Irrational Hate

I really need confirmation right now.
If not I might lose my mind again.

I am starting to hate who I am, and I should'nt. It's all because of Verny Vern and her biased concept of personality. I am ashamed of who I am, and I feel like I can do nothing but sit in the bathroom and drown in my own blood.

Aside from that, this day is too slow. I need to eat and do some chores. After that I hope I get some sleep.
I really want to hurt some people in this school, if only I could. I desperately need to go to Mock Trial tomorrow, I'm bored and irritated. Instead of forcing myself to laugh it off, I'll just ride it out; don't worry I won't slit my wrists. I wish I could get some sleep, and I thankfully got some since school was delayed once again (Even though it should'nt have been).

Most eventful part of today is that I have to do this assignment in English. We have to enter a poem and an essay for this contest; winner gets grants for college and stuff...At first it was optional, and I didn't think I should because I am a sucky writer, but now I have to. I was thinking about entering "The Hidden Monsters Within" (If it fit the qualifications) but I don't really want to. Don't want to have to pull up my account and stuff, don't want people in my business. Instead I'm making this other one called "Blend". I hope it'll be worthy of something; I don't know what I'm going to do the essay on. I was thinking that I was gonna do it on a tragedy sparked from ignorance and hate. No, not the death of Marcus Jones. I'm finished 'grieving' him, but I still hope his sould, God rest it, is at peace.

Still. I hate my school, I hate the people I'm around, I hate the way my Uncle's mother talks to me, and I hate alot of other things.
But that hate does not corrupt my thinking. I've crunched yet another song (for some reason, my iPod is messed up) and I hope I can make it this worlds' theme...But it is probably too extreme for a PG-13 site. I doubt it, though, I PM'd Adam and he should give me the Yay or Ne on it.

Only hold love for Jesus and y'all.
And my mother and father.
Enjoy the rest of your days.