Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Dear Vincent,

How do I do it? How can I just wake up knowing you are dead and not feel a thing? How do I do it? Every morning you aren't here beside me. I wake up. I live. While my love doesn't. Why is it that my only one is gone, and the whole world keeps going while I'm at a stand-still? I don't understand...If only you were here to make sense of this. Should I move on? Should I replace you? Would my world finally move? Would you still love me? How is it that I manage to smile? How can I force myself to be happy when my only reason to move lies at the bottom of the ocean? You died. I live. You said I couldn't be replaced. While I replace you. You feared nothing. Not death, not violence, not a single thing. While I fear everything that is to come. I fear that everyday without you will cause me more pain then the day before. I fear that I will become the beast. I fear that my world will move without you.
I only see you, but the image is faded and torn. I'm losing you. I just know it. I only see you. I only want you. I want you to be mine always. I don't want to breathe without you. I'll face the ocean if that means I can be with you. How is it that I can't forget you? I wake up without you. I feel nothing. You aren't here. I need you. I can't see straight without you beside me. I love you. Why aren't you here? I miss you. Why aren't you here? I'm alone. Why aren't you here? Why did you leave me? What did I do? I'll fix it. Let me fix it. I'll do anything. I just want you here, Vincent. I'm afraid to die. I don't know what'll happen. I don't where I will go. I don't know what I believe. I can't remember without you. My thoughts left me long ago. When you abandoned me. I'm breaking down to the core. Why aren't you here? You said you would never leave me. Why aren't you here? You said I gave you a reason to live. Why aren't you here? You said you loved me. Why aren't you here? You said you would give your final breath to let me know how much you loved me. Why? Why couldn't you love me less? Why couldn't you show me while you lived? Why did you love me? Why aren't you here?
I'm lost without you. I don't know what to do. I don't know where I should turn. I don't know anything without you. I need you to explain, I'll listen to every word as though it were your last. I'll only see you. I'll be blind to everything, but you. You're all I need to see. There's no greater beauty than your brown eyes, Nothing is better than your smile. No one can beat your beauty. Nothing can touch you while I'm around. I won't let them. Nothing will ever hurt you again. I won't let them. I won't hurt you anymore. I swear it. I only need you. I won't replace you. I'll face my fears. I'll only see you. I'll never leave you. I'll always be yours. I promise. I can't do this alone. Why aren't you here? Come back. Please. I can't do this without you. I'm so alone. I need you here. Or I'll be with you there. It doesn't matter. I just need to be with you always. You mean the world to me.
You're so far away from me. I love everything about you. You're not a sinner. You're my angel. You loved me. You saved me. You held me. You molded me. You gave me a reason. You made me feel alive. You were the reason I loved life. You were my heaven. You were my paradise. You can't find what you already have. We found paradise together. I was yours, and you were mine. We were all we needed. And you're the only medicine to my heartache. I love you, please come back.

Life: 10/25/09 | Posted By: Animaniac6131 | 1 comment