strange feelings...

I feel so strange. It's like, warm and fuzzy and all tingly inside. I feel as though every time I think about a certain person, I get all excited and it's like as if there's butterflies in my stomach. Sometimes when I talk to him, and I have to get up and walk somewhere, like when I go over to his desk and I have to go back to mine, I suddenly get all clumsy and end up walking into desks and stuff...just the other day I was talking to him and I almost bumped into a person! I don't know, it's like when I talk to him, my surroundings fade away for awhile and I can only focus on him...do I sound pathetic or what? The thing is, I don't know if I like him, I'm still getting to know him...but the more I get to know him, the more I think I do like him, but some days I'm just not sure. I guess I'm just going to wait and see what happens...hopefully my skin will be strong enough to keep me from exploding in all directions whenever he comes along. haha =^-^=
??????

URGENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CALLING ALL PRO-LIFE PEOPLE!!!!

Are you aware that the conscience protection rights to health care might be taken away? These rights are for medical doctors who, if someone were to ask them to perform an abortion, the doctors have the RIGHT and FREEDOM to say "NO" because it goes against their conscience.

Obama is planning to terminate these rights. That means medical doctors will lose their ability to choose. All of our pro-life doctors would rather go to jail than be forced to perform any type of abortion or euthanasia.

Please help these doctors, and help our nation get rid of this culture of death.

The US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) is inviting public comment on a proposal to rescind an important December 2008 federal regulation that protects the conscience rights of health care providers. Help protect the rights or our pro-life health care professionals and institutions. Please visit www.usccb.org/conscienceprotection to access links to make a comment and find more information. COMMENTS MUST BE POSTED BY APRIL 9, 2009.

Instructions:
1. In the address box, enter www.usccb.org/conscienceprotection
2. click on the box containing "E-mail HHS now"
3. Scroll down and fill in information requested
4. Hit send and you've voted

Please, I am urging you to do this.

Do I still have a grasp???

I can't believe that I still have a grasp on this one guy. If I'd tell him to do something, he just can't say no. But, I totally never believe him when he says yes anyways because he has broken every single one of the promises that he's made to me. Eventually, I just got sick and tired of hoping that maybe one day he'll actually keep a promise and never expected anything out of him...ever. But, with some re-evaluation, I've realized that I think I have something against him, plus, I use him as a way of venting all the frustration and pain that he has ever caused me, and that helps me in way though, because I don't want to be as close as we were before, it's just waaay too unhealthy for me...but it's so tempting. Using him as a way of venting just encourages the distance between us and the want and possible need for me to stay distant from him. He drives me insane! I hate to admit that maybe somewhere in one of my subconsciousnesses feelings of the thought of "more than friends" still remains...I mean, I like him as a friend, but at the same time keeping him as my friend hurts me. Part of me wants to be as close as before, but part of me just wants to have nothing whatsoever to do with him. It's like, all of these crazy things just happen when he is in my mere presence...I just, I don't even want to talk about it anymore.

no stars tonight...

I hate this. It's a sweetly bitter feeling. I do it because I love them and that I care...even if that means causing my self to die to my self. If you know nothing about me, at least know this...I live because my family and friends keep me alive. They are my reason why I go on day by day. I know I can't die because I'd let them down if I do, I have a duty to them, and letting them down is a far more horrible thing for me to experience. But, for this one week, I just wanted to get away from it all, to do things that I want to do for once, and hopefully that of which they'll allow me to go to. It's nothing much, just to attend a talent show, go shopping with a friend, then a friend's birthday party/sleepover. Yesterday didn't go well. I had a few bumps here and there at school, but that didn't really matter. Then, when I got picked up was the problem. My dad and I didn't really get along quite well, and when my mom got home, it was basically the same, just feeding fire to the growing anguish beneath my shell. Then today, it was ok, same as yesterday, a few bumps in the road here and there, and then, more controversy between Dad and I. Followed by some with Mom, it seems as though my siblings are the only ones I've been able to tolerate lately. Then, my dad was "complaining" to me about his work and how mom wasn't able to do the things that she wanted to do today because I was attending the talent show. Then he said no more activities, which I really wanted to let him know that I'm going on a shopping trip tomorrow, but I just couldn't. Seeing him so tired and hearing how it seems as if no one was able to enjoy there day because I was doing something, bothered me. I fear, that I might have to cancel this trip that I have been looking forward to ever since Sunday. This is the reason why I feel I am dying to myself, because a part of me wants them to be happy, therefore I'm happy, but I've been wanting to go on this trip because I feel I need a temporary escape for the moment. I better stop know, there's no point in babbling on and on about my life and complaints and explanations to the people who even bother to read this. By the way, to all of those people, thanks a million.

Lists???

This week has been so full of sexual comments towards me it's interestingly weird. First off, my friends from cf school and I were talking about lists. It was pretty funny actually. Then one of my guy friends was like "Oh ya, Abigail has a list" and I was like "Huh?" and had this smirk on my face. Then he was like "I know you have a list" and I just answered casually "ya...I have a list." It's so funny because I think he thinks I really like him @_@ I used to a long time ago though, but I still think he's cute. Anyways, later on I was telling my best friend about my list, and I think he may have been eavesdropping on us, but I really hope he wasn't...because little does he know, I'm not a hundred percent sure who's on my list. Anyways, fast-forwarding to Wednesday, another one of my guy friends called me sexy and wrote down "playboy bunny" on my paper and told me that that's going to be my future profession. I was like "what?!" and made this face, and he was like "well, technically I'm complimenting you if you think about it" then I was just silent. Then, Thursday. Another one of my guy friends was like "Abigail, will you be my ho?" then I was like "what?" because I didn't hear him, so he repeated and I was like "what kind of question is that?!?" and he was like "a serious one!" and I just laughed and turned around in my desk to face the front again. Then Friday, Another guy friend came up to my table in art, and one of my girl friends had her Naruto book out looking for Japanese characters to help with my best friend's art project, and so he picked it up and started looking at it. Then he was like "why do anime people do that? They make girls' boobs three times larger than I think possible, I mean, really, you don't see Asian girls walking around with them that size you know? I don't think I know any. And I was just working on art and then my best friend was pointing at me and at first it took me awhile to notice, then I was like "Hey!!!! Grrr...well...thanks?...Grrr...
I mean really, what is up with all of this?!?!?!?!?!?! Meow.