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I'm crumbling

Hey guys...it's been a while...a long while now that I think about it.
It seems like whenever I post here I talk about being more active and then I disappear for like 4 months and make a post or two and then Im gone again.

This time though...it's not that I haven't had any time to post here, or no WIFI or anything...but I just haven't been motivated to do anything.

My job is kinda stressing me out...and with the holiday season things seem to only be getting worse. Every day I leave wanting to quit but I dont have the guts to actually do so..or another reason is because I always think "Maybe tomorrow will be better" but it honestly hasn't gotten any better.
I've even had customers yell at me and call me a "B*tch" to my face...and all I'm doing is just trying to do my job and follow the rules. I've even gotten to the point where I will argue with them back because I can only tolerate so much when it comes to complete fucking strangers talking down to me.
This customer had the nerve to tell me
"If you don't wanna have to serve people like me, then get a real fucking job"
--I like glared at her and leaned over the counter and said.."Oh, please, tell me about your amazing ass REAL JOB!" and she said I was being rude and I told her to leave

It's not like I dont have a real job...I'm a bakery clerk at a grocery store.
Not running a damn Lemonade Stand...and some of those even become successful!
But whatever..

Anyways on top of my work related stress, I have also been having issues with my friends I guess.
None of us are fighting...or at least not that I know of..
But it almost feels as if...maybe we are growing apart. Or more like maybe I'm growing apart from them...or the other way around.

Now, I don't have that many friends to begin with..so the ones I did have always felt kinda like a small family to me. Now I feel like we are all strangers..or at least I've become a stranger.
They will all hang out with each other....but I'n always some sort of after thought or forgotten about.
It's not like I don't try and keep in touch with everyone, because I do. I try very hard...but no one is keeping in touch with me.
One friend in particular has become extremely distant. The person who I thought I could always count on and who promised me that we would never grow apart.
Talking to them is like pulling teeth, but after a while I catch the vibe that they probably don't even wanna talk to me anymore...or they just stop replying to me and go and do other things like post on other sites or whatever.
It's not like I go specifically to their profile and check, but when I'm scrolling through my feed and I just see them doing their own thing and I'm just left sitting there like
..."Oh...I wouldn't have minded going there too...I also like conventions...I like to do things.."

At one point I felt like I had gotten over my friends and were all
"PSSH I DON'T NEED YOU DAMN LOSERS!! FUCK YALL!!"
Once in a while I do feel like that still..but I'm beginning to feel very lonely.

I think that maybe...instead of crying over my friends who no longer seem like they want anything to do with me...it might be best to try and meet new people.
Buut I have terrible social anxiety and I don't really know...how to make friends...so yay...
Hopefully I will figure something out sooner or later. I will always try to be positive and find something to keep my mind busy and away from the sad thoughts.

I'm gonna wrap this post up here, sorry it wasn't funny like things usually are.

~ CrimzonN3k0 z ~

FUUUCK Im confused

Hey guys! I miss all your faces! Now then...prepare for the rant/complaining/bitching WARNING -- There will most likely be a lot of swear words beyond this point, if swearing makes you uncomfortable then I would advise you not the con...

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Preparations(JAFAX19)

With summer coming up on us not only are we getting a lot of nice weather but awesome events like cons and expos are crash landing in a town near YOU ~

With that being said I have been preparing and will be attending....

External Image

That's right! This year I will be going to JAFAX 19 ~
I've never been and I was supposed to go last year but there was a problem with transportation so I ended up not going anywhere.
This year though, I have the transportation and I asked for the days off waaay back in March and was approved!

JAFAX is on June 21 and 22!
It's so close and I am excited seeing people post their cosplay preparations and I really dig what I am seeing! This year I will also be doing my VERY FIRST cosplay. I'm kind of nervous but really excited at the same time because...I dunno XD
I'm not telling anyone who I am going to cosplay as until the very last minute because I'm just very dramatic that way.
I'm really loving my mom's face whenever I get stuff in the mail and she asks
"Why do you even need that??"
and then I just look at her chuckling and say
"It's for cosplay"

I will be going with a few friends and we've been planning for this since...January? XD

Anyways, if you live in Michigan, especially the GR area then I suggest that you come to JAFAX and have a great time!
It's a free event and is open to the public so I just saved you some coinage!
If you're already going theeeen COOL!
Can't wait to see so many different people and just have a good time.

Here are a few links if you are interested ~
WEBSITE
FB PAGE
FB EVENT PAGE

Other than JAFAX I honestly don't have any summer plans besides shooting fireworks and singing happy birthday to myself and maybe trying to spend some time with my friends and do a lot of things that I have planned for the year ahead.

Well anyways this is it for this post, I guess.
STAY FROSTY

~CrimzonN3k0 z~

What Have I been Up To?

Hey there everyone! Hope you are all doing fine! I finally got a day off work, so I thought that I might as well update you all on what I am doing in my boring, little life. W O R K I N G...

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Where Have I Been?

Oh hello there everyone! Long time no post as always ~ I hope none you missed me too much XD ((I highly doubt it)) I hope that you all have had nice..many holidays that have all passed since Valentine's Day ...

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