Wilkommen zu deizer verruckten zeit! As the title suggests, this is just a collection of stories I've written. Some will be fan fiction, some will be original stories. I may even include poetry. Please do not take my works and claim them as your own!! I doubt you would want to, but in the event you do, I will not hesitate to call upon the powers of the Karyu to bring ultimate judgement upon you! 
- Created By Mercury Dragon
The Sixth Commandment
Thou shall not give Tobi any form of the following: sugar, glue, paint, noise-making devices, matches, or wrap. Also, thou shall not give Tobi any substance that may spill, stain, or otherwise make any form of mess or annoyance.
The morning sun was just peeking over the horizon. The sky was clear and beautifully tinted. Birds were singing their morning songs, providing the world with a wonderful soundtrack. However, deep inside the Akatsuki base, all was dark inside a certain masked man’s room. “Hehe!” came the unsuspected sinister voice. “They’ll all be gone today! The perfect chance to begin my evil plan!” A single sharingan eye glinted in the darkness.
A few minutes later, Tobi came bounding out of his room, only to crash into Zetsu. “Tobi is sorry, Zetsu-san! Tobi did not know you would be here, outside of Tobi’s room!” he exclaimed enthusiastically. “Yes, well, it seems I won’t be going out today, Tobi. Pein has…other plans,” the plant man replied, laughing and walking away. Under his breath, in that same sinister voice from the darkened room, Tobi muttered, “That pierced fool! Leaving that mutated piece of broccoli here to keep a watchful eye over me…Who does he think is running this operation? I’ll show him…”
Tobi followed Zetsu into the kitchen. He sat down at the table and watched as the Venus flytrap man rummaged through the refrigerator. “Hey, Zetsu-san? Tobi is hungry, too!” Zetsu looked up from the refrigerator. “What would you like me to do about it?” he growled. “Can Tobi have cake for breakfast?” the masked man asked excitedly. “Sure, whatever,” came the reply, slightly muffled by the refrigerator.
After he had hastily consumed two generous slices of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, Tobi began to complain that he was bored. “Well, what would you like to do, you little freak?” asked Zetsu. “Tobi wants to do arts and crafts!” he exclaimed. Zetsu left the room and soon after returned with glue, scissors, paper, paint, popsicle sticks, and saran wrap. He placed the items on the kitchen table and told the masked nuisance, “That’ll keep you busy.” He then strode into the common room, plopped down on the couch, and turned on the television to his favorite show, One Bud To Blossom. It was a particularly emotional episode, and it was all Zetsu could do to keep from bawling like a baby as Lily watched her mother, Bromeliad, wilt in the nursery.
In the kitchen, Tobi busied himself making a giant ray gun. He began by gluing popsicle sticks together to form the frame. When that was finished, he covered his frame with the paper. He then painted his weapon black and red. “Ray guns really should be shiny,” he said to himself, and began wrapping it with the saran wrap. When he was finally finished, he stood back to admire his work. “That blonde, gender-confused fool’s bombs weren’t enough to destroy this band of idiots, but you, my beauty, will certainly get the job done,” he remarked in that sinister voice.
At that moment, Pein strode into the kitchen. “Hello, To—OH MY GODS!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR KITCHEN, YOU IMBECILE?!” Tobi shrank back from the leader and looked around the kitchen. Globs of glue and paint were splashed all over the walls, ceiling, and floor. Popsicle sticks and bits of paper were lodged in many of the globs. Tattered pieces of saran wrap clung to the refrigerator, microwave, and stove like shiny ghosts. Tobi looked up at the pierced, orange-haired man and said weakly, “Tobi…made you a present, Leader-sama..?” The masked nuisance’s masterpiece chose that exact moment to fall apart as loudly and abruptly as possible.
“ZEEETSUUUU!!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS LITTLE FREAK!!!” Pein shouted angrily. Zetsu came into the kitchen wiping his eyes. “What was so important that you couldn’t keep this from happening?” the leader asked, gesticulating at the wreck that was formerly the kitchen. Zetsu sniffed and said, “Well, it was the episode where Bromeliad, Lily’s mother, finally dies in the nursery and Tiger proposes to Rose, breaking Lily’s heart.” Pein simply glared at the Venus flytrap man.
Fiction: 08/26/08 | Posted By: Mercury Dragon | 1 comment | Naruto |
Akatsuki Commandments
This is just something that spawned from too much sugar...
Akatsuki Commandments
- Thou shall not forget thy Akatsuki hat, cloak, ring, or other such article of clothing or accessory.
- Thou shall not feed Zetsu after midnight.
- Thou shall not take Kisame to the pet store or any such establishment in which fish may be purchased.
- Thou shall not leave thy artwork lying around the hideout, strategically placed or otherwise. Also, thou shall not detonate said artwork inside the hideout at any time for any reason.
- Thou shall not use thy artwork to answer the door or telephone for any reason.
- Thou shall not give Tobi any form of the following: sugar, glue, paint, noise-making devices, matches, or wrap. Also, thou shall not give Tobi any substance that may spill, stain, or otherwise make any form of mess or annoyance.
- Thou shall not leave any strands of thy “lovely locks” in any drain.
- Thou shall not force thy religion upon any other member of Akatsuki.
- Thou shall not bother Kakuzu whilst he is counting money. This includes, but is not limited to: shouting random numbers, telling Kakuzu that the value of money has dropped one hundred percent, burning said money, scattering said money, ripping said money, asking Kakuzu to reattach body parts, and calling Kakuzu names.
- Thou shall not engage in any other actions, listed or unlisted, that may, in turn, incur the wrath of the Leader.
Feature: 03/05/08 | Posted By: Mercury Dragon | 18 comments | Naruto |
End