Hello, i'm Alex. I am a girl but I want to become male or (Transgender male[FTM]) there are a few things that I would like to make clear now:
1. I still like boys!
2. I am serious about this!
3. I have not gone through any medical treatment yet!
4. I still identify as a girl in real life!
Now that you know this, I will start adding a post maybe every week about me and my life. I STILL DON'T KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS STUFF!!! If you have any questions or anything you would like to say please send me a message ^.^

FTM Update!

Today I told my best friend that I was thinking of becoming a man!!! She took it really well!!! :D She said "Oh... well i'm cool with what ever you want to do. I'll always be your friend no matter what the gender :)" She's so awsome!!! we talked about what i'm going to do about this, if I still like boys, and when would I start it.

I've decided that i'm going to start dressing less like a girl and more like a man soon. I don't know when I want to start identifying as male. I think I will start taking T once i'm out of school, and go from there. :3


I have decided that my male name will be Alexander (Alex for short)!!! If you have any other suggestions for a name then don't hold back!!! :3


I want to find an anime/manga character that has short black hair!!! Please leave some suggestions!!!

My theme song is Jaded by Aerosmith

My life feels like nothing ever changes...
4:30 wake up
6:40 go to school
8:00 school starts
1st period
2nd period
3rd period
4th period
5th period
6th period
3:00 go home
I've been doing this almost every day for about 10 years.

Nothing ever really suprises or excites me, even if my schedule is changed because some one is sick or if i'm going on a trip. I hate it if I get mixed up in other people's affairs (even if the person is close to me). I don't feel like anyone close to me, like someone I would give my life for. I've never felt giddy if a guy kissed me or felt emotionally moved if I thought that a guy liked me or when my guy friends want me to do anything sexual with them (I just say no).

The main thing I ever feel towards anybody is anger. I felt mad at my mom when she went to the hospital. If she wasn't so stuborn and went to the doctors when she first started to feel sick then things wouldn't be so bad now. I was mad at my dad when he gave me $60 instead of $50 like we had decided because We will be needing all the money that we have for mom's medical bills. I was mad at my guy friend Jesse when he found out that his girlfriend was cheating on him, but he wouldn't break up with her. He knew that she had a history of cheating on other guys, yet he still thought that he loved her. I got mad at my friend when she was crying because she thought that she might be pregnant after getting drunk with a bunch of guys and waking up naked. She knew that she gets crazy and strips off her clothes when shes drunk.

I'm just kinda tired of living life like it feels like it's never changing.
P.S. I'm sorry to people for my ranting :3


Hello! I'm sorry for not being here for so long, life has been really crazy for a while. My mom got sick (gaul stones and a gaul blatter infection), I had a bunch of big tests for school (I'm sure that I did pretty good on them) and I got my hair cut (it looks like emo boy hair).

I just got done watching a video of my FTM idol. He's been on testosterone for a year and recently had chest surgery. The more I see how well his transformation has been going the more I feel like thats what I want. For a while I wasn't thinking about it much so I thought that I didn't want it anymore, now I'm sure that I want it. I'm kinda mad at myself because I don't know how to go about starting this. If you have any coments or suggestions then please speak your mind.