tired

so tired my eyes are shut
any mistake isn't my fault
with closed eyes i write
adn don't double check my faults
from the heart my words come
from my mind they show themselves
oh i wish you guys knew
but to only know was my mistake
mistakes not here but in
my life instead i stand here
i seee myself alone but
it's her... she has always been here
besiede me even though sometimes i forget
simple mistakes lead to hurt
but more than anything i deserve to be the one hurt
and time flies and as they move closer
time to say goodbye hasn't come but to leave without a word has

scared

i hide it all
i keep it in my mind
i don't let anyone know
i'm alone though
protected by only me
healing takes so long
maybe healing isn't possible
yet i'm very capable
i'm not sure of my power
sometimes i underestimate myself
i've done things that even i don't believe
and in the end i'm just plain scared of me

i don't know

live life to the fullest?
jump fences and steal peaches?
well actions do not reflect who someone is anymore
sometimes your thoughts reflect who you really are
sometimes you are no one but most of the time somebody
and this is very interesting i share my thoughts with
all of you but i sometimes wonder who really values them?
i would because everything has a hidden message

fake love

i love you is what i hear
hurt is what i get out of it
i get confused and fall deep
every time this happens
my words and my actions don't
make much sense anymore
they tell me that they need me
but they really don't show it
i walk and try to speak to them
but they leave me for someone else
this person is new so i really don't
care much, but i cry for i have lost
i have lost my love if i had it in
the first place but now its gone
so it doesn't matter but to feel better
i would call it fake love

restless

restless in the sense
of lack of sleep i am this
now i keep going regardless of
if i have some kind of future
i cannot sleep ever calls
come from every direction and
different ways i answer them
and then i fall unconscious but
i never rest though i see people
come and go i stay right here
i'm tired of everything so
violent and destructive i have
really become so time wastes
and forever i'm lost

well today at school some dude tried to mess up my hair and since i wasn't having i good day i tapped his stomach and when he looked down i punched him on his face then i said sorry bad day then i walked away and he was all dazed which later i thought it was funny but lately i have just been provoked to take bad decisions like this