Enjoy some ass getting kicked.


"I've been cooped up with these idiots for far too long." A gruff voice said. "This is going to be fun."

"Hope you're not referring to me as an idiot, Stitchman!" A whinier voice responded. "'Cause you're stuck with me!"

The gruffer man chuckled. "For once, no. But don't do anything stupid this time like losing your head." He paused. "Again."

"Shaddap!" The whinier one shrieked back. "It was one time!"

Standing off in the treeline, was Keisuke, and he was seething. Before him was the man who'd murdered his uncle, and next to him was the bounty hunter who wanted to turn his closest family member into coin. Naruto'd given him the assignment knowing he'd want to exact revenge. And he was right. He was going to send them both to hell.

Stepping out from his spot, he cracked his knuckles and regarded the two Akatsuki in front of him. "I take it you two are the "Zombie Duo", whichever one of you's the Jashinist shit, I'm taking you out first."

Keisuke knew perfectly well that the "Jashinist shit" was the silver haired man. With his twisted grin and his purple eyes. Shikamaru gave him the description, knowing that there could be a time when he escaped his solitude buried beneath ten feet of dirt. This time, it would be Keisuke's chance to make that Hidan squirm.

"Oh?" The Jashinist exclaimed, turning to face Keisuke. "And who the fuck are you!"

Beside him, Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "Oh here we go."

Clenching his fists at his sides, Keisuke bit out, "Keisuke Sarutobi. You killed my uncle a few years back."

"Ohhhhhh." Hidan continued in a slightly uninterested tone.

Keisuke's eye twitched but he kept his cool. "And to keep the scrooge interested, there's a 100 Million Ryo bounty out on my head." He paused and smirked. "So don't hold back ladies."

"I don't plan to." Kakuzu growled in his deep voice.

"Yeah! Me neither!" Hidan chimed in.

Again, Keisuke cracked his knuckles. "Good. It's not revenge if you don't put up a fight."

Clearly ready to get things going, the Jashinist pointed his scythe at Keisuke. "You won't be exacting any revenge here!"

Keisuke shrugged, a smirk on his face. "I don't know, the guy who kicked your ass the last time and buried you in a pit is a pretty good friend of mine."

The corner of Hidan's eye twitched. "SHADDAP YOU DAMN BRAT!"

Satisfied by his reaction, Keisuke smirked and pulled two of his ash kunai out of his pouch. He threw them at Hidan without blinking, and he dodged them easily.

"You're too cocky, kid!" Hidan laughed just as Keisuke appeared in front of him and he dealt a massive blow to his cheek, sending the Jashinist about half a mile into the forest.

Standing and wiping off his cheek, Hidan smiled. "Damn! You might be stronger than Kakuzu!"

Kakuzu made a disagreeing sound.

"Maybe you've just gotten weak in your retirement!" Keisuke called back.

Snickering, Kakuzu spoke up. "If you two have finished your pissing contest I'd like to collect my bounty."

"PISS OFF OLD MAN." Hidan yelled, raising his middle finger to his partner.

Back where he started, Keisuke snickered. "Awww, it's almost as if you're married."

Immediately after letting out his snarky remark Keisuke began weaving hand signs. Slowly his usual bit of ash started spilling out of his mouth. He blew out a significant amount aimed at both of them, surrounding them in a dense grey cloud.

"I remember this trick!" Hidan almost said with glee as both he and Kakuzu dodged.

Using the cover of the cloud, Keisuke threw two of his exploding kunai and kept the string they were attached to in his mouth. Not that the other two could see it. Hidan deflected the kunai while Kakuzu grabbed hold of one, something Keisuke'd hoped he'd do.

"You really think these are going to work against us?" Kakuzu exasperated.

Keisuke just smirked as he clenched his teeth, causing the spark to ignite the ash, and blowing it up right in Kakuzu's hand. "They're my own special invention, kunai made out of gunpowder*. One little spark and boom. You're history."

A little dumbfounded, Hidan mumbled a quiet, "Shit!"

But instead of Kakuzu getting put down for the count, he was still standing as if nothing had even happened. Much less like an explosive had gone off near his face. "Hidan, let's get this over with." He grumbled.

"How did that not-!" Hidan started. "Oh whatever, you freak me out." He directed at his partner.

Ignoring Hidan, Keisuke continued his smart ass remarking. "Like this'll end soon. I'm not letting that freak get a drop of my blood."

The Jashinist smirked. "So that Shikamaru kid told you how the Jashin circle worked!" He laughed. "Not that it'll help you!"

Keisuke rolled his eyes. "Will you just shut up."

Growing both impatient and irritated, Keisuke kicked off his legs weights.

"Don't tell me what to do brat!" Hidan yelled, wagging his finger at Keisuke. Only to have him vanish, reappear two inches from him, and give Hidan a swift uppercut to the underside of his jaw. The force of the impact caught Hidan off guard so he stumbled and rubbed his chin. "Fuckin'-! How are you so fast?" He growled.

"Leg weights." Keisuke answered blandly, having already separated from him. "And didn't I tell you to shut your trap?"

"Like I'd listen to you!" The Jashinist yelled, smiling widely and running at the young Sarutobi. "I'll singlehandedly wipe out your entire clan, just because I feel like it would be fun!"

'That's it you fucking bastard.' Keisuke growled, meeting Hidan halfway and holding off his scythe with a kunai. "I'm gonna cut out your vocal chords if you don't shut the fuck up."

At Keisuke's threat, Hidan just laughed. The deranged psycho planted his foot on Keisuke's abdomen and kicked him back a few feet before jumping up in the air and bringing his scythe down on him. Keisuke grunted at the impact though he'd stopped it with his kunai again. Con's of the ash kunai though, they could be cut through. So Keisuke quickly pulled out a regular kunai in case the other broke.

With his two weapons he kept the Jashinist at bay, pushing him back and slicing at his face. And wanting to keep as much distance between them as possible he jumped into the air and landed several feet away. But it was too late.

Licking his tongue across the tip of his scythe, Hidan smiled. "Let's end this in your blood, shall we?"

"Fuck." Keisuke winced. Looking to his arm where he'd been nicked. He knew there had to be some disadvantage to not being able to feel pain.

Without hesitating, Keisuke smeared the blood off his arm and began weaving hand signs for a summon. All the while he kept his eyes on Hidan as he drew his circle with Keisuke's blood. Meaning any damage he did to himself, would be inflicted onto the young Sarutobi.

As he finished the hand signs and slammed his palm into the ground Keisuke's usual summon joined the fight. It was Emu, the grandson of his grandfather's summon; Enma.

"What's the plan here?" Emu muttered to him.

Keisuke narrowed his eyes as the circle was finished and Hidan raised one of his implements. "Adamatine Transformation. We need to get him out of that circle and hack him to bits."

Emu looked up at the deranged silverette. "That the bastard who killed Asuma?" Keisuke nodded. "Then I'm going to enjoy this."

"You and me both, brother."

Before Hidan could finish his ritual Keisuke quickly began weaving hand signs again. When he was done, Emu suddenly disappeared into a cloud of smoke and was replaced by a pair of nunchucks. Keisuke snatched them out of the air and performed the full variation of the jutsu: Transformation technique; Adamantine Nunchucks. With that he extended the nunchucks to whallop Hidan in the gut, sending him out of his circle.

"Fuck!" Hidan yelled, clearly winded.

"Alright Emu, before he catches his breath," Keisuke said maliciously brandishing his uncles old chakra blades, "let's teach this fucker not to mess with my clan again."

Emu transformed back into himself, grinning down at his summoner. "Sounds like a party!"

The two opened the first of the Eight Gates, the Gate of Opening, and charged at Hidan. Using their enhanced speed the Jashinist had no idea what hit him before he was cut to ribbons and growling angrily at their feet. But sadly he was only just a head. And they were as pleased as can be.


Smirking at each other, Emu and Keisuke bumped fists before Emu vanished again. Only this time he didn't return. Keisuke was left alone with his second opponent. He turned to him with a wicked grin.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Stitchy."