Welcome, friends! This is basically my life update world, where I pour all the crap going on in my life at the moment. I don't expect people to give this place much attention, to be honest. Well, make yourself at home, anyway!

In Loving Memory...

On this day, we lost a wonderful member of our family. Our cat Spike - just 4 years old - passed away. He had a urinary tract infection, and we had no money to help him with. He suffered for three days, before he passed. I kept telling myself, “He’ll be okay. He’s a strong cat. The first one didn’t kill him. He’ll live.” but I knew deep in my heart that his days were numbered. As I type this, it really is soaking in that I never see him again. I’ll never feel his soft fur, or hug him when I’m sad… ever again…
I miss him so much already. My precious baby boy… I’ll never see him… again. I don’t believe in God, but if he does exist, then heaven just got a new angel. Farewell, my dearest. I’m so sorry there wasn’t a thing we could have done. I felt powerless and sad the entire time you were sick. I’m just glad you aren’t suffering anymore.

Unwelcome Guests

So, one of my Mom's cousins (I hesitate to call her my own) is staying at our house for a couple of days. I do not like her very much. No, in fact, I don't like her at all. So, what I planned to do is this:
I'll hide away in my room and play Katawa Shoujo and watch Game Grumps until she leaves.

I mean, what else can I do? I don't want to talk to her, see her, or even be in the same room as her at all.

I'm Gonna Do It!!

I've been thinking about this for a while, and as anxious as it makes me, I can't live this way forever. I'm going to have my Mom help me apply for a job. One cannot hope to move forward if they do not push for progress! And, even though this directly challenges my social anxiety, and I don't believe I'm strong enough to handle it at this moment, I have to do something. My Mom, with her bad back, is in so much pain these days. I can't stand to see her that way. I have to pick up my own slack, because nobody is going to do it for me. Now, there's just the matter of getting Mom alone, so I can discuss it with her ^^;

(I'm not comfortable discussing these things with my dad/in his presence.)

Parents are Scary

It's certainly been a while since I've written an entry. Lots has gone on, recently. Sad to say, most of it has be bad. We're still needing for money, and food, and such. Mom and Dad have been arguing more that usual, and it's worrying me. I wrote a letter to my parents the other day, detailing how I'm feeling, what's going on with me, and how I got to be that way. I've never been good with conveying my feelings verbally, so I figured a letter would do a better job. You hesitate less when the written word is where you're most comfortable. I told them all about my social-anxiety, and the bullying I endured in school, and how I was feeling weak as a result. I tried my best to make them understand my yearning to grow stronger. They haven't talked to me about it yet, and it makes me nervous. Did they understand? Did I get my point across? Are they having trouble getting it? Ugh, I'm making myself nervous thinking about it. Well, they've never truly encountered social-anxiety in it's purest form, so I suppose it would be hard to understand for them. Especially for my Dad, who's always looked at the world through tunnel vision. He's so set in his ways, I'm surprised he isn't a statue, as a result. Well, I think he's been softened, actually. The other day he told me I'd find that special someone "whether they were male or female", and that's definitely something. It's going to be a wonderful time explaining to him that I don't want a special someone. Anyway, we'll cross that road when we get there. That's it for now, I guess. Ciao!

Some Happy Stuff c:

Well, most of the time I post sad/negative stuff on here, so here's some happy stuff! It snowed/sleeted/hailed yesterday - and I mean like non-stop. It was banaynays. But, today, my nephew got to play in it before he went home!

There he is c: He's two!
Isn't he adorable? His name is Kaden c:

Also, I downloaded this free art program called FireAlpaca, and it's amazing! It's perfect for me, who uses a mouse, because I can hold shift, and click to make straight lines ;w; and if you do ctrl + alt and drag your mouse pointer, it changes the brush size! The canvas is a bit small, but I'm okay with that.
You can get it here, and I recommend you do! I have't drawn anything with it yet, because I'm still in the "messing around and getting acquainted" stages, but I'll certainly post what I do draw!
That's about it for now. c: