Well, you know what I know what I said about not saying anything about the break up, but you know what, I need to blow off some steam. I'm not mad at her because it's all my fault this time. And If your reading this, I do still want to be friends thats why I urge you to not read this. Ok? And if your one of her friends just don't tell her ok, you cause even more trouble for me than I already got myself into? Can I once post something and not everyone say, stop hating or stop guilt tripping people? Just once, I woke up thinking I heard my phone alarm today, but got a message instead, and yes It was her breaking up with me. I can't be mad at her this time though, I can't, because It is my fault I trust her with the world, or used to, or something I don't know what to say now that were through, I wish I could just keep my mouth shut too. I say stupid stuff that I don't mean then I get pissed and people get pissed with me and argh! PIRATE NOISES! I don't know don't ask. I'm not crying this time, and I don't feel suicidal this time so, Yea. Good start right? I honestly think,that I might have broken up with her if she hadn't all I ever do Is fuck things up for her... It would have been fair for her, I wouldn't have wanted to, and I would of hated my self for it, more than I do already. But she would be happy, and I'd be alone like I should be. And no I'm not quoting her In any way,she was very straight forward, no insults, no harsh words, (even though I would have deserved them If she did...) I post this with complete strangers, because my friends wouldn't believe me, and my family would have kept me and her apart If they knew. So, strangers don't really know me so they can't really judge, only people who know me outside theO hate my guts now and are broken up with me, so, yea. I miss her, and give anything for her back, but... thats not going to happen, I screwed up too badly, after everything we've been through this is the final severing of ties I think, I've always trusted her, tried to be loyal to her, wait for her, but I say one comment I wish I hadn't now, and were through forever... This is all my fault, I should go jump off a bridge... Crap, depression's taken over, I need to find my meds.