ADolsk. 18.
I just came here to party.
- Created By CoLoR Me EviL
I Am Otaku. Hear Me Roar.
Hello, my name is Alexa, but I prefer to go by Udon-ninja-sensei-tan, though I formerly went by Onigiri-ninja-chan-sama in my younger years! I am eighteen years old, work at the mall, and for the past 12 years of my life, I have been an otaku. I know that some of you purists are shaking your heads at this right now, saying that “Only Japanese people can be otaku!” But, my friends, you are wrong. With the right heart, you can be anything, like how Tom Cruise-san became a Samurai! In this world, I understand that we otaku have developed a bad reputation for being geeks and losers, but this is not so! We are far from it. We are simply people that are passionate about Japanese imports!
First of all, I would like to clear up the stereotype that we otaku have poor hygiene skills and cannot dress ourselves. Did you ever stop and think that maybe we used up the last of the shampoo washing the hair of our life sized Sailor Moon figurine, or that we happen to like those pants that are just a little too short in the legs? No. I bet you didn’t. The truth is, we understand that yeah, maybe we do smell a little bit funky sometimes, and yeah, some of our clothes do look a little bit outdated. But you know what? We wash when we can. We have to look after our memorabilia first. Do you even realize how quickly those things depreciate in value?! We know what you kids are wearing these days, with your low rise pants and your short skirts and your tiny shirts, but we opt for the comfortable route. In your opinion, we may be “out of date”, but when you’re visiting your collectible dealer, and he just got a new shipment of stuff and it’s on the bottom of the glass case, it’s not very practical to wear a skirt and a low cut top, is it? I do not support the gratuitous panty flashes in real life, no sir!
Many people believe that outside of anime, otaku have no interests. They believe that otaku are simply uninterested by anything outside of the anime realm. That’s not true at all! I have many interests! Like listening to JRock, watching movies in Japanese with subtitles, writing slash fics, ordering samurai swords, ninja equipment and ancient scrolls off the internet. This one time, I totally found this sweet guide to becoming a shinobi, by the last known shinobi master, Ryu Sobakawa. I also eat a lot of ramen! I eat ramen with every meal. My favourite brand of ramen is Sapporo Ichiban. I really don’t like the Maruchan brand. Please. Who do they think they’re kidding? We also love sports. Granted they are sports video games, but I’m sure it’s pretty much the same as going outside and doing it anyway!
I hate it how many think that Otaku only like Gundam Wing and hentai, and how female otaku only like shounen ai. I don’t mind shounen ai, but give me yaoi over that sissy stuff, any day! Fluff is nice, but let’s face it, if I’m watching it, I obviously want to see everything, so let’s not skimp on the details. Who doesn’t want to see two totally beautiful boys going at it? As if one wasn’t great enough, there are two? Oh my gosh! They’re always so perfect… with the quiet, strong, and troubled seme, and the calm and gentle uke who is the only one who can unlock the seme’s heart… *squeals* KAWAII!!!! *coughs* What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. The point is, there are many (better) anime outside of Gundam Wing, that otaku are interested in. The world of anime is a huge one, and there are things outside of giant mechas battling each other for Kami-sama knows what that you can watch.
Another prevalent stereotype associated with us otaku is Cosplay. First off, people seem to think that we all do it, and secondly, many people seem to think we do it very poorly. Now, I’m not sure why all you “regular” folk find it creepy. Who doesn’t want to pretend they are someone else for a day? I’d like to think that somewhere out there, the character that I am cosplaying is totally honoured that I want to dress up like him or her. I bet you’d be totally stoked if someone dressed up like you because they liked you so much! And as for the quality, there is nothing wrong with adding tons of personal flourishes. If you can’t tell who we’re dressed up as, ask! And then we will tell you and explain all of our personal additions to the outfit, such as chains, cat ears, fishnet… It’s all very original, you see, so that we’re honouring the character all the while proclaiming our edgy, non-conformist ways! This is especially effective in the Naruto fandom!
Original Characters are also a wonderful route to take… Of course it’s more than likely that we or someone we know will make it big in the anime industry over in Japan, so one day our Original Character will be a very real and idolized character who is constantly cosplayed. It just makes good sense to get a head start.
And, if you don’t want to go to all the trouble of sewing or buying a costume or coming up with a totally new character, you can always just take your chains, cat ears and fishnet and call yourself a JRocker. I’m sure one of them looks just like you. You are probably very visual kei.
The last stereotype I’d like to break is that otaku have no social lives, and can’t get dates. That’s so unfair! I have tons of friends! Like Kenneth-san, Dorothy-chan, Patricia-chan, and Charles-san (I like to be informal though, and I call him Chuck-san). We go to Kenneth-san’s house a lot and play the latest games on his modded PS2 that have only been released in Japan. Our favourite game to play is Kidou Senshi Gundam SEED Destiny: Rengou vs. Z.A.F.T. II Plus. As for dating, many of us prefer not to, because we know that no real person could compare to the characters we have come to know and love in our dating sims. I mean obviously, who could be as kind and caring as Tamaki Oto-kun from my personal favourite dating sim, First Live(that is not a spelling mistake. Seriously.)? None of the pigs here, that is certain.
In the end, I have to apologize to you, the “normal” folk. Because now I am sure you understand how much cooler it is to be an otaku. It’s not our fault we’re so much more passionate about what we love, and are unafraid to show it to the world. Some of your friends may have told you horror stories about otaku, and may have spread the stereotypes. But the truth is, they’re simply jealous of something they can never be. Unfortunately for you, not everyone can just go out and be an otaku. It takes great dedication and commitment. I followed my heart when I decided to become an otaku (like many of the great bishoujo heroines out there), and I gave up the social norms for that which I loved the most, and if you think you can let go of your conformist doubts and embrace your true obsession, then I say to you “welcome to the world of otaku.”
Originally written in 2006, revamped.
Feature: 07/08/08 | Posted By: CoLoR Me EviL | 5 comments | Personal |
"Maybe"
old, but still one of my favourite poems to date.
On the opposite end of the bench,
you exhale smoke rings.
Clear your throat awkwardly,
do anything to avoid looking at me.
You said sorry,
I guess that makes it okay.
It can't work out now,
according to you.
I'm optimistic.
If not now, there's always later.
When the wings of angels molt
and God is having a bad day -
perhaps then, when his back is turned,
and if we're really quiet about it -
we can make it.
Dolsky/07
Life: 05/19/08 | Posted By: CoLoR Me EviL | 0 comments |
Vandalizing the Imaginary.
I kept trying to write a manifesto
but her tears kept on falling on my page.
And I felt better when you felt worse
so I guess it's all relative, in the end.
Tag your feelings on the wall and sign them
because I'll be more inclined to look when you turn them
into something beautiful.
Vandalize to analyze.
psychoanalyzing
a psycho.
Life: 04/22/08 | Posted By: CoLoR Me EviL | 0 comments | Personal |
Being a Female Gamer in a Male Gamer's World
I’ve been into gaming since I was about 9, when my Dad bought me an N64. This was my first game system, and I loved it a lot. I played it during a lot of my free time, and I’d invite friends over to play too. I used it up until I was about 12, when my Dad decided it might be a good idea to get a bit of an upgrade. So with that, we split the cost of a ps2 (this was back when it was still $400 Canadian), and I got myself a new game system.
I’d never thought much of being a girl gamer. To me, it was rather normal. I hung out with the boys and we’d all just play video games together. Gender was never an issue. At 12, I went into grade seven, my first year of Jr. High, still as big of a gamer as ever. It never occurred to me that I might be criticized for my choice of hobbies outside of school, and so I would still hang out with a few of my friends from elementary, and a few new friends too, and talk about video games. As I expanded my friendship circles, I realized that none of my new girl friends ever talked about video games. In fact when I myself talked about them, I was shocked that they really had no idea what I was talking about.
Finally, I was told that it was rather weird for me to enjoy video games as a pastime. “They must be joking” I thought to myself. Over the years I’d had a lot of fun playing these video games, and they’d become a rather happy part of my childhood. I didn't understand why these girls saw that playing video games suddenly made me less feminine than they were. I also got to hear a lot of the phrase “It’s just not normal.” Obviously, I began to rethink my love of video games.
I thought about who I wanted to be, and how I wanted to be that person. I came to the conclusion that I shouldn’t change myself in order to fit in. I decided that my friends could either accept me, video games and all, or they never really were my friends to begin with. Luckily, they chose to accept me, and stopped teasing me for my love of video games—for the most part.
In grade 8, my friend got a ps2, online ready. So he bought SOCOM, hooked it all up, and I went over to his house to play it. I was amazed at the staggering amount of male gamers that would turn on their teammate as soon as they heard that teammate’s rather female voice enter their headphones. I was harassed verbally, accused of being ‘a little prepubescent boy’ or ‘chick’, or just another wannabe gamer-girl among other things. I was told I had no idea what I was doing, and I really should go somewhere else if I wasn’t going to be useful. Some would only hear me speak once, and they would turn around and shoot me, so I couldn’t do any damage.
A few guys were nice enough, and offered to help me get better. I was even offered the chance of joining a clan. But I’m actually very sure that this was only because of the fact that I was a girl. If I was new to SOCOM, and a boy, I’m positive that I would have had to learn the ropes and get better all on my own. Okay, yeah, I’m pretty much a bad person for saying that. Not all boys that play online games or games in general are sexist, or think that they’re better than female gamers. But I am saying that there are enough boys like that out there, to make the gaming experience somewhat… lesser.
I know there are lots of girls everywhere that enjoy video games on a normal basis, and not all, but many of them, will go through a lot of the same things I have, until they can prove they are ‘hardcore’ enough for the rest of the gaming world. But I think my biggest problem is why should they have too?
Honestly. Just because I’m a girl, should I have to try thirty times harder so I can be accepted in the gaming community? I don’t think so. Should we be criticized, and accused of being too tom-boyish because we like the games with shooting and gore? Because we play army games and like them? I’d like to think that the answer to all of those questions would be no. Yeah, it is unconventional, no; female gamers won’t be completely accepted right away. But it shouldn’t be this bloody hard for them to become a normal part of gaming culture.
Alright, I’ll admit it. I never did end up gaining the credibility to call myself a SOCOM pro, that was only outcast from the group for my… femaleishness, inverted genitalia, or what have you. But I wasn’t completely useless, and if some people would’ve looked past my… “gender disadvantage”, maybe they would’ve seen that.
These days, it’s more of the same. Gears of War, Halo 3, Call of Duty 4 and whatever else. Shooting games are not, nor will they probably ever be, my gaming forte. But I try, and I have fun. I know I make mistakes and I laugh at myself when I do. Because as gamers, that’s what we do, right? Trial and error. See what works for us, and above else, we play to have fun. Video games are fun, and nobody should ever try and make you think that they’re anything else. Video games, much like the internet, are really NOT serious business.
I came to realize, after joining this community, that there were a whole lot more female gamers out there then I thought. It was such a cool discovery for me, after feeling so alienated for some time. I’d have to recommend to every girl that reads this, and that hasn’t ever tried a video game, to go ahead and do it. It’s fun. It’s good for you. I think you’ll like it. And maybe not one of those ‘shoot-em-up-destroy-everything-in-sight’ type games, necessarily. Perhaps a nice RPG?! I can recommend quite a few of my personal favourites.
Boys- I know you love to be the gaming pros, and that some of you are not all that into the ideas of girls entering your territory. Get over it. Because it’s going to happen, no matter what you want. (Note: Keep in mind I’m not directing this at all boys. Just that there are a few of you who are still coming to terms with this whole thing. You know who you are.)
Girls- Don’t worry about what boys or friends think. If you’re lucky, you might even convert a few of your girlfriends to game if you keep on them about it. Or if you’re really lucky, you’ll have some girlfriends who already do like to game! Basically- do what you love, or if you haven’t yet experienced the greatness that is gaming, what are you waiting for?!
(Written in 2006 and revamped)
Essay: 03/22/08 | Posted By: CoLoR Me EviL | 77 comments | Personal |
More than just existing.
A Heron
Standing in calm, anticipating repose.
Silent Little Buddha.
No worrying,
only living.
Merely moments,
living snapshots of a whole.
So perfect at being;
I wish you could be a Heron
and see how perfect
you could be.
A.Dolsky/08
Life: 03/08/08 | Posted By: CoLoR Me EviL | 1 comment |
End