Wilkommen zu deizer verruckten zeit! As the title suggests, this is just a collection of stories I've written. Some will be fan fiction, some will be original stories. I may even include poetry. Please do not take my works and claim them as your own!! I doubt you would want to, but in the event you do, I will not hesitate to call upon the powers of the Karyu to bring ultimate judgement upon you! 
- Created By Mercury Dragon
The First Commandment
As promised, here is a story to explain how the first commandment of the Akatsuki came to be. There will be more to come. Please bear with me.
Thou shall not forget thy Akatsuki hat, cloak, ring, or other such article of clothing or accessory.
Sasori had just gotten into Hiruko, his favorite puppet, and was standing outside the Akatsuki base. The small redhead sighed and thought to himself, If that blond brat doesn’t hurry up, I’m going to leave him! The puppeteer was already in a foul mood at having to go on a mission on the weekend, not to mention his horrible morning. He’d awakened to the sound of Tobi being chased by Hidan, who was yelling every obscene word known to man at the little masked nuisance. When Sasori had gone into the common room to watch the morning news, he had discovered Itachi glaring at what appeared to be a molten glob of unrecognizable black goop. In all actuality, Itachi was glaring at the remains of the television set. Apparently, Itachi thought he had heard Sasuke’s voice coming from that general direction. As Sasori was walking back to his room to return to his endless work on his puppets, Pein had stopped him and informed him that he and Deidara were to go on a mission to Sunagakure, of all places, today. The redhead had simply nodded and continued to his room, only to arrive and find that Tobi had somehow broken the puppeteer’s latest masterpiece. Sasori had then gone outside to find the sky laden with dark clouds. And on top of this horrid morning, the redhead was being made to wait on that blond brat!
As Sasori was about to re-enter the Akatsuki base and drag the blond clay master outside, said clay master came rushing through the door, yelling, “Danna! Sasori-no-Danna, wait for—oof!” The tall blond man crashed into his partner. “I’m so sorry, Danna!” he said, as he stood and offered to help Sasori up. The redhead just swatted his hand away. “It’s just that, well, there was no hot water, and Itachi used the last of my shampoo, and I burned my toast, and—“ “Save it,” Sasori growled from inside Hiruko, not caring to hear his partner’s explanation. “Let’s just get this mission over with.” “Hai, Danna!”
The two began their journey to the Village Hidden in the Sand. They had made it a considerable distance from the base when the dark sky let loose an angry torrent of rain. “Sasori-no-Danna!” Deidara whined. “It’s raining!” Sasori stopped Hiruko and looked up at the blond. “Well, where is your hat?” he questioned, annoyed. “Um, I think it’s still in my room,” the clay master answered, fearing a severe tongue-lashing from what he perceived to be an old, hunched-over man. Sasori said nothing and began walking again. “Danna, my hair is getting wet! And the rain is cold!” “Well,” the puppeteer spat angrily, “perhaps you should have thought of that BEFORE running out the door and crashing into me!” Sasori stopped and looked up at the blond man again. Deidara was shivering violently now, and looked much like a nearly-drowned puppy. Sasori sighed and said, “Well, then get in.” A look of confusion stole onto the ex-Iwa nin’s face. “Get in where?” he asked. Sasori dropped the front of Hiruko. A look of utter shock took the place of confusion on Deidara’s face. “Y-you’re…You’re a KID!” he stammered. Sasori merely rolled his eyes and pulled his partner into the giant puppet. The two then headed back to the base. Deidara was silent for the rest of the trip.
Akatsuki Commandments
This is just something that spawned from too much sugar...
Akatsuki Commandments
- Thou shall not forget thy Akatsuki hat, cloak, ring, or other such article of clothing or accessory.
- Thou shall not feed Zetsu after midnight.
- Thou shall not take Kisame to the pet store or any such establishment in which fish may be purchased.
- Thou shall not leave thy artwork lying around the hideout, strategically placed or otherwise. Also, thou shall not detonate said artwork inside the hideout at any time for any reason.
- Thou shall not use thy artwork to answer the door or telephone for any reason.
- Thou shall not give Tobi any form of the following: sugar, glue, paint, noise-making devices, matches, or wrap. Also, thou shall not give Tobi any substance that may spill, stain, or otherwise make any form of mess or annoyance.
- Thou shall not leave any strands of thy “lovely locks” in any drain.
- Thou shall not force thy religion upon any other member of Akatsuki.
- Thou shall not bother Kakuzu whilst he is counting money. This includes, but is not limited to: shouting random numbers, telling Kakuzu that the value of money has dropped one hundred percent, burning said money, scattering said money, ripping said money, asking Kakuzu to reattach body parts, and calling Kakuzu names.
- Thou shall not engage in any other actions, listed or unlisted, that may, in turn, incur the wrath of the Leader.
