” I screamed the best I could.
“My mother always said ‘when a man needs to relax you should kick him in the balls.”
“What kind of logic is that?”
“Good logic.”
Like mother like daughter, I guess. I don’t know anybody who seems to relax by knocking a sledgehammer against his balls but what ever makes him happy. Happy of course was not my emotion.

And on went our bickering.

Suddenly a drunk party goer ran right between us saying random gibberish and tripping face first into the water. By the time we snapped back to reality we completely forgot what we were doing. With nothing to do or say we started laughing. Maybe her ability to have fun was starting to rub off on me.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said, “You told me your name but I didn’t return the favor. My name’s Noah.”
She chuckled a little, saying “you're so polite.” Well yes I am when I need to be. I didn’t want to be rude.
“Thanks for pushing me into the water” I said sarcastically.
“My pleasure.” She responded still joking how polite I was.
I really was glad that she pushed me. She made something happen when nothing could.

Although arguing with her was fun I had more fun when she was happy. And strangely I was happy too.
“All these blonds are so stupid.” She said.
“Why’s that?”
“None of then could get your name right.”
This surprised me. Not that anybody could get my name, but the fact that she actually asked for it.
“They said Nick, Bolah, even Joe.”
This didn’t surprise me.

We sat and talked until sun set and the partygoers started a fire for s'mores. As the wood burned we watched the smoke rise into the air like a bad omen. Rein said that she needed to catch a train home. She was only visiting a cousin that was graduating this year. She, unfortunately, lived two states over. We walked to the station and as we waited for the train we had the last conversation we would have for five years.
“I really had fun today.” I started
“Yea, me too.”
“Well thanks to you I cheered the fuck up.”
“I guess you did.”

The train was unfortunately on time. As she walked into the opening doors I asked, “Rein, will I see you again?” She kissed my cheek and as the doors closed she left with a simple “Yes”. As I watched the train speed down the tracks I wondered if she was lying or not.

But how should I know? I’m just a guy who lies down and looks at the ceiling.

End