Currently experiencing Introduction difficulties....Will fix soon.
Until then, enjoy the theme song of TDE and the best picture of a chameleon ever found on Google.
(Instead of elevator music, this is here)
- Created By TheDarkEclipse
Alot of Time On These Hands & Making Peace In a Violent Place
I have a lot of time on my hands, but I don't know how to spend it. I will try to do that quiz thing that I have neglected because this weekend, I have a lot to do. Well, today was a decent day. Not great, not horrid, decent....As Usual
Y'know...In some ways, I have not changed much.
Today was a lot better than usual.
But the reason behind that is making me hate myself.
Yeah, I'm referring to previous post.
I haven't said stuff like that in a while, and I'm not proud of it.
What's worse is that I felt better afterwards. It makes me sick to my stomach 'cuz I feel downright dirty for it.
That was some dark, emo shit just then.
I am not proud of it at all, but at least I feel better.
That's all that matters in the end, I guess.
Tomorrow I have to present my speech for Treasurer.
I'm a bit nervous, but I am a little bit psyched about it.
I feel like a torrent of pride is swirling around me!
I know that sounds corny and stupid, but I don't care.
Still, I feel bad about what I said. Everyone please disregard it, I just suck sometimes.
I'm not perfect, I know, but it just makes me feel horrid.
Let me get off of this topic.
RIGHT!
I've been watching "Romeo x Juliet". Ugh! It is a torture chamber!!!
I am not the romance fan at all, to me, the genre is outdated and dull.
But setting my petty and childish feelings aside, the anime is actually pretty freaking good.
The animation is great, the voice acting is superb...The hardest part about that anime is the dialogue. It's pretty trippy, but it helps me read the book with a bit more ease.
NEXT
....Nothing.
WAIT!
I really want to get this episode done, but WHY am I so busy!!!?
This weekend is completely booked for me.
Life sucks sometimes.
Now I can't wait 'till summer, I just want a break!!
And my summer plans have switched up, I will be taking the SATs at church instead of school. It is being staged at the church for a cheaper price than the offer at school. Plus, I don't think I'll be doing the story with Jailyn. I cannot tell you the reasons but, it is now up to time to tell the rest of the story.
P.S:
Pockie Ninja is sucking!!!!
Feeling Like Shit
Not really, I just had a bad day.
I was still a bit angry, and the day I had really didn't help much.
I just came to school knowing that I wasn't going to have a good day, and I had already woken up on the wrong side and was feeling cranky so it was just inevitable.
The girl from 1st period...We had a small clash, after that, nothing.
Not really enough to make my day worse, but it went down-hill later.
ROTC, I got some laughs, but I was still depressed.
(I also got some more signatures. I am 7 away from being eligible.)
But on my way to 3rd period, I almost got into a fight. But I backed down (a smash to my pride, but fuck it.) but I had to...If I got suspended it would look bad for me running for treasurer.
But after that, my anger was possessing me.
It was messed up.
I was so angry, I punched another wall, I haven't done that in (it feels like, even though I did about 2 weeks ago) months!
And when I do, I don't hit it like I'm serious! I've worked so hard to control myself, and it feels like my tower just got its rubble rocked.
What pissed me off the most is that I was feeling my control being sapped from me, slowly, painfully, aggressively.
It felt like a dark demonic version of myself was pulling me into an abyss of darkness...I was staring down at the monster in me. He was just tempting me as if he was Nine-Tails...To go back down that path.
I really hate myself for that.
It makes me feel inadequate and worthless.
Even though I've tried to crack a smile on my face, it would be somewhat fake.
Eventually, I calmed down, but I am still feeling bummed.
I just really want next Friday to come so I can do some work here. Write that episode, post that little surprise that I had...Stuff like that.
I can't do it during weekdays, I have too much to do.
That's all on my mind now
Love y'all
Good night.
I Cannot Lie About What I've Done
I have never been a person who sugarcoats anything.
I prefer too tell the truth as much as I possibly can.
Today was not the brightest day, but as always, your dear friend over here will survive.
What I cannot do, though, is keep doing what I'm doing. I'm trying to be a better person. Emphasis on trying, because according to my harsh OCD drill-sergeant standards, I cannot do it.
I get angry a lot, and people are testing my patience at school.
If you have previously been paying attention, you might be able to decipher why I am irritated.
It is Juan again. I really cannot stand him.
Now that I remembered this song ("Fuck You" by Archive), that's a little bit how I feel about him. Except I am not the type of person to ever say the phrase "You're going to hell."
I just can't stand him, I really want to beat the living shit out of him so badly!
I hope...I hope one day we can just slug it out. I really can't find another way, the things he's said and done, and the way other people see him. How they just walk over me like I am not human, despite how much I can't stand it sometimes (Sometimes, even though humans are the superior species, we are stupid and idiotic. There are times where I wander off and think "What if I was an animal on a secluded community; like a wolf...No matter how much I hate the winter...Or a penguin, but a chameleon will always be one of the top animal species that I love.).
Other than that...Today was normal. Well, no, it isn't.
We had tests in all but one class today.
One of which I had no idea about. And I failed it.
*Goes outside and roars "FUCK!"*
I'll live, though...French. Ohhh, dear French!
Please pardon my language, because I am in an unstable mood, but I fucked that test all the way up and down the street like it was my bitch.
And History...I think I brutalized that test!
I felt prepared like I was a fully-armed samurai in a field of blunt spears.
I got a surprise in that class, though.
My teacher (my 2nd favorite teacher) said that she needed to talk to me. Either I was in trouble (which almost never happens) or something cool was about to happen. This was on the cool side, a little bit.
She hoodwinked me into running for Class Treasurer. Now, I'm not the Student Government Buff, but I am not as lazy as I used to be; I take this offer with pride and honor. So I am actually going to try at this!
I'm a bit scared because this is the last week, and I need 50 signatures by Thursday, I have an interview and a speech to write! Some of which I do not think I can do, but I would face an incredible amount of shame and dishonor if I didn't even try.
Sad part about that, I'm running against Juan.
And when he chose to step out of his boundary when he knows that I will knock his teeth out if I was any more crazy. I feel like I've improved, but I feel so much anger swelling within me. And I can barely keep myself content.
Please, my friends, pray that I don't snap and do something stupid. I've one all year without having to fight someone, but I don't want to be screwed over this late in the game. Not like this!!
Anyway, back to the Chest.
I think I'd make a good treasurer, my Mom is always telling me how frugal and tight I am with money. (Plus, I'm a Taurus...Not a very good example, but some of that stuff does hold some truth.)
It wouldn't be impossible, but if I don't try, my very chance will be in vain.
But there are so many obstacles.
I am running for treasurer of 9th grade...Nobody in 9th grade likes me. And I can't get signatures from anyone in any other class.
Ugh! Fucking shit, man! I need to quit stressin'.
Ok, that's about it.
I'll try to get some work done this Friday, but wait, no, I have somewhere to be the following day. I'll get to it, eventually.
I'm contemplating on writing episode 2 of "Warrior's Note". There is a lot of action in that one.
Well, that's all on my plate for now.
Love y'all!
Good night.
Not What I Expected At All
Today did not go as originally planned. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it.
I woke up at a decent time, 8:40. But I stayed down until 9:15; still not a bad time.
I ate, showered, then I wanted to laze for a second, but my aunt forced me to clean up ahead of my internal schedule. Anyways, I got it done and I started doing C/CR homework. So far that's the only thing I got done.
Then I got a call from my mom saying that we were going to a play.
The play was that day!
I was so caught off...And a little frustrated.
I just got back less than a half hour ago.
But it was worth the wait.
We saw "Oklahoma!", and it was redone by some kids that my mom knew.
I met them last summer, but I didn't even know about the play until today.
I really can't stand being caught off guard with stuff like that. It makes me feel hoodwinked into doing something, which I don't like.
It was WAY worth it!
It was so funny, so well-coordinated, and just all-around awesome!
And I don't really like musicals that much.
Plays, they're okay, if I were to be participating, it'd take me a while to get into the right setting to be able to do it correctly.
Yeah, I haven't gotten to do much O-work here.
I was a little bit in the mood to write today, but I wanted to do some homework that I didn't get to do.
Forget about it, I'll just do it on Monday.
It's not due 'till Tuesday, but I don't like doing things at the last minute. And there is no way I'll be able to get it done on Sunday...Well, no, it could be possible.
Someone please remind me to do something special on here...I'm trying to get to it but I haven't been able to.
I'm a busy guy sometimes.
Whatever, though!
Love y'all!
Good night.
