Title gives it all away. I'm bored so why not write down how I feel, I don't know.

Home life has been okay. My family is getting along well. My biological father calls and I don't really want to speak to him but he kept it short.
And LOL, my sister has a requited crush. Pretty much the loveliest news I heard in a long while.

School is shitty as always. Everyone is so loud I just feel like kicking, screaming, punching. But then I would be as loud as them. So this is unacceptable. I'm sure my grades are slowly dropping. Maybe.

Only good thing lately has been my trip to the State Fair. It was nice; a real good break from hell. Of course, I spent my time alone, although I was also with my art teacher so that made up for that. She's a nice lady, has a real love for art which is kind of surprising considering how young she is and all. My art class and I went to the State Fair mainly to look at the art gallery, but when also spent some time looking around. Some people even had enough time to go on rides. I didn't; I spent my time eating an $8 turkey leg (my god) and buying funnel cake and Dora inflatables for my sisters.

Anyway, while I was walking around the art gallery, I noticed how much talent there was in my area.. Especially among the little children! You can really see the potential in the elementary and middle schools that it put the high school area to shame.
Saw an 11-year-old who painted like a god(dess) and I felt immediately intimidated. Man, I- I never even drew like that when I was that young. Holy shit. And I saw some professional work as well: there was this gorgeous painting, so so sooo very detailed.. Man. I think seeing that awe-inspiring a piece in real life just shook me.

It's like... how could I ever achieve that kind of.. asfjl ???

I just don't know. I have these art supplies in my house, yet I feel like I cannot achieve that awesome. I feel like I want others to get a feeling of "epic" when they see something I do. Some kind of burning, passionate feeling or something. That's what I get when I see amazing works. :(

Have you ever become so envious of someone's ability that it makes you feel worthless and inadequate and mediocre? It's like ability that it makes you feel worthless and inadequate and mediocre? It's like HOW COME THIS PERSON CAN DO THIS, MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY MAKE OTHERS FEEL THIS WAY but I cannot?

...Blargh.

I don't know anything about traditional media or have the brains to even comprehend one fucking thing about digital art.
How the hell will I ever go to an art school? Are they joking? Because I don't find it funny.

Man, I can't even remember what else I wanted to type tonight.

+Mariel+

Life: 10/24/09 | Posted By: smexykazekage | 8 comments