She 'aint nothing a girl you've ever seen before,
Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood whore,
I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl,
Without being disrespectful
October 4 2009
Time: 2:37PM
Mood: ??
Music: Sexy Bitch - David Guetta Ft. Akon
So, last night was fun. It was Brad's party, and my brother was gonna go, but there were n "chicks" there, so he didn't Plus, he was dead tired. So, at 12:52AM the doorbell rings, and I'm like, "Chris, answer the door, it's probably your friends." Aldo, I didn't want to answer it because I had bed head.
And it is. His wasted friends, Brad, Justin, and Brian. Nikko was there, he just wasn't wasted. So I go back to my room, and they go to Strath, then they come back, and Brad comes to my room and says, "Jessica, come downstairs I'm gonna sing karaoke!" Remember, he was wasted.
But, whatever, I go down anyways. Brian's sleeping in the middle of the basement, snoring pretty loudly, Nikko's playing Call of Duty 5, Justin's sleeping on the couch, hugging a pillow, mumbling 'baby' over and over again, Brad's singing some song, sitting on the table, I'm sitting on the table, too, laughing.
My brother kept trying to get them to leave, but they just wouldn't. Brad tried to smuggle my cat in his coat, and some fruits. He ate oatmeal, and tried to smuggle Brian's cat too. He would've gotten away with it, if the tail wasn't dangling from his coat.
My brother freaked, because of something that Brad asked, and I couldn't stop laughing. When they finally left, Brad was half awake and Justin forgot his backpack. I fell asleep a little after that and when I wake up this morning, I'm like "I had a dream that Brad sang karaoke," and my brother says, "That wasn't a dream." So I start laughing all over again.
My brother's friends are funny when they're wasted. I would've hated to be them when they woke up.
Anyways, I'm off.
Ecstasy &&Small Socks
xo.xo
Jess <3<3
Answers are Underlined
1. smoked.
2. consumed alcohol.
3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.
4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex. Not like, that sleep. Swear to God, I'm straight.
5. kissed someone of the same sex.
6. had sex.
7. had someone in your room other than family.
8. watched porn. I was forced.
9. bought porn.
10. tried drugs.
TOTAL: 4
So far: 4
1. taken painkillers.
2. taken someone else's prescription medicine.
3. lied to your parents.
4. lied to a friend.
5. snuck out of the house.
6. done something illegal.
7. felt hurt.
8. hurt someone.
9. wished someone to die. Never meant it.
10. seen someone die.
TOTAL: 9
So far: 13
1. missed curfew.
2. stayed out all night.
3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.
4. been to a therapist.
5. been to rehab
6. dyed your hair.
7. received a ticket.
8. been in an accident.
9. been to a club.
10. been to a bar
TOTAL: 3
So far: 16
1. been to a wild party. Silly string, Bitches!
2. been to a Mardi Gras parade.
3. drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night.
4. had a spring break in Florida.
5. sniffed anything
6. wore black nail polish
7. wore arm bands.
8. wore t-shirts with band names.
9. listened to rap.
10. owned a 50 Cent CD.
TOTAL: 5
So far: 21
1. dressed gothic.
2. dressed girly.
3. dressed punk.
4. dressed grunge.
5. stole something.
6. been too drunk to remember anything.
7. blacked out.
8. fainted.
9. had a crush on a neighbor.
TOTAL: 6
So far: 27
1. had a crush on a friend.
2. been to a concert.
3. dry-humped someone.
4. been called a slut.
5. called someone a slut.
6. installed speakers in your car.
7. broken a mirror.
8. showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
9. brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.
TOTAL:5
So far: 32
1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.
3. cruised the mall.
4. skipped school.
5. had surgery.
6. had an injury.
7. gone to court.
8. walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping.
9. caught something on fire.
10. lied about your age.
TOTAL: 7
So far: 39
1. owned/rented an apartment/house.
2. broke the law in the police's presence.
3. made out with someone who had a gf/bf
4. got in trouble with the police.
5. talked to a stranger.
6. hugged a stranger.
7. kissed a stranger.
8. rode in the car with a stranger.
9. been harassed.
10.been verbally harassed.
TOTAL: 4
So far: 43
1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.
2. stayed online for 5+ hours straight. I was asleep for most of it.
3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
4. watched TV for 5 hours straight.
5. been to a fair.
6. been called a bad influence.
7. drank and driven.
8. prank-called someone.
9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex. Sat on him, too.
10. cheated on a test.
TOTAL: 8
So far: 51
Grand Total: 51
If you have less than 10, write "I'm a goody-goody"
If you have more than 10, write "I'm still a goody goody"
If you have more than 20, write "I'm average"
If you have more than 30, write "I'm a bad kid"
If you have more than 40, write "I'm a very bad influence"
If you have more than 50, write "I'm a horrible person"
If you have more than 60, write "I should be in jail"
If you have more than 70, write "I should be dead"
I know she hopes I choke on this last drink,
Drop dead before my influence gets to her head,
She said, "I'll love you forever, or find something better,
It's all just the same as when we sleep together,
We wake up with headaches, and trouble remembering,
What went wrong."
September 14 2009
Time: 5:26PM
Music: The Party Scene - All Time Low
Mood: Content
So, today was a good day. I saw Maty! I haven't seen him in so long. For the first day, he went to Lincoln to try it out, but since it didn't work out, he came back! And he's in my class. That makes me happy :)
Kay, so. Today was also pretty awkward for me, anyways. See, we had to do this fire drill line practice in my homeroom. I was in front because my name starts with an A, then it was Alix, then Karla, and so on and so forth.
But Alix was like CRAZY close to me. Hardly even half a step away. And boy, did his breath smell good. And then he said something that only I could hear. No it was not "I wanna rape you," though I was hearing that in my head. He was super close. Like if I turned to face him, our chests would be touching close. That's pretty damn close.
See, he constantly teases me about something in french, so now, french class is officially my "favourite" class. But I actually had to lean back, he was that close. And he seemed totally okay with it. The closeness, I mean.
So, in the actual fire drill thing practice outside, he was still like dangerously close. So after talking to him for a bit, he went to the back and I started talking with Karla, and she actually thinks he likes me. Which is kinda awkward.
And Conner M. is always asking me about him. Like if I've seen him, or talked to him, or if he was at his locker. But it was the way he said it. Like he knew something. Kinda peculiar, if you ask me.
A couple nights ago I had a dream that some guy raped me, and I was crying at Drew's with Rebecca and Drew. And then I died after a piano fell on me. Kinda a weird dream.
Oh, Erin and Madison got into a huge fight/ And it's completely terrible because they're like really, really close. But now they're not friends. And it's not one of those "Oh, they'll make-up tomorrow" fights. It was one of those fights that just scream "Fuck off. I'm not talking to you."
Now, I have no experience with those types of fights. Because I've never gotten into one that big, but wow. I'm so fucking worried.
She's a super freak, super freak!
VIVA VIAGRA!
Who's seen that commercial? It's fucking orgasmic.
Not to mention, catchy. You gotta love penis enlargement commercials.
God, has anyone noticed that everybody's such a -- excuse my use of the word -- fag in grade six? I mean, even I was one. And it just pisses me off so much. And I have no idea why. It just does.
Kole's hilarious. I love him :]
I gotta go write.
Safe Sex &&Fast Beats
xo.xo.
Jess <3<3
He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes,
Started making his way past two in the morning,
He hasn't been sober for days.
He sat up, once again trying to get rid of his dreams of her. He couldn't get the girl out of his head. Every corner he turned, everywhere he looked, everybody he saw, he saw her. What was she doing to him? He would always ask himself.
He willed himself out of bed and slipped on his shoes. He would go to the bar again, get drunk, and forget about her for another sleepless night. Her face kept popping up in his mind, her smile that he had adored so much, her beautiful blue eyes that hid nothing and everything at the same time.
She had told him she didn't believe in love, but he was too naive and wound up to believe her.
Leaning now into the breeze,
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees,
They had breakfast together,
But two eggs don't last,
Like the feeling of what he needs.
"Alexander Gaskarth!" she shrieked, when I had literally picked her up from work. I shifted her on my shoulder and she laughed as I carried her all the way to my car. "You know my boss will probably fire me, for this right? We haven't even been apart for five minutes," she laughed.
"That maybe true, but after I dropped you off, I saw this amazing little breakfast place and I knew I had to take you there," I told her, kissing her lightly on her nose before moving to climb into the driver's side.
"Again? One of these days, you're gonna be obese and I'm gonna force you to write your will," she told me, pulling off her most serious face.
"Please. I have a very high metabolism, I'll have you know. Besides, I refuse to have man boobs," I said, determined.
"And I have a job. That I should be doing. Get my drift?" she asked as we pulled into the small building's parking lot.
He took in a big gulp of his drink before setting it down again. This being his second bottle of beer. "Alex, you gotta slow down on the booze, man. You'll find her eventually," his friend Jack Barakat told him.
"You don't get it. You've never been this in love with a girl before. She's not coming back," he told him, dejectedly. "Her neighbors told me all I needed to hear. She moved and she wasn't even going to tell me." He frowned when he went to take another drink, but found his bottle was empty.
He got the bartender to give him another one, and popped the cap open. "You're being irrational, Alex. Just stop drinking, and we'll think logical," his other friend Zachary Merrick told him.
"No! No, thinking logical! Don't you see? This is hopeless!" Alex yelled. The bartender shot him a stern look, telling him to keep it down. The tipsy man wasn't in the least bit threatened. Over the past few days, he'd been kicked out of bar, after bar. All because of the woman he loved so much.
"It's not hopeless, Alex," Rian Dawson told him, taking the beer from him before he could take another drink, "You're just afraid that she might reject you. That she might've found somebody else."
Alex sighed, knowing that they were right.
-
[Juliet Simms:]
I'm not coming back,
(Forgive me)
I've done something so terrible,
I'm terrified to speak,
(I'm not calling, I'm not calling)
But you'd expect that from me,
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt, now the rain is just,
(You're driving me crazy, I'm)
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind,
Keeping an eye on the world,
From so many thousands of feet off the ground, I'm over you now,
I'm at home in the clouds, and towering over your head.
She closed her eyes tightly, trying to get rid of all the memories of him. His smile, his eyes, his everything. She pushed away all the images of him strapping her in his car, just to get ice cream or breakfast. She pushed away the images of him that night where she had offered him her everything.
She opened her eyes once again, to look out on the clouds, to see the blue skies, and all the ant sized buildings that were once so familiar to her. This was her last resort. She would leave Los Angeles, and leave him, too.
Moving from her old home did no good, so she would leave LA all together. She would leave all the people she had loved, and she would leave all the many memories buried in the back of her mind.
She fiddled with the large sunglasses that lay resting in her lap. She would move to Canada. Start a whole new life, new job, meet new people, and forget about him. Get rid of everything that reminded her of him. It all sounded easy, but she knew it was going to be the hardest thing she'd ever do.
She was terrified of the feelings that overwhelmed her whenever she saw him. She was terrified, because he had gotten what he had wanted all along. He had gotten her to love him, and that scared her to no end. She was incapable of love, she told herself. It was a phase, it'll pass, she repeated. But why was the small voice in her head telling her to go back for him?
She pushed the voice away, many times. There was no way she would go back for him. The cold words she told him before moving away. He wouldn't want her anymore. He would find another girl; a better girl, and he would move on. Leaving her to wonder about what could have been had she stayed.
She lay her head against the hard surface of the plane's window. This was not how she had pictured it to end. She had pictured it to be nothing more then a small fling. She didn't picture herself to be running from the only thing that had made her happy in such a long time. She didn't picture herself falling in love.
-
Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces,
He pleads though he tries,
But he's only denied,
Now he's dying to get inside.
He stumbled over his feet, tripping and falling to his knees in another drunken state. He pushed himself off the cement and looked up at the house that had once been occupied by her. He moved subconsciously towards the house and knocked.
His neighbors opened the door once again, only for him to be disappointed when he saw it wasn't her. It hadn't been her for days, why had he thought this time it might've been different? They didn't need to say anything, they just shook their heads and closed their door once again.
The neighbors said she moved away,
Funny how it rained all day,
I didn't think much of it then,
But it's starting to all make sense,
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds,
Are following me in my desperate endeavor,
To find my whoever, wherever she may be.
He didn't feel the tears falling from his cheeks, he didn't feel the raindrops falling on his shoulders and head, he didn't feel his feet drag him home, and he didn't feel himself collapsing on his bed, passing out from all the alcohol he had consumed.
-
When he woke up in the morning, he squinted and held his head, sitting up. The light pouring in from his window churned his headache even more, and he grabbed the aspirin that lay on his bedside table, as usual. Zack would always leave the aspirin, Jack would always make sure to open the windows, and Rian would always leave the water.
He swallowed the aspirin and water, then got out of bed to change. Another dreamless night spent passed out from booze. He felt pathetic. He wasn't happy with himself, and he rest of the band all saw it. He no longer made jokes on stage, and he didn't put all his energy in singing anymore. Not since she left.
Why had he let himself get close to her? He asked himself, pulling on a t-shirt, and then a pair of black skinny jeans. Why hadn't he just let her go? It would've been so much more simple. He yanked on his black beanie and trudged out of his room.
Tonight he would play once again, then go out to another bar and again drown out his memories with alcohol.
-
After the concert he had made himself look like an idiot. Jumping off stage, just because he saw some girl that had resembled her, how could you do that, Alex? He asked himself. Of course it wasn't her. She wouldn't be seen here. She wouldn't want to be seen here. He was stupid, pathetic, and hopeless. Falling for a girl that he knew would never fall back.
When he made it back stage, Jack was waiting there, sweaty, but with a big grin on his face. "We have a surprise for you!" he exclaimed.
"I don't like surprises," Alex deadpanned. That was a lie, he -- in honesty -- loved surprises. Just not anymore.
"Nonsense. We all know you love surprises! Besides, this one is very, very, very special." Jack nudged him in the ribs with his elbow, the grin still on his face. Alex said nothing but followed him quietly somewhere. When he saw a girl turned with her back facing him, he frowned and looked at Jack.
"Is this your special surprise? Because I'm really not into prostitution," he told him.
Zack came over, with a roll of his eyes. "It's not a prostitute, Alex. It's the answer to your problems."
"I told you it wasn't hopeless!" Rian pipped up.
When the girl turned, Alex's breath got caught in his throat. There she was. With her big blue eyes that he had stared into many times before, her long, flowing black hair that he had ran his fingers through over and over again. Her button nose and thin, pink lips that he loved to kiss.
Even though she doesn't believe in love,
He's determined to call her bluff,
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut.
She was there. Standing right in front of him, and he wished with everything he had that this was far from one of his dreams.
"I love you, Alexander Gaskarth," she whispered, a soft smile on her face.
"I knew you were a bluff." Alex grinned before kissing the lips that he loved so much.
Funny.
It was even a Sunday.
-
So, this is my first attempt at a fan-fiction. Normally, I hate them. Unless they're really good. I actually found this fun to write. I didn't use all the lyrics, I just put some where they fit.
Yes, the song has a sad ending, but I just couldn't do that to Alex. I mean, have you seen him? Hot stuff, right there.
It's for Troublesum Shika's challenge. So, criticize it, love it, whatever. Just don't plagiarize it. Nobody likes a copy cat.
Happy Face ! :)
xo.xo
Jess <3<3
