God, I feel like crying right now... I royally messed things up with lia, again... I'm pretty sure she wants to break up with me and hates my guts now... All I ever do is hurt the ones I love. I hate myself, I never do anything right, all I do is screw up peoples lives and make them miserable... I bet the, I don't know 2, 3 maybe reading this are like, "dude calm down, dont you think your being too hard on yourself?" And the answer is no i'm not, I desire all this critisism and more. If this ends up like last time and she does break up with me i swear this is the only thing you'll hear of it from me. I won't go on a tangent again like last time. I hate myself so much. I honestly don't blame her for hating me, I deserve it... I wish with all my heart that I could take back what I said.I would If i could and I'd do anything for her to forgive me... But shes probably going to break up with me and I'll be alone again... I deserve it, I deserve it for hurting her, and no I'm not being dramatic she really means that much to me and i deserve all of this and more... I'm going to bed before I say anything else to make her hate me...