Sometimes I think I'm always surrounded and connected. By my friends, and family, and pets. By computers, and iPods, and cellphones. But other times I wonder...
Am I really connected, or am I more alone?
What would it be like with out all that? Maybe high on a mountain, over looking the sound, or a forest. I always feel more in touch when I get a few minutes here and there alone. More connected to myself and my world. My thoughts. My feelings.
What would it be like to be alone. Just me, by myself. Not always, but sometimes. I'm always connected, always interacting with others. I wonder what it would be like to stop. To go somewhere far away from the city, with a note book, and myself. Somewhere far from others.
You know, it's funny how lonely you can be in a crowd. I always feel alone in a crowd, or at a dance. That's why I hate them. I feel disconnected to my world. I can't think clearly, and it scares me. I see everyone else, with all their friends, hanging out and having fun.
The other night we were driving through the city to get home. I felt so lonely, and scared, and alone. Utterly alone. But I was surrounded by people and things. But when I was up in the mountains, and the only human in earshot or sight, I felt wonderful. Happy, and fresh, and connected to myself.
What if, being alone isn't being unsurrounded by others. What if it's being unsurrounded by yourself.
