GRAMMAR AND SPELLING: One thing very noticeable in the piece is that most of the lines begin with a lowercase letter instead of an uppercase letter. Unless if it has a certain artistic element involved in it, I suggest that every line should begin with an uppercase letter. I was also intrigued by the word "villan". At first, it seemed this was an error in spelling for the word "villain", but some research showed me that the word also referred to the "nominally free inhabitant of a village" during the Norman Conquest (Link here). So even if this was indeed a typographical error, I'll consider it for the other meaning it carried. Lastly, I've decided to accept "disasterful" as a sort of urban slang since, according to the Urban Dictionary, it's a mix of disastrous and masterful (Link here).
COMPLIANCE WITH INSTRUCTIONS: The entry followed the instructions well, so good job on that.
ORIGINALITY: Your lyrics were quite original, though there were some lyrics that were adapted from the original song, especially with the words "purple teardrops" and "cherry pie". However, those words still managed to work with the song.
CLARITY OF INTENDED MESSAGE: The message was quite clear in this song. It was about Sasuke's desire to seek revenge on his brother Itachi. You managed to deliver that message very well. Good job on that.
SMOOTH FLOW OF THE TUNE WITH THE LYRICS: Generally speaking, the lyrics and the tune managed to blend well with each other. Not much of a problem there. However, I seem to have a problem with the lyric "vengeance", because sometimes I feel that its correct pronunciation doesn't seem to fit with the rhythm in which it had been assigned in.
OVERALL: The parody was very good, though it might have been better if the lines had began with an uppercase letter to make it look more classy. Still, the parody was quite fun to sing.
hehe thanks, I tried! Lady Gaga came first, I knew I wanted to make a parody of one of her songs before I chose sasuke. Im glad he fit into it so well!Only problem is now I have it stuck in my head @_@ XD
Music Fairy (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/21/10 | Reply
LOL this is so good!xD
You did capture Sasuke very well in this:P I tried to sing it along on the melody, and it worked^^ So great job, and good luck in the challenge!^___^
The Mask
Detective Mask (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 07/25/10 | Reply
Here are my comments:
GRAMMAR AND SPELLING: One thing very noticeable in the piece is that most of the lines begin with a lowercase letter instead of an uppercase letter. Unless if it has a certain artistic element involved in it, I suggest that every line should begin with an uppercase letter. I was also intrigued by the word "villan". At first, it seemed this was an error in spelling for the word "villain", but some research showed me that the word also referred to the "nominally free inhabitant of a village" during the Norman Conquest (Link here). So even if this was indeed a typographical error, I'll consider it for the other meaning it carried. Lastly, I've decided to accept "disasterful" as a sort of urban slang since, according to the Urban Dictionary, it's a mix of disastrous and masterful (Link here).
COMPLIANCE WITH INSTRUCTIONS: The entry followed the instructions well, so good job on that.
ORIGINALITY: Your lyrics were quite original, though there were some lyrics that were adapted from the original song, especially with the words "purple teardrops" and "cherry pie". However, those words still managed to work with the song.
CLARITY OF INTENDED MESSAGE: The message was quite clear in this song. It was about Sasuke's desire to seek revenge on his brother Itachi. You managed to deliver that message very well. Good job on that.
SMOOTH FLOW OF THE TUNE WITH THE LYRICS: Generally speaking, the lyrics and the tune managed to blend well with each other. Not much of a problem there. However, I seem to have a problem with the lyric "vengeance", because sometimes I feel that its correct pronunciation doesn't seem to fit with the rhythm in which it had been assigned in.
OVERALL: The parody was very good, though it might have been better if the lines had began with an uppercase letter to make it look more classy. Still, the parody was quite fun to sing.
Thanks for participating.
"Students, be ambitious!"
CipherPol
SarhH (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/22/10 | Reply
OMG that is soooooooo good! I hope you win!!!
SaxGirl
Music Fairy (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/22/10 | Reply
@wallpaperotaku:
HahaXD Well that's only a good sign, isn't it?:P
wallpaperotaku
The Hero of Time (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/22/10 | Reply
@SaxGirl:
hehe thanks, I tried! Lady Gaga came first, I knew I wanted to make a parody of one of her songs before I chose sasuke. Im glad he fit into it so well!Only problem is now I have it stuck in my head @_@ XD
SaxGirl
Music Fairy (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/21/10 | Reply
LOL this is so good!xD
You did capture Sasuke very well in this:P I tried to sing it along on the melody, and it worked^^ So great job, and good luck in the challenge!^___^
~S.G~