I rejoice in what I have and I know that fresh new experiences are always ahead. I greet the new with open arms. I trust life to be wonderful. – Louise Hay

"You can be the worlds greatest hero, or its most mild mannered citizen, the only person who can write your story, is you!" - Jonathan Kent to Clark Kent

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I Want More from Life

When you're graduating high school, did/do any of you have this dream of leaving the small town behind and going to the big city to make it big? Because I did. I wanted to get so far away from my classmates. High school wasn't terrible for me, but it also wasn't great. I had to sit out my senior year and watch my friends play the sport I loved. I basically went to school, went to work, and came home. There were no shining moments for me. I didn't go out or party. I just existed.
My hometown is very prejudiced against people who are different. I really wanted to get away from that. See what other perspectives there are in the world.
Back home, everyone knew who I was even if I didn't know who they were. My dad was born and raised there and never left, so they knew me through him. I wanted to get out of town and find a place where no one would know me. Somewhere I could start new.

And I got that when I moved here to Sioux Falls. I've made so many big, important decisions. Found a small apartment, worked three jobs while going to school full time. And then deciding to drop out of college and finding a great job where I have been promoted to manager. I did this all on my own. No help from anyone. I live in a great neighborhood- on a golf course!

But something's missing. I've just felt so off. Kinda pissy. I'm just not as enthusiastic as I usually am. And I realized that I want more out of life. I want to move to a big city. And I found a career that pays well and doesn't require a college education: flight attendants. I get to travel all around the world or the country at least.

If this feeling persists, I'm thinking of moving to Denver and looking for a flight attendant job there. Not sure I'll ever have the courage to go through with it. I'd have such a hard time leaving my family behind. But it's nice to know I actually have a back up plan if nothing here works out.

Hello, World

Man, I am terrible at updating this world. I have a lot of things happen and no time to write any of them down to share!

Nothing too huge has happened since last I wrote. I'm getting a taste of what being a manager is like and managing the current department I'm in before I get moved over to the new department. I like it where I am. I know what I'm doing and don't need help. It'll be an adjustment when I have to lean on others once I get moved over to the new department. But oh well.
And speaking of jobs, I got hired for a part time job at a better restaurant than where I was, so hopefully that means more tips and fewer sexual harassment incidents. Not sure how I'm going to like it yet. I start training in a couple weeks. So we'll see.

Other than that, not a whole lot to report. I've just been working.

I'm going to Vegas next month and Denver in June, and I got all the flights booked and everything squared away. I'm so excited! Can't freaking wait!!

Hope all of you are doing really well!

Life Updates!!

Wow, it has been a long time since I have had a chance to update anything about my life on here. I have been able to check in from time to time, but I just haven't been able to find the motivation to actually sit down and type out a post.

Gosh, I have to recap the whole month of March!

SO the first weekend of March, my best friend Jen and I drove down to Kansas City- any of you peeps live around there?! We wanted to hit up the Power and Lights District a bit. Gosh, we had a good time. IT was our first long roadtrip together (3 hours) and we've been best friends for 8-9 years.
We stayed at this nice loft downtown, and it was amazing. Made me want to move to a big city and get a loft. WE went out drinking and in the Power and Lights District at a bar called Howl at the Moon. IT was amazing. They had dueling pianos that were actually super good. And we basically joined this bachelor's party and had a grand ol' time.
There were parts of it that were a little weird, though. Like, how we got integrated into the group was Jen and I were sitting at this table on the dance floor, and one of the boys in the bachelor's party, John, got up and had this huge drink that I wanted, and I just blatantly started pointing at him while talking to Jen, and he came over to tell us what he was drinking so we could get the same thing, and then he never left our side. He was pretty nice. Very nerdy. Then he came and asked me if I'd sit on the groom-to-be's lap for a dance, and I thought he meant all I'd have to do is lean up against him, so I said yes. I was wrong. He full on pulled me on his lap on these tall ass chairs where I couldn't touch the ground, and he was bouncing me up and down and it was just weird. As soon as the song ended, I was gone so fast. So then I'm dancing with Jen and this other guy in the party comes over and is dancing with me and starts feeling up and under my dress, and I just remember having this horrified look on my face as I made eye contact with this girl up at the bar, and she looked like she wanted to come help me- but she never did. The guy was a creep because John told us later he's actually married but takes off his ring. Gross. When I drink, I get very kissy and touchy. Well, JEn left me alone to go to the bathroom, which is a huge mistake when I'm this drunk. I have a hard time saying no when I'm sober. IT's worse when I'm drunk. SO this guy not in the bachelor's party pulls me onto the dance floor and is spinning me around and then starts making out with me. And I remember thinking "This guy is exchanging saliva with me. I hate spit, and he's getting it in my mouth." When Jen came back from the bathroom, I gave her the signal to come get me away. (The signal is me waving my free arm and giving this wide eyed, horror expression.) IT happened a few times. Though I only remember making out with the one guy. We were there until the bar closed, and couldn't get Uber to work to call a cab, so we decided to just walk back to our hostel since it was only about 9 blocks away. Bad idea. Took us an hour to get back, and this guy kept circling the block and coming up and asking us if we were okay. Which sounds sweet, but it got creepy after we told him we were fine twice.
The next morning, I woke up fine, and Jen was a little hung over. I am so glad I never get hung over. I am one lucky duck.

Then the next week, I road tripped with my dad down to Oklahoma City to watch the Oklahoma City basketball team, Thunder, play the CLippers. JJ Redick, the love of my life, plays for the clippers, and this was the closest I'd ever get to him. WEll, the closest I'd get that was an actual fun game to watch. Going down there, I honestly did't think I'd ever actually get to be up close to the guy let alone actually meet him. But I did! I got to be down on the baseline and waited for him to come out of the tunnel, watch him shoot around, and then when he went to go back to the locker room, I caught his attention first, and he came over to me and signed my shirt and my dad's program. I said thank you, and he said you're welcome, and it was the best conversation I've ever had. I was seriously cheesing out. It was almost pathetic. MY dad and I kicked ourselves later: why didn't we talk to him more? Like, ask him a real question. Oh well, gives us an excuse to go watch another game.
The next day, we did a lot of sight seeing. We went and got to see the OVerholser Mansion, which was the neatest thing I've ever seen. Talk about walking back in time to 1903. Seriously, go check this place out if you like history. Then we went to the COwboy HEritage Museum, which wasn't as impressive as I thought it'd be. We walked through the botanical garden, but there weren't many flowers actually in bloom. Then we went golfing in the ghetto, but had a good time. I played pretty well for a change. Got a sunburn while I was at it. It's almost embarrassing how white and fair my skin is. WE also found this really cool BBQ place that had amazing food. That night, we went to Bricktown and listened to some dueling pianos, but they weren't even close to being as good as the ones in Kansas City were. So we got bored and went to Hooters before heading back to the hotel. We drove all the way back the next day, but stopped at my brother's college to say hi. It was the first time I've ever been to his college. It looks pretty sweet.

I was home last weekend, too, and we found this old key to my grandma's storage locker that we must have missed when we went through her stuff last year after she died. We found some cool stuff in there. Mostly Christmas stuff and an old typewriter and a 50 year old sewing machine that still somehow works.

Then last night, I went home again for my brother's Confirmation. I am his sponsor, and I'm really proud of the fact that I was both my brothers' sponsors. Better shape up my act and lead them down the path of righteousness.

I have been home every weekend but this weekend this month. Which is great to see my family, but sucks on the money aspect of it all. And then I have to go back home next weekend for Easter. Then I should be good for a while before I'll need to go back again. But we'll see.

I'm really wanting to get back into writing right now. But inspiration is running a little low. If you have any writing prompts to share, that'd be great!

How've you all been?!

I got a HUGE Promotion!!

I am so freaking excited!
So a couple weeks ago, my boss's boss's boss (She's the assistant vice president of the corporate office I work at. So she's kind of a big deal) pulled me into her office to tell me she thought I should apply for one of two positions that came open. One of which was a management position. The other is a JR Accountant.

So I applied for the coordinator position since you usually have to be a JR accountant for 6 months before you can get to a coordinator position. IT would be a huge opportunity for me. The position is 3 positions above my own. SO it'd be a huge promotion.

Well, the lady that brought me into her office coached me for what I should say during the interview with her and the vice president. I was so nervous, but I must have nailed it because I was told on Friday I got the job.

I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED!

I always told people it was the position I had always wanted to have but something I thought would take me forever to get there since I've never been a manager before and I really couldn't imagine myself actually managing people. But now I'm here, and I can't wait to start the job.

The pay will be an amazing increase. I'll basically be going home with $500 more a month. I'm definitely going to be putting a lot of money away now to start looking for a house.

I'll still be working at my part time job just because I make a shit ton of money there. But I might really decrease my availability after awhile since I won't be relying on it for much. But I'm gonna wait until after I have enough saved up to take my family to Disney World.

I Need Advice!!

I hope everyone had a great Valentine’s Day. Mine wasn’t too bad.

I made homemade toaster strudel in the shape of hearts. It actually turned out quite well. Really delicious. I dabbled around in the kitchen all morning after my fitness testing for my five week kickboxing class. I’ve lost at least an inch everywhere but my thighs. I’ve gained so much muscle, and I’ve gone from being able to do 6 push-ups to 40. Literally. It’s great. Then my parents called me to see if I wanted to meet them for supper since they knew I’d be alone. So I hung out with them for supper. I came back home and beat Dragon Age: Inquisition. So good! Cullen is my honey. Although the final cutscene was weird because it glitched out and when my character would go to hug the other characters, there wasn’t anyone there, so she was hugging the air. And she’d be talking to people, but there was no one there. And then no one was sitting in their chairs the right way. The glitch was just super weird.

Joe texted me early that night to tell me Happy Valentine’s Day, which I’m pretty sure he’s never initiated since our first Vday together. But yes, Joe and I still talk. In fact, we still see each other about once a week. The only thing that’s changed is that he’s apologized for everything and he’s been different. Good different. We talked about going on a cruise together next winter.

I just can’t stay away from him. As hard as I may try, and I tried. I tried so hard. But I love him so much that I literally cannot see myself with anyone else. I have tried, and I just cannot find that connection with anyone else. And I know you all probably think I’m stupid that I keep doing this back and forth with him. And a part of me thinks so, too, but I can’t stop my heart from what it wants. I’m terrified to tell my friends I’m still seeing him. I just know they are going to be so disappointed in me. But to be fair, they only know Joe through me. And they only ever really hear about the bad stuff. I don’t like my best friend’s fiancé, but I have to just bite my tongue and deal with it. SO she can deal with Joe. I don’t know if Joe and I will be forever or if we’ll be together for a short while. But I’m not as detached as I thought I was. I’m so emotionally invested into him.

But when I hung out with him on Saturday night, he was holding me and asking me why I liked him and just telling me he loved me, and all the sudden he stops and says, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but would you marry me.” And my heart… oh, my heart… it did flips in my chest. I said yes with barely any hesitation. No, we’re not engaged, he followed this up with the why do you like me question. But now I can’t stop thinking about it. I know I shouldn’t make it into a big deal since he didn’t really ask, but I can’t help it. I’ve talked about a serious future with ex-boyfriends before, but no one has ever theoretically asked me if I’d want to marry them. I want to question him more about it. Like, will he ever actually ask the question? Can we date first? Does he see a future like that with me? Would you guys ask him those questions if you were in my position? Or would you let it alone and worry about dating first?